Feeling smothered

[GingerMarie90]

My boyfriend and I just got back together 2 weeks ago, after 2 months apart. Before that we dated for 7 months. We discussed everything already, he apologized for some things, & we are giving it another try. However, already I am feeling smothered. He wants to spend time together every single day & it's making me crazy. He wants to spend the night with me every night, which I wouldn't have a problem with except I feel that it is just too soon for us to be taking it to this level. Even though we dated for 7 months before, I feel like we are taking things too fast right now, considering we had a pretty difficult break-up and some time out of each other's lives. To make a long story short, I am just trying to figure out how to go about telling him that I need a little more "Me" time & that he is making me feel smothered. I want the relationship to work out, but by not giving me enough space this early on I feel like it is causing me to resent him. Please help, any ideas/advice?

[mhowe]

Tell him what you feel --- it is too much, too soon. Set boundaries.

[alli]

I think you better stop figuring out the right way to tell him you need some space and just tell him! Even though you dated before, you can't just pick things up where you left off. It doesn't work like that. The longer you wait, the more he will think "I need space" means "I want to break up again". You better give him an idea of how much time together you want. Every other day? 5 days a week? Is there a limit to how many days in a row you want to see him? If you just say "I need space" he's going to have to guess on how much space you are talking about. And he is probably going to guess wrong.

[SooSad33]

He SHOULD rightfully 'accept' that without a real problem. Life entitles you to your own time. It is healthy and highly suggested or you can be in each other's face a bit too much- bringing on more problems.

Say to him what you will- whether it be no more than 3 nights? Say so.

 

If he gets all upset, maybe he's seeming a bit too 'clingy' and has some issues to deal with? He's a big boy now. he can accept it or leave..?

[GingerMarie90]

Thanks everyone, this helps a lot. I need to work on communicating more effectively with him I think.