G-Friend broke up with me, want her back, please help

[ebola316]

Thats true, I want to go back to Florida, but thats where we met, so I'll probably feel just as bad there. It doesn't matter where you go or who you're with, it just follows you around.

 

I try to think about the things I didn't like about him, but that doesn't work. I wish I could just deprogram my brain to before I met him. All I ate today was 10 chocolate cherries, and drank about 20 cups of coffee.

My friends are sick of me, my kids are sick of me. I am sick of me.

[motopilote]

I think i am just sick. I have had cotton mouth for weeks. Anyone have that?

[ebola316]

Ive had that for the past 10 days. Why can't we be strong like Eminem in his songs? He doesn't take any crap from the opposite sex.

[motopilote]

you know i really think NC is the way to go. I was just on my way to rcover, and this set me back a couple off weeks. I c'ant do it. I d'ont want to hear from her ever again, unless she wants to say she is sorry or has regrests. I am only human, you know. I feel neither dead or alive, i am just here, like a zombie, and every day i just go though the motions, with nothing planed or nothing happy to expect. The only person that would help me feel better is not with me. I have never felt so alone in my life, even when my parents died. I just c'ant relate to anyone. I had a friend calle me today to see how i was, he said i must be doing good because he had not heard from me in 2 weeks, i said i feel the same, and i d'ont want to bother you with my problem anyone. I feel i am going to loose a lot of friends, but i just c'ant relate to them or feel the need to hear how great things are for them.. In the end i will have to make myself feel better, i just have not found the cure for this sickness. Maybe it will take a year or 2 or whatever, but really they can take they memories and stick them up thier bung hole as far as i am concerned. I have never been so unhapy and for what? Was it worth it? no. had a good time? sure. do i want to feel better? yes, but how. Want to move on? sure but to what? Need to make plans? what plans, mine got taken away d'ont feel the urge to be disapointed anymore. Were do i want ot be? i d'ont know. Do i need another g-friend? not right now, no thank you. I am going to be alone for ever and bitter? i hope not, but probally. Want to deal with all these problems at once? No thank you. Will i ever forget her? No way man, not after this. Do i feel good? yes when i sleep. Do i want anything? no, not worth it. Did i get anything out off this? NO. Any more questions? yes. Does bad karma catch up with you? does really what comes around go around? I sure hope so. can i make it? i guess so. is there a point?

[ebola316]

I really do believe what comes around goes around. In the past I've seen that happen over and over. But sometimes it take years to come back around. I don't have years to feel like this. I don't have any fond memories either. The good memories make me feel like crap. I only know I wasted 2 years out of my life and came away from it 10x worse than I was before it.

[mystic1]

Reading all the posts on this thread...really hits home with all the problems I've had accepting my b/u. Mine goes all the way back to July! Just when I think I'm doing better....boom....I seem to go back a step...

 

Many people (including me) are resistant to the reality of a relationship that ends...but many of the books I've been reading talk about "the gift" in the seemingly miserable outcome. You might not see it now, but there are lessons which you can learn and the net result is-you will be happier, more secure, more fulfilled in your NEXT relationship if you take these lessons to heart. Maybe you don't even feel that you did anything wrong...well perhaps you should've relied on your gut or intuition about this person, and prepared yourself for the outcome.

 

I believe in metaphysics and spirituality. Before my g/f left me...I had dabbled in these matters, but now I am really in tune with spirituality. When someone chooses to leave, it is a huge blow to the ego and our pride. Letting go of ego is a huge step towards unconditional love. Truly loving someone means loving them enough to LET THEM GO. I know it's a hard one to grasp, but your lover was exactly the right person for you at exactly the right time in your life. Don't be bitter. When you're bitter you are placing obstacles in your path to finding love-THE LOVE.

 

I can honestly say that if she hadn't ended it, I would not have a spiritual focus, or a new job. Everything happens exactly as it's supposed to in the universe.

 

Peace

[ebola316]

I'm worried about you Frederick, where are you?

[Double D]

I spoke with my ex again, we have managed to speak every day this week. I explained to her that I don't want to be her parachute or her backup guy while she goes looking around for Mr. Right. She told me I shouldn't feel that way and that she is just confused. Then she asked me what I wanted for Christmas and my birthday and invited me to a dinner with some of her friends. We sleep together occasionally but we have not been intimate in a couple of weeks. She has a date on Saturday night, but plans to go out with me on Sunday. My emotional state is totally in shock. She is the source of all my happiness and all of my pain. I know I shouldn't be with her and I will probably end up getting hurt even more, possibly to a point of severe depression that I won't be able to handle. but I know that if I leave her or she leaves me the emptiness will totally kill me and I don't know how I will survive. This is what scares me. I guess I'm afraid to be alone, I just want to be part of her life again like we were. I don't know why she had to change.

[Bibora]

After browsing a little over google i come up with this foruns... And this post...

Well it made today 3 weeks that me and my g-f broke up... Since then life as been totally $h1t on me...

The reasons she broke up with me are more or less understandable, although some leave me alot to think... Ok the majour one was that i was to needy (well guess what im 27 and this was my first real relation, so i was to scare to loose - yeah i love her really alot) and i did overreact a bit cause of that... But the rest leaves me a bit to wonder... Well, saying to me she wouldn't always wanted e to go out with me, but actually with other guys left me a bit shocked but i tried to deal with that. She actually got out twice with another guy. I allowed that but never felt good with that and wasnt honest with her. My mistake here. But still i think there should be some respect from her part and avoid some situations... Well with all this, and the fact she had a similar relation before, made the relation come to a break point.

I also made some mistakes, cause i meet her over the internet and she was changing to my country to study for a year. So i decided to move in with her, not giving time to know her better. Yeah i change my life completely over her. Moved town, change work, and got a wonderfull house for us... But i never did the smartest thing and got to know her right...

Well all this story for what? After we broke up, the next 3 days i was so angry on her that i made lots of sh1t... She wanted to be friends but i was so angry that i hurt her alot. In the end of the 3rd day she told me she never wanted to see me again... Well 1st it was me who didnt wanted to be friends, now im desperate to contact her, missing her like hell and she wont contact me...

I will move on but its too hard on me right now...

Oh the relation only last 3 month e a half. Ppl say it was for the best that it last so short... I dont know... Im marked by her... She could have been the one

[motopilote]

Well Havent been in here in a few days, so i thought i would post. My car broke down on me yesterday, the clutch. That was the last thing i needed to happen to me. I also went over my finaNces yesterday, i'm almost bankrupt, c'ant pay my bills. I d'ont know what to do, but i'm not going to worry about it, c'ant do anything anyway. Also my ex called me today, and i answered, that was a mistake, but it felt good to tell her go get what you want and i d'ont care. I do care, but i have serious problems with money right now, c'ant let her drag me down no more. So i have to ride my bike in 40 degress. Nice/ Reminds me off my first divorce, i anded up with my motorcycle and a back pack full of clothes. I was 23 years old, now i am 35. Oh well. On the sunny side i have a date tonight, it is nice to talk to someone who cares about what you say and is interested in you. So i think it will be ok tonight, i am not worryng anymore, i just d'ont care, only so much i can do.Next time she calls i am not answering, she is playing some kinda game with me, and i'm not playing anymore.So here is my news, my life is a disaster, but i feel good right now

[motopilote]

Oh i forgot, she called my sister Friday, my sister told her i had dates, witch was not true, but i wonder if that is why she called me today. Like i told her 4 times, i did not call you, you called me.. i have a feeling she is going to call in the next 3 days, but i wont answer

[ebola316]

Good to hear your ok Frederik, don't answer her calls. She just wants to torture you. Mine hasn't called back in 3 days, and I hope he doesn't.

 

Go out, try to have a good time, and just take it day by day.

[motopilote]

A update to my daily drama.

Well, this morning i text messaged my ex asking if i could call her. To my amazement, she called me right away. After a while on the phone, whe both agreed we could see each other today, whe would meet in the park, downtown. So we meet around 3:30 talk and walk. After a while i said you d'ont have to be here, you can leave, i want to kiss you and you should leave. She kept hanging around, and after a while whe both kissed. Long story short, whe went back to her place and did what commes naturaly to both of us. I did leave and came home, with feels good. It was nice to see her and hold her, man that was great. Whe had a long talk and she told me about her dates, and me about mine. I told her about one i have on tuesday, and she strated to ask me all kinds off questions about it. So in a short form, whe are not back together, but i think she might be having dought although she says we are broken up and stuff. But i am confussed about all this, and i am not sure where it will lead, but right now i feel great. Like i told her when i left, she wanted to ride on my bike, ask your next boyfriends, but really, it was great to see her and hold her in my arms. If someone had told me this would happen to me today yesterday, i would have never believed him. I told her when i left, this is way more then i expected, witch it was, i never dreamed this. I have a fealing she will be calling me real soon. Like i told her while whe were kissing, you drive me crazy, she said you are creazy, i said so are you, and whe both laughted. Wow. What a day. If i play it cool, i might see her again. I have learned one thing during this, if you quit being the persuer, then the persued can relax around you and might enjoy your company. Any thoughts about that?

[ebola316]

Good for you Frederik,

 

It sounds promising. Take it slow and see where it goes from here.

[nextlife]

she's a cunt..move on. there are so many box's out there....find a better box.....

[motopilote]

i AM AFRAID THAT YOU ARE RIGHT.Oh well, her loss. Still made me waiste a year of my life. Maybe i should sue? I give up, not worth it

[motopilote]

I have some questions, would like some feed back.

1) Does no contact really work?

2) How long does it take until you feel better?

3) How do you regain your self esteem?

4) Does the fealings you have for that person always stay with you?

5) What happens next?

6) Is it safe to asume that the person who broke up with you really did

not trully love you?

7) What are we suposed to learn from all this?

8) Why is it so painfull?

9) Sometimes i feel like my world stoped,anyone else feel like that?

10) What are we suposed to do?

11) Am i the only one ignoring the hollidays?

[ryan14]

hi

 

1.) Does no contact really work?

 

you have to ask yourself first, if your using NO CONTACT to get your ex back it will never work, it will just be a temporary solution, you might get back for the wrong reasons and eventually you'll breakup.

 

but if you're using NO CONTACT to heal yourself, meaning your ok to move on, you're ok if your ex calls or not, you try to heal to better yourself, use NC for the soul purpose of bringing back the confident you before you met your ex, then i would confidently agree that NO CONTACT really works.

 

2.) How long does it take until you feel better?

 

it really depends on the person, but if you use NO CONTACT sooner the better you heal faster.

 

3.) How do you regain your self esteem?

 

Self-esteem is the collection of beliefs or feelings that we have about ourselves. How we define ourselves hugely influences our motivations, attitudes, and behaviors

 

all people have different ways to regain self esteem, for me you have to accomplish something really hard to regain self esteem, like our problems with the ex right now, we should learn to have a positive attitude that we can learn to be happy by our own selves

 

4.) Does the fealings you have for that person always stay with you?

 

in my experience it will slowly go away, in time you'll still remember the person but you won't remember the feelings anymore.

 

5.) What happens next?

 

what happens next is up to you, if you choose to stay miserable you'll never be happy again, if you chose to move on then theirs a great chance of being happy again

 

6.) Is it safe to asume that the person who broke up with you really did

not trully love you?

 

i would highly recommend that you should always assume that your ex doesn't truly love you, because if you assume that your ex love's you, then you're in big trouble, you'll be holding on to hope that doesn't really exist.

 

7.) What are we suposed to learn from all this?

 

you should learn by now what you should do (love yourself, stay happy, heal) or not do (beg, plead, being clingy)

 

8.) Why is it so painfull?

 

its painful because we get rejected by the person we strongly love.

 

9.) Sometimes i feel like my world stoped, anyone else feel like that?

 

i feel the same way, we should not hold our life to a relationship that is over, easier said than done, but we really have to move on.

 

 

10.) What are we suposed to do?

 

Learn to practice NC (hardcore)

 

Learn to be happy by yourself again.

 

Learn to be confident.

 

Learn to gain a lot of friends (specially the opposite sex) so that you'll understand their different behaviours

 

Get busy (go to gyms, go on dates)

 

Learn to wear a smile, it helps!

 

Always be positive that things will soon be better for you

 

 

11.) Am i the only one ignoring the hollidays?

 

dont ignore the holidays have fun, even if your faking it, you'll learn to smile again not only in holidays, dont ignore it, learn to enjoy this new freedom you have

[motopilote]

Thanks for the reply. I have more questions.

1) I feel very used, is that normal?

2) I feel like i'l never trust anyone ever again, is that normal?

3) I d'ont feel like anyone will ever love me or want to be with me, is that normal or true?

4) I havent been attracted to anyone since, why?

5) I feel stupid and foolish to have believed her, is that normal?

6) I am starting to think she is very selfish and self centered, is that a normal feeling or is it true? All my friends tell me it is.

7) Sometimes i feel very alone, anyone else feel like that?

8) I wonder how she can be out having a good time, and in mean time my life took a dump, socially and financially, does that make me a looser?

9) looking back, i was happy with myself and my life before i meet this person, and now i feel like crap, anyone else have those thoughts?

10) i d'ont feel like i have anything to offer to anyone is that normal?

11) I feel like all i did whas give, and all she did was take,take and take, and i really did not get anything out of this exept this situation, anyone have that feeling?

[shellybeanb4]

this kind of situations make you a better person, and make you stronger. This also helps you to get the real value of a person. Within time you learn to read people's eyes. I mean whats inside of them. the truth.

It takes a few rocks on the road to get to the OnE.

[motopilote]

I'm just so dam comfused...... I understand motorcycle racing, but as for my ex, she tells me one thing, then the other... i'm wondering if it's all really worth it now....Why should i rebuilt a relation with her, when i could start a new one with someone i could trust.....problem is i'm not attracted to many woman....i wish i could fast forward my life 6 months, to see where i'm going to be... been thinking about going back home, and starting my life over, over there.I just d'ont know what to do, and trieng to figure out what is best for me is not easy....To be honest, i'm tired of starting my life over,and over,and over...will it ever end? as for her, she called me saturday, i was in bad mood, told her to F**K Off, so she strated text mess and calling me every hour...I enjoyed it, i though it was funny... later, she started teasing me on the phone, about coming over and stuff, and i swear the minute i said "so, we going to hang out?" and got weak, she started being a biotch again....and then she called me sunday and cused me out and stuff....man talk about comfused and confusing me...I really think she is cyco...i'm not angry, am not anything at this point, i'm just really amused....i know she is F**king with my head, and i d'ont let it bother me anymore....hard to do, but had to, otherwise, well i would be cyco, and just could not function anymore.... i am very comfused, but time will tell me the truth and heal me, i already feel better than a month ago.....

[motopilote]

Just wanted to tell everyone Merry X-Mas... i'm spending mine with my familly and Jack Daniels...it helps

[FleX]

I just can't wait until riding season is back in full gear. I'm over the girl and I'm itching to ride again! Damn snow...

[motopilote]

Cool man....what you riding? I might go for a ride today, not to cold

[FleX]

I have an EX500 ninja. It's alright but I'm looking to upgrade to a Gixxer, SV650 or CBR in the future.