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motopilote

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Everything posted by motopilote

  1. motopilote
    Cool man....what you riding? I might go for a ride today, not to cold
  2. motopilote
    Just wanted to tell everyone Merry X-Mas... i'm spending mine with my familly and Jack Daniels...it helps
  3. motopilote
    Hey man, i'm sorry to say, but woman turn off their feelings just like a knob, unlike us, for some reason. I wish that she would be upfront with me. I can't imagine just pulling away from someone with no explanation. I would NEVER do that to her. It seems really immature to me. As for that, and trying to find answers, read my post, and you will find i am still searching. Let me give you a little advice i wish i had before i found this web site--->forget about her, and move on...Yeah i know it's hard, going trough it myself everday, but you have to, just like i tell myself....maybe she will come back, and maybe she wont, (i'm still waiting for mine to, after 3 months), but you c'ant do anything about it, so the sooner you move on, the best for you, and i hate to say it, but who knows what tomorow will bring... She never struck me as the 'push/pull' type, so her behavior has me wondering what the heck is going on D'ont try and figure it out, it almost drove me crazy, just have to accept it, and it's very hard to do, but a must Hang tight, work, friends, ect,ect, and try and forget about her. It seams imposible but in time it seams to get better
  4. motopilote
    I'm just so dam comfused...... I understand motorcycle racing, but as for my ex, she tells me one thing, then the other... i'm wondering if it's all really worth it now....Why should i rebuilt a relation with her, when i could start a new one with someone i could trust.....problem is i'm not attracted to many woman....i wish i could fast forward my life 6 months, to see where i'm going to be... been thinking about going back home, and starting my life over, over there.I just d'ont know what to do, and trieng to figure out what is best for me is not easy....To be honest, i'm tired of starting my life over,and over,and over...will it ever end? as for her, she called me saturday, i was in bad mood, told her to F**K Off, so she strated text mess and calling me every hour...I enjoyed it, i though it was funny... later, she started teasing me on the phone, about coming over and stuff, and i swear the minute i said "so, we going to hang out?" and got weak, she started being a biotch again....and then she called me sunday and cused me out and stuff....man talk about comfused and confusing me...I really think she is cyco...i'm not angry, am not anything at this point, i'm just really amused....i know she is F**king with my head, and i d'ont let it bother me anymore....hard to do, but had to, otherwise, well i would be cyco, and just could not function anymore.... i am very comfused, but time will tell me the truth and heal me, i already feel better than a month ago.....
  5. motopilote
    Thanks for the reply. I have more questions. 1) I feel very used, is that normal? 2) I feel like i'l never trust anyone ever again, is that normal? 3) I d'ont feel like anyone will ever love me or want to be with me, is that normal or true? 4) I havent been attracted to anyone since, why? 5) I feel stupid and foolish to have believed her, is that normal? 6) I am starting to think she is very selfish and self centered, is that a normal feeling or is it true? All my friends tell me it is. 7) Sometimes i feel very alone, anyone else feel like that? 8) I wonder how she can be out having a good time, and in mean time my life took a dump, socially and financially, does that make me a looser? 9) looking back, i was happy with myself and my life before i meet this person, and now i feel like crap, anyone else have those thoughts? 10) i d'ont feel like i have anything to offer to anyone is that normal? 11) I feel like all i did whas give, and all she did was take,take and take, and i really did not get anything out of this exept this situation, anyone have that feeling?
  6. motopilote
    I have some questions, would like some feed back. 1) Does no contact really work? 2) How long does it take until you feel better? 3) How do you regain your self esteem? 4) Does the fealings you have for that person always stay with you? 5) What happens next? 6) Is it safe to asume that the person who broke up with you really did not trully love you? 7) What are we suposed to learn from all this? 8) Why is it so painfull? 9) Sometimes i feel like my world stoped,anyone else feel like that? 10) What are we suposed to do? 11) Am i the only one ignoring the hollidays?
  7. motopilote
    Hey man read my post,'g-friend broke up with me want her back'. Get suport from your familly, and friends. I know it's hard, but you have to move on, just like me. Think about this. If they truly loved us, would whe be here today or in their arms...Right...The quicker whe move on, the better for us, and whe can start living again
  8. motopilote
    i AM AFRAID THAT YOU ARE RIGHT.Oh well, her loss. Still made me waiste a year of my life. Maybe i should sue? I give up, not worth it
  9. motopilote
    A update to my daily drama. Well, this morning i text messaged my ex asking if i could call her. To my amazement, she called me right away. After a while on the phone, whe both agreed we could see each other today, whe would meet in the park, downtown. So we meet around 3:30 talk and walk. After a while i said you d'ont have to be here, you can leave, i want to kiss you and you should leave. She kept hanging around, and after a while whe both kissed. Long story short, whe went back to her place and did what commes naturaly to both of us. I did leave and came home, with feels good. It was nice to see her and hold her, man that was great. Whe had a long talk and she told me about her dates, and me about mine. I told her about one i have on tuesday, and she strated to ask me all kinds off questions about it. So in a short form, whe are not back together, but i think she might be having dought although she says we are broken up and stuff. But i am confussed about all this, and i am not sure where it will lead, but right now i feel great. Like i told her when i left, she wanted to ride on my bike, ask your next boyfriends, but really, it was great to see her and hold her in my arms. If someone had told me this would happen to me today yesterday, i would have never believed him. I told her when i left, this is way more then i expected, witch it was, i never dreamed this. I have a fealing she will be calling me real soon. Like i told her while whe were kissing, you drive me crazy, she said you are creazy, i said so are you, and whe both laughted. Wow. What a day. If i play it cool, i might see her again. I have learned one thing during this, if you quit being the persuer, then the persued can relax around you and might enjoy your company. Any thoughts about that?
  10. motopilote
    Here is one thing i started to do. I have a post on here (g-friend broke up with me want her back) it might help you, this was the only way. 1) I do not think about the past anymore, i d'ont question myself, i did not do anything wrong, alsthough i tried for 2 months to figure it out and i drove me insane. 2) I do not think about tomorow, it does not belong to me, and who knows what might happen tomorow. For example, if someone had told me yesterday i would see my ex today and spend 5 hours with her and made out with her and everthing else, i would have said your are crazy. So you just never know what tomorow might bring our way, so why worry about it. 3) I just think about right now, not an hour away, i mean right now, this moment, not 10 minutes away, right now. This helps me cope with things and it does not stress me out anymore. I had my whole life planed and it got taken away, so in this mode of though, i d'ont disapoint myself anymore or set myself up. I have no control over anything exept my life, so why worry. finally, the weekends are tough for me, very hard since i use to spend them with my ex doing things whe both liked to do, but i havent done them since i am afraid of runing into her at those places, and that would be painfull, very much. So mostly i go to my brothers and download music. I have found that music helps me a lot. I d'ont know what the future has for me, but i am starting to feel good about it, or maybe it is because i saw my ex, i d'ont know, i'm a little comfused. But i do those things every day.
  11. motopilote
    naw dude My dad told me the whole time is was growing up, that when i was ready, i should get a prostitute, so i did, and i was ready at 14.
  12. motopilote
    Well, i did what my dad told me to do. I got a prostitute, i was 14 and it was in Spain, i am from europe. I did not feel guilty exept the next day, i was wondering if it was going to have VD, but i felt like a man. So overall it was well worth it.Had an expert.
  13. motopilote
    Oh i forgot, she called my sister Friday, my sister told her i had dates, witch was not true, but i wonder if that is why she called me today. Like i told her 4 times, i did not call you, you called me.. i have a feeling she is going to call in the next 3 days, but i wont answer
  14. motopilote
    Well Havent been in here in a few days, so i thought i would post. My car broke down on me yesterday, the clutch. That was the last thing i needed to happen to me. I also went over my finaNces yesterday, i'm almost bankrupt, c'ant pay my bills. I d'ont know what to do, but i'm not going to worry about it, c'ant do anything anyway. Also my ex called me today, and i answered, that was a mistake, but it felt good to tell her go get what you want and i d'ont care. I do care, but i have serious problems with money right now, c'ant let her drag me down no more. So i have to ride my bike in 40 degress. Nice/ Reminds me off my first divorce, i anded up with my motorcycle and a back pack full of clothes. I was 23 years old, now i am 35. Oh well. On the sunny side i have a date tonight, it is nice to talk to someone who cares about what you say and is interested in you. So i think it will be ok tonight, i am not worryng anymore, i just d'ont care, only so much i can do.Next time she calls i am not answering, she is playing some kinda game with me, and i'm not playing anymore.So here is my news, my life is a disaster, but i feel good right now
  15. motopilote
    you know i really think NC is the way to go. I was just on my way to rcover, and this set me back a couple off weeks. I c'ant do it. I d'ont want to hear from her ever again, unless she wants to say she is sorry or has regrests. I am only human, you know. I feel neither dead or alive, i am just here, like a zombie, and every day i just go though the motions, with nothing planed or nothing happy to expect. The only person that would help me feel better is not with me. I have never felt so alone in my life, even when my parents died. I just c'ant relate to anyone. I had a friend calle me today to see how i was, he said i must be doing good because he had not heard from me in 2 weeks, i said i feel the same, and i d'ont want to bother you with my problem anyone. I feel i am going to loose a lot of friends, but i just c'ant relate to them or feel the need to hear how great things are for them.. In the end i will have to make myself feel better, i just have not found the cure for this sickness. Maybe it will take a year or 2 or whatever, but really they can take they memories and stick them up thier bung hole as far as i am concerned. I have never been so unhapy and for what? Was it worth it? no. had a good time? sure. do i want to feel better? yes, but how. Want to move on? sure but to what? Need to make plans? what plans, mine got taken away d'ont feel the urge to be disapointed anymore. Were do i want ot be? i d'ont know. Do i need another g-friend? not right now, no thank you. I am going to be alone for ever and bitter? i hope not, but probally. Want to deal with all these problems at once? No thank you. Will i ever forget her? No way man, not after this. Do i feel good? yes when i sleep. Do i want anything? no, not worth it. Did i get anything out off this? NO. Any more questions? yes. Does bad karma catch up with you? does really what comes around go around? I sure hope so. can i make it? i guess so. is there a point?
  16. motopilote
    I think i am just sick. I have had cotton mouth for weeks. Anyone have that?
  17. motopilote
    I was sick(stomach) for 6 weeks, i know what you mean. I am just ignoring the holidays, they are not here, i c'ant do that to myself. As far as moving, i have learned that no matter where you are, there you are, so there is no point. I have a nice car two, and 2 motorcycles, but it does not help, my bikes have not run in 1 month, my team mates told me last time i rode one not to get back on till i could focus, so they just sit with all the gear, just like me.Great year, and thanks a lot X, i really apreciate it. Maybe i am turning bitter and sour, i d'ont know and d'ont care
  18. motopilote
    Well i lost 15 pounds since october, so there you go, at least i got that out of the whole year.What a waste of time.
  19. motopilote
    i am so lonelly, she was my best friend
  20. motopilote
    Salut It is not easy, i have never gone trough something this painfull day after day. I hope it never happens again, really not worth it. I never did feel so bad about myself then the last few months, but slowly i say f@@k it and go on. None of us diserved any off this, but i know revenge is being happy later and doing good. At least i hope so.I have seen nothing but good people here, that hapened to hook up with the wrong people,including me
  21. motopilote
    Thank you for caring.Does it really take a year?
  22. motopilote
    I am sorry you got that phone call, it is a great set back. I guess they just use us for they ego, that's all i can figure, and also the guilt, maybe. I d'ont really know. I got a hair cut, and i feel pretty good about myself, i have to say. I am just living in the moment, d'ont think off tomorow, and yesterday does not matter. Change your number tomorow. The bond? what bond? Like my Xgirlfriend if she loved me she would be here, If they was a bond, you would not be here typing, right? Think about it
  23. motopilote
    Actually, i feel great. Whent i saw my therapist, but also did a lot off thinking, but right now i feel great. I decided i c'ant think about if she comes back, if she calls, if if if if. Man i'm going to live my life, you know, plus i think of all the other woamnt out there, and.....well you know....As for her i love her, but i put a lid on all that, i cannot sit here anymore and thinking about it, i have to believe and think it is over, even though she gave me mixed signals on the phone, but eather way i win, if she comes back, great, if i still want it, if she does not, F@@@k her i will meet someone who thinks i am a god. Eather way i win. Here is something i think. She knows she wont find better then me, so she is keeping me on the side lines, that is why she called me. Well, i c'ant do it. Eather all or nothing. Donna, try to keep busy, it is important, i know it is hard, i just tell my sell i am living this moment, this minute, not the next 5, and just concentrate on that, it works most off the time for me, and music always helps. I felt like crap most off the day because off her, i really do not want to talk to her unless something changes, it sets me back. After all, like i asked her on the phone, is this not what you wanted? well she vagely answered, so carefull what you wish for. I just try to stay busy, i go out to my brothers and music, music. Try and make a friend, donna it will help you, or talk to your kids, go for a walk, clean the carpet, anything. I am at the point where she would have to come to my house and beg for me to go back, that is how i feel right now, tomorow is not here, so i c'ant say
  24. motopilote
    I d'ont know what to tell you man, i am not doing such a good job at it, i am in hell, and have been since October. My life stoped. I d'ont know what i'm doing. Nothing has worked, just miss her so much. Most off the time i try and ignore it, but like today, i am caving in. My heart is in so much pain right now. God help me
  25. motopilote
    Help...!!!I had a goodmorning, but then i missed her so much, oh my god, will this ever cease? Please deliver me from this, eather bring her back or cure me once for all. I have been fighting with myself to email her and see how she is doing..just to say hi, i d'ont think she will answer me anyway, but you never know. You really think if they want us back they will let us know? She gave me so many mixed signalls on the phone, i d'ont know where i am. I swore i would have a good day, but i just want to be in her arms. This is very painfull. How long will it take? I would give anything to see her, my god help me
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