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Hopefully this will stop the Breadcrumbs! all week Texts and e-mails!

BigKK

By BigKK
in Breaking Up Advice

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BigKK Collaborator

BigKK

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Thank you! I am not really bothered by them too much, but more annoyed and think less of her with each one. So I came up with the idea, that it's not really helping so I'll just avoid seeing it.

 

I will find the album tonight that she asked about. Maybe the "other things" will include $300 worth of gift cards I guy can dream!

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BigKK Collaborator

BigKK

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NC Broken! Not by me...

 

 

She came by my work after I canceled her from my credit cards and off the bank account today.

 

She was still using the account, and "wanted me to let her know"

 

 

I told her she had till the 15th and waited an extra 15 days to do it.

 

 

It wasn't bad... I'm more dumbfounded. It didn't really hurt or anything, and I was very cold an emotional.

 

 

I repeated what mhowe told for my sister to say.... "I'm fine"

 

Asked her nicely, please don't come by anymore, she agreed, and to not contact me anymore (for the 15th time)

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BigKK Collaborator

BigKK

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For the record, don't EVER put a gf on your credit cards. I thought she had plenty of her own money?

 

Guess you are stuck with the bill?

 

 

I learned a lot in this relationship...

 

No, it's only $400 and she agreed to pay me back, as well as pay back for the deposit.

 

She makes good money, but she lives at the limit of her money. So it will take her some time to "save" that money and give it back to me.

 

Either way, it'll work out. I think it was a good reason to come and see me.

 

 

The first thing she said is "Are you okay? is it Okay to come here?" lol...

 

I answered, I'm fine.

 

I imagined myself still getting very emotional, or later getting very emotional

 

I am honestly unscathed, I wasn't emotional at all, and just taking care of business with her, as if she was a customer of mine. Just acted very professional, with a slight friendly undertone.

 

was a little bummed my NC was broken... but it wasn't by my own accord and I felt I handled it well

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MajinGuu Apprentice

MajinGuu

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You handled it really well man! Don't feel down, you didn't break NC. It wasn't your fault at all.

Keep on like this

 

I had an ex call and say he wanted to see me when HIS dog died...and at the time he had (and still has) a live in gf. I told him he could cry on her shoulder. We had been ex's for 5 years. They will pull anything out of a hat.

Why the hell do people do this? My ex pulled the same stunt last week telling me at night that she felt anxious and needed me to talk to her like... What the hell? You're with someone else remember? Go pester them!

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sharky988 Contributor

sharky988

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NC Broken! Not by me...

 

 

She came by my work after I canceled her from my credit cards and off the bank account today.

 

She was still using the account, and "wanted me to let her know"

 

 

I told her she had till the 15th and waited an extra 15 days to do it.

 

 

It wasn't bad... I'm more dumbfounded. It didn't really hurt or anything, and I was very cold an emotional.

 

 

I repeated what mhowe told for my sister to say.... "I'm fine"

 

Asked her nicely, please don't come by anymore, she agreed, and to not contact me anymore (for the 15th time)

 

 

Your ex is unbelievable!!

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  • 3 weeks later...
BigKK Collaborator

BigKK

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So lately I've been hyper actively social.

 

 

I had a mini-crush on a girl I met. (the first week I met her) I am realizing that I think part of my healing process is my absolute vulnerability. I listened to several members advice, and was told to not hang out alone. This worked, I no longer have feelings for her, but she is one of my new found friends. Myself, her, and my best friend (her neighbor) hang out often and I think the 3 of us are all very happy of our new found friendship. We are very open with each other, and mostly just support each other with encouragement and listening. I won't get into too many details, but I'm very happy for this new "trio" friendship, even though I've known my best friend all of my life.

 

 

I thought I was fine, but I recently hosted a girl from Australia, and we became very close friends, very fast. Just great chemistry. After 1 week of her staying with me, her kindness and attractiveness cracked me...I went from feeling like I found an awesome friend from another country that I couldn't wait to visit, to a girl I'm developing feelings for. I honestly feel crazy for allowing myself to feel like that so quick. I was so busy hosting her, partying with her, dancing, going to the beach, showing her around, talking for hours. I've hardly slept this week, and I think possibly the lack of sleep is also hitting me and making me a tad emotional. I know I will eventually crush the feelings, there is obviously no way of an "us." And I think its just my brain's way of perhaps seeking comfort, and allowing myself to get attached so quickly.

 

 

Lastly, I got a monster 7 part text from my EX-GF and I really have no idea exactly what she wants, but I am considering on posting it, just from a pure "scientific" standpoint and out of curiosity if anyone could decode the madness.

 

 

 

My last "update," I have been going out to bars lately and clubs. I am not drinking really much, but mostly dancing. I keep being told I am a great dancer, but I am "too into myself" and dance too crazy to allow girls to join me. I am mostly going for fun, and not really looking right now for relationships (obviously) and not really actively looking for one night stands either. Although I will admit, it's been since my initial breakup, and it'd be nice from a pure "guy"-ish basic instincts standpoint. Also perhaps for my own EGO so that you can tell yourself "okay cool, others are attracted to me, not just my ex"

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BigKK Collaborator

BigKK

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Re: the hosting chick. Add your trio to it --- you are subconsciously "seeking"...and not ready at the same time.

So, do what you did with the early chick...who is now a friend. Add more people to the mix.

 

Yeah, post the diatribe.

 

I actually did add my trio to it, and we were a lethal combination of laughs. What caught me was, the other 5 days we spent most of the evenings on our own. I am definitely seeking, how do I stop, no one-on-one's?

 

 

 

Oh and I guess it wasn't as big as I thought, this was sent at 10pm one night, and I am not sure if its just a drunk text? Texts look so much more giant on phones...

 

"Hi, there are a few things i would like to say to you in person. I wanted to tell you the last time we were together when we were closing the account but the thought of saying anything to you brought me to tears.

 

I hope not to be a big baby start the water work so I hope that one of these days you can make time for me, few things I wanted to write down and send her a card email but I would prefer to if that's okay with you

 

Maybe it is too soon, just reading your text message to me all watery eyes

 

I would prefer to say in person, is with the previous text was supposed to say. Goodnight"

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mhowe Proficient

mhowe

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Yes, avoid one on ones....if it is nite time --- don't do "date" type stuff. It is a crush...it is not love.

 

No tickling, no overly flirty --- sit in a chair, not side by side on the couch. You get the drift.

 

As to your ex, jeesh. Part of me says ignore --- and yet, it clearly doesn't phase her.

 

So, the other part says, send a text:

 

Got your text. Honestly, I have nothing more to say w/ regard to our past, and nothing you say changes anything.

Be well.

 

What do you think?

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BigKK Collaborator

BigKK

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Yeah I was reading up on it, sounds like I'm seeking some romantic attention since I'm missing that. I was doing everything you listed, and then some!

 

Yes, avoid one on ones....if it is nite time --- don't do "date" type stuff. It is a crush...it is not love.

 

No tickling, no overly flirty --- sit in a chair, not side by side on the couch. You get the drift.

 

As to your ex, jeesh. Part of me says ignore --- and yet, it clearly doesn't phase her.

 

So, the other part says, send a text:

 

Got your text. Honestly, I have nothing more to say w/ regard to our past, and nothing you say changes anything.

Be well.

 

What do you think?

Yeah, I think it sounds good. I'm gonna sit on it maybe for one more day and just respond. Possibly change the wording a snag. But that's what I was thinking. I am all about "No Contact" but this is getting ridiculous!

 

 

Why did your ex break up with you? How long did it take you to get to where you are? Your an inspiration. No weak moments? How do you do that?

 

She broke up because I withdrew from the relationship, she started getting mean to me, I called her out, and found out that my rosey relationship wasn't how I really saw it. Was a little bit in shock, and told her I needed space. I'm sure we can go deeper, but that's what I see it as now. I think subconsciously I was pulling out of the relationship, she was never great at communicating her feelings with me and I think I got tired with pulling it out of her. To add fuel to the fire, the last 2 months or so, her mom moved in without letting me know that she will be. And slept on our couch. Whenever I approached the subject about longevity of her stay I would be met with tears. So I just left it alone, slowly kept withdrawing, and assumed her behavior was due to her mom. (since she would cry everytime I asked her)

 

Weak moments? Of course, in the beginning before ENA and a friend's friend hammered it into my head that I have to stop responding to her. I was an emotional wreck.

 

I went no contact, and started finding the old-me (but better and wiser) again. A lot of soul searching. Working on being healthy, eating healthier, exercising quite a bit. Keeping life interesting and fun. All things I think I was slowly slipping and not doing.

 

Thanks for saying that. I am just trying, part of me feels like maybe she wasn't right if I feel so "OK" and usually I've been feeling absolutely amazing. I'm rekindling old friendships. I tried to rekindle my relationship with my EX when we went on a very very short break. I showered her with kindness. I don't do that to her anymore, I do it to strangers I meet, I do it to my family, I do it to my friends. Even simple things like smiling, saying hello, and offering a hand. It's remarkable what it creates, I've been trying to create this tornado of positivity. I am also very analytical (read: over-analytical) of myself and my interactions. So if anything I try to draw reasoning for why things are the way they are. I am learning to not get carried away with it...sometimes people, or things, just don't make sense.

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fwdthinker Enthusiast

fwdthinker

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I may be missing something... But if you were emotionally pulling out of the relationship while still "together," the other usually can sense that and it's quite painful. And you said you were reacting to her not being open with you... So it sounds like you were both reacting to the same thing, both feeling betrayed or at least disappointed by the other... But never really talked it out? I'm not sure who left whom. What did you really want? Did you want to work it out? Or did you want it to be over?

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