violent partner

[akm12345]

I was in a relationship with my partner for 3 years until i plucked up the courage to leave him last october we spilt for seven months and i stupidly took him back i am know in the position where i have had to throw him out again as he has been violent again this is the first violent scene since we got back together but the first time we were together the violence was awful.

 

The relationship has never been good hes hit me to a point my face isnt recognisable, smashed my possessions up, mentally abused me saying i was fat, ugly and will never do better than him, been abusive in front of my daughter. i took him back after the seven months believing it would all be different and its not

 

I know myself that i dont want to be with him but i am so frightened that he will make me pay for finishing it in the ways he did before he broke into my house twice and really hurt me and wrecked my whole house. i need peoples advice so bad will he ever really change?? he always blames it on alcohol for the reason he acts that way but he still calls me awful things when he hasnt even drunk??

 

i dont want to tell my family its happened again?

where can i get the strength from to be alone again?

im so scared of the effects this will have on my daughter if i dont do something now.

[JJ2980]

Move. Get away. You have a daughter to think about and you need to protect yourself. What a scary situation to be in! No one but no one deserves what he's put you through during the course of your relationship. Draw the strength from wherever you need to. My biggest incentive would be my child. What would you say or do if she grew up and experienced the same abuse? Children learn through the actions of their parents more than they do through anything they say.

[Perplexingana]

Call the domestic violence hotline they are open 24/7 to help you and it's free. They can give you counseling referrals and talk to you about it. Most importantly know there is always help out there and the things he has done to you are not your fault. Do everything in your power to safely get away from this man.

[chitown9]

I think that you should get a restraining order. His he living in your house or are you living in his house? chi

[akm12345]

It's been 2 days now since I made him leave and I live in my own house. But I just have so many horrible feelings now, alone, nobody will want me, afraid, not good enough. I don't know what else to do. The last thing I want to do is go back again

[Seraphim]

No ,he won't ever change ever. That is not going to happen. So erase that from your mind.

Get a restraining order right now. Also I would recommend that you AND your daughter go to domestic abuse therapy. I can tell you your daughter has already been affected. When I was six years old I remember being a passenger in a car that my father was using to try and run over my mother. I am 46 years old so this happened 40 years ago. I STILL remember that day. So don't have it in your mind that your daughter hasn't been affected up until now. Watching your mother get smashed to oblivion and having your things broken is absolutely terrifying for a child. Don't let this happen to you and don't let this happen to your daughter. Right now immediately this minute call a domestic abuse hotline. Get some help for you and your daughter. Getting back together with him would be teaching her that domestic abuse is perfectly okay.

 

You absolutely WILL find somebody who loves you. Please help yourself and your daughter and make that call right now.

[akm12345]

Making me feel a lot better about things talking on here wish I would of joined a long time ago.

[Seraphim]

Don't ever accept his twisted thinking. You are lovable. You are pretty. You are worthwhile. You are a survivor! So now make that call and get that help for you and your daughter. Survivors fight back. And how you fight back is by living well for you and your child. You can do this!

[iamkaylee]

Don't ever accept his twisted thinking. You are lovable. You are pretty. You are worthwhile. You are a survivor! So now make that call and get that help for you and your daughter. Survivors fight back. And how you fight back is by living well for you and your child. You can do this!

 

Yes! A thousand times yes! Many of us here have done it. You can too.

 

Make the call. Set your mind that you're NOT letting him back and you'll do whatever it takes to keep him out of your lives. If he shows up, you call the police. Get a restraining order. Don't ever believe the things he tells you about changing or being better. Nothing. It's all lies. Keep coming here. You can talk about anything and it does help.

[akm12345]

It's just so hard the nights are the most difficult when my daughter goes to bed start to feel lonely then and think back.

[Seraphim]

You just need to get used what peace is. You have been so used to drama that you think it's normal. Peace is what is actually normal. You don't need drama in your life. You don't need a man to create drama. There are good loving men out there that don't create crap and abuse you. To find one of these men you have to heal what has happened to you in your life. While you have your present thinking what you will most likely find is another man or the same man that create drama and abuse. So please choose to heal yourself and have peace. You're not really missing him you are just missing someone. Anyone just to be there. That is a part of the thinking you have to get rid of.

[Perplexingana]

Hopefully you've already called but I meant to put the number in my post for you it's 1−800−799−SAFE(7233). Please call for you and your daughter. It is one of the best things you can do for yourself.