No Contact - DAY 60

[skynet74]

Day 60! Wow.... that seems so long. It's hard not to count the weeks and the days when you were in a very long relationship. I spent 10 years of my life with someone I truly loved. Unfortunately things sometimes fall apart. Totally Her idea to break up. She did it about a week before Christmas last year. Talk about bad timing. She was seeing another guy behind my back. I caught her on the phone with him and that was pretty much the end. She claimed that he was just a friend. But I later found out different.

 

Moral of the story is.... "When your significant other tells you that they arn't leaving you for another person but are leaving to clear their head or to find themselves" just remember that this is the biggest line of BullFunky in the world! There is almost always another person waiting in the wings. People usually don't leave relationships to go and be by themselves. They typically stay in the relationship until someone else comes along to take YOUR place. That's just the way it usually works.

 

Anyway..... today is Day 60 since I last spoke to the Ex. When we last spoke back on September 25th she was Cold hearted and rude as usual. I tried so hard to maintain a friendship with her. However Actions speak louder than words. It was obvious that what I wanted wasn't going to happen. This year she has been on a narrow track where it seems that her main focus has been just to get rid of me. Sad but true.

 

Tomorrow would have been our 11th Thanksgiving together. I anticipate on feeling pretty damn sad when we arn't sharing Turkey together. It not only hurts being away from her.... but it's also hard to be away from her family who I love dearly. When she left me I not only lost my lover, but I also lost a Best friend and an entire extended family. there are just so many things about what happened that don't seem right. However I am slowly adjusting Day by Day.

 

Today I met a very sweet Girl where I shop. She works there and mentioned how she's noticed me before. Apparently she's had her eye on me. She's both bubbly and Beautiful. I had a friend with me who later said ......"Wow that girl seemed to really like you. She was hitting on you."

Well that made me feel pretty good since I also felt the same vibe. I could tell that there was some kind of interest and (or) attraction there. I was kind of caught off guard at the time, so I did not exchange numbers or anything like that. But I plan on making a stop in tomorrow to see if there is anything to this. My Holidays may not be so lonely afterall. We will see.

 

 

 

John

[Celadon]

Hey John - I hope everything works out for you! It's great to have a new interest, isn't it? It helps us to look forward, not backward.

 

And good for you for letting go of the ex, one day at a time. It's hard, but you're doing it. Hope your Thanksgiving is nice, and filled with gratitude.

[skynet74]

Hey....... thanks very much for the well wishes. This forum has really helped me through some rough times. Finding you guys will be one of the things I am most Thankful for on this Thanksgiving. Even after I find a new relationship, I'm sure that I will still lurk and offer some advice from time to time. I will never forget those of you who have helped me through the most difficult year of my life. So Thanks again and Happy Thanksgiving to all of you!

 

 

John

[hockeyboy]

curious...do you find it harder because you know exactly how many days its been? anyway you could stop that or is there an automatic ticker in your head?

 

for me...its nice cause my ex of 4 years...i cant remember the last time i saw her..cant remember when/where/why. I remember the last time i talked to her, but dont know when it is.

 

when i initiated nc with the current ex (which she eventually broke) i did not take note of the day...so i did not know exactly how many days it had been or anything like that. i think that helps.

[trishcollins]

I don't know why we do it hockeyboy, but I guess it makes us feel like we have accomlished something. That we have somehow survived this long and we can keep going. Eventually (and I am speaking from my own experience here), I know that I will stop referring to the N/C in days, and it will be months (I am doing that now), and that eventually I will drop it altogether, and hopefully like you, be hardpressed to remember when I last communicated with my "ex".

 

I guess we all need to get through the "firsts" before we are truly over. The "first" Christmas, Easter, birthday (yours and your "exes"), and the all important anniversary. Once we have realized we can survive without them, it becomes less important as to how long. I also know from experience, that the bad memories will fade, and you will only have fond memories of the fun times together. Mind you, that takes a long time, sometimes years.

 

Anyway, all that to say that if counting helps you cope, then count away.

[hockeyboy]

hey...whatever works best. every person is different. i personally couldnt count 60 days...i'd go crazy counting those day by day. 60 days of non counting on the other hand...i could deal with.

 

i know what you mean about accomplishing something. but, at the same time, i feel accomplished because i can't remember..if that makes sense. i feel like i accomplished something by doing that.

[petitemarie]

i must say that is really incredibel that you manage to be ok, what do you do to keep from contacting your ex? i really wouldlove to know, how do you deal with the anger? does it really go away? Im stuck on a business trip in an isolated place, alone and i still have a long tim ehere to stick out, i am tryingo figure out how you so it when you dont have the friends and family around you that can be useful distractions. but in your care after 10 years? wow, i hold my glass to you, and i woud love to know your sectret from going into depression, how many months did it take veofre you can be ok?

[toughgoing]

I envy you. I dream of the day I'm at day 60. Let us know how it turns out with the new girl. Remember, not a word about the ex to the new girl.