Meeting up as friends?

[huirhg]

I called him on thursday after 2 weeks no contact.He called me back and said that he didnt think we could still be friends because he felt anxious and upset whenever he talked to me.I got upset because when he broke up with me he was the one who insisted on being friends.I started crying and told him that he had really hurt me and it felt like our relationship meant nothing to him and that he was cutting me out of his life completley.

He then started crying and apologized saying that this was just really hard for him and that he was sorry and took everything he had said in the conversation back and said it was a rash deciion and he did want to be friends? I said ok and he asked me to meet him on friday to have a fun time out as friends?

Im just rreally confused.. could he still have feelings for me?(when he broke up with me he was crying and said he didnt want to break up he was just really stressed but still loved me?this was a month ago) But he said he doesnt have feelings now? He does know i still love him though and that i want to get back together.

Im just really confused and dont know how to act on friday ?

Thanks

[Shane Falco]

No, he doesn't have feelings for you right now and meeting as friends two weeks later is a horrible idea, as you are clearly not ready to see him as a friend and not a romantic partner and he has clearly not recovered from his role in the break either. I would cancel this meeting and continue to be in NC. This is way too soon and is going to be awkward at best and emotionally dramatic at worst.

[HeartGoesOn]

He does know i still love him though and that i want to get back together.

 

This is all the more reason not to meet him, as all this will to is prolong the agony, and give you false hope, as well.

[Doc Blaze]

You guys arent on the same page...this meeting up can actually make you feel worse than before....

[Furbys]

I think you should reconsider. You are meeting up with him with the hope of reconciliation whereas he just wants to be friends and nothing more. You will come away from your meeting feeling more confused, you will over analyse everything he does or says and you will just feel more rubbish.

[metrogirl]

Im curious, why did you guys break up?

 

And for the record, it's not a good idea to meet up with someone as 'friends' when clearly you are still pining for him.

[huirhg]

We were both very stressed about different things and it took the fun out of our relationship.I get what you guys are saying but i really think he still has feelings for me , its like i just know. Neither of us wanted to break up and i think that being friends for now is the best thing to do. I know theres no gaurantee of anything happening but i think its worth a shot.Besides we were best friends anyway and always got on great

[DylanNotorious]

He's holding on to you even after he dumped you. Kind of like a life-raft. But he will disappear when he meets someone new, and you will feel stupid.

[Shane Falco]

We were both very stressed about different things and it took the fun out of our relationship.I get what you guys are saying but i really think he still has feelings for me , its like i just know. Neither of us wanted to break up and i think that being friends for now is the best thing to do. I know theres no gaurantee of anything happening but i think its worth a shot.Besides we were best friends anyway and always got on great

 

You are walking into a buzzsaw. This will end badly.

[sharky988]

You are walking into a buzzsaw. This will end badly.

 

Agreed.

 

OP, if neither of you wanted to break up, you'd still be together.

[pandorasbox1]

I think you should maybe step away from the forum for a while. After 3 weeks nc and 3 months post break up, my ex and I are in contact again. We both have feelings still and have confessed as much. I think you know what's right for you in the mean time and I think you know when you are/ will be ready to walk away for good.

 

I've stopped asking for advice here because I find it results in more confusion than there needs to be. In my heart I know I want to be contact with my ex and give this a shot, even if nothing comes of it. I don't want to have any regrets.

 

So my advice, do what you feel is right for you. Be cautious and know there is a strong possibility you will get hurt. You have to just decide if that hurt is worth it or not. I totally get where you are coming from. But just ride this wave out with some caution please. I am in exactly the same position and its hard when people here tell you not to do something because they really don't know you, your ex or the dynamics of your relationship from a bar of soap. Yes, advice can be helpful, but in this case, go with your instincts... Your feelings, what you feel is right.

 

I think he does still care for you a lot. People break up for a number of reasons. I think that you should just change your approach though. As much as you still have feelings for him, I don't think you should openly declare that. Gauge his actions when you see him. You'll know how he really feels then.

[pandorasbox1]

Also know that if there is a chance at reconciliation that it might only happen a long way down the road. You need to be open to the possibility that it isn't an overnight thing. Both parties need to change and re-examine themselves before they start a new relationship together. So don't be too eager for a reconciliation. Step back and take a good look at yourself, and him. See where improvements need to be made and start working on improving yourself

[catfeeder]

He's saying he's out because dealing with you causes him anxiety, and you push him for friendship so soon?

 

I hope it works out for you, and I guess all you can do is demo that you can see him without adding pressure to his cooker.