Boyfriend had panic attack- Is it wrong if I go out without him?

[Zanetka]

My boyfriend of 3.5 years has some anxiety issues. We have been through our ups and downs but after a 5 month breakup we've been very happy these last 2 months. We were even planning a trip together this summer. On Monday he experienced a panic attack (something he hasnt felt in 4 years he says) and its been continuing since MOnday night... he had another last night and has been depressed and crying alot. He is too unwell to leave his house because hes having trouble breathing and chest pains and emotions.

We had plans to go out to a bar with my cousins and sister Friday night and he really shouldnt go in the state hes in. We both very rarely go out and my sister has recently turned 19 so she wants to experience "nightlife". Is it wrong if I go with my cousins tomorrow night?

I know he will not have fun tomorrow and he will likely have an outburst or something. Im not sure what to do because we dont know very much about panic attacks or his anxiety because he refuses to see a doctor to get help.

 

Is it wrong if I go alone with my cousins? Or should I just stay home? We dont live together so I wont be with him anyways.. Thank you!

[metrogirl]

Why won't he get help?

[Zanetka]

This is his first panic attack in 4 years so he's afraid to go. He's been to counselling for anxiety in the past and his temper has lessened and he's been happier lately. But I think the reason he's afraid to get help is because when he was 16 he had a brain tumour and went through some horrific pain and surgeries and he's been forever traumatized of going to the doctor's.

[DN]

If you didn't have plans to be with him on Friday regardless of this, then there is no reason you should not go. But if you flake on plans you had with him then you had better make sure he is OK with that, and I mean really OK with it, not just saying so.

[Heather Dawn]

1. You wouldn't be with him on Friday, anyway

 

2. He's chosen not to get help, so that's not your problem

 

3. You're very young (I'm assuming, as you have a 19yo sister), and you can't miss out on fun every time it presents itself just because your boyfriend has panic attacks

[Zanetka]

Thanks everyone! I went, and everything went fine He's going to the doctors tomorrow because he's been incredibly sick for 6 days now!! (Definitely not just a panic attack..)