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Is the holiday the best time to break NC?

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I've been thinking since i haven't spoke to my ex for so long, that maybe with the holiday coming up, it will be a great excuse to contact him again, i feel like i've healed enough to do this without getting hurt. and i' m really not expecting to get back together or anything like that, but i would love to say hi once more. maybe send him a postcard or something. what do you think? do you think it would be a great time for me or should i just leave him alone? i really miss him as this friend. (not just a lover he were to me)

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If you are ready to handle such a thing then some sort of informal contact would be okay. However you need to insure that you are ready for that. I also wouldnt expect anything back and to be honest you dont want to be giving anything back. This is one of those situations that can cause damage to the growth that you have done since the break up or if you are ready for something friendly if you can handle that.

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Don't contact during the holidays. It will only undo all the healing that you've had up to now. Then you will be guaranteed to have a miserable holiday.


I am with Day_Walker, must disgaree with Avman.


If you are healed, you are healed. If you are not healed, then you could be taking steps backwards. Must know if you are ready to handle the contact. Must know that if they call on the phone,say thanks, Happy Holidays and hang up, you'll be OK enough to hang up without begging them to come back.

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Write a list of people in your life that you would like to contact on Christmas or any other holiday. This includes family members that you have not seen in a long time, friends, teachers that touched your life, neighbors, old people that you worked with, anybody significant in your life that you would want to share your holiday with. Make sure to include people that make you laugh and people that understand you.


Put your ex at the bottom of this list.


On the holiday, start at the top of the list and work your way down. I have a feeling that you won't reach the bottom...


I guess it makes the saying, "My ex is the last person that I would call" and puts it into reality.

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I am sending a gift to my ex. I am sending it to her sister who evidently according to my ex is "rooting for me". This is a very personal gift for her to wear when she graduates nursing school. the pin that denotes her training and education.....You see, i helped her emotionally and financially to get into nursing school. these are things i bought before we broke up. ultimately, i am on no contact with her and will not have any other contact (even if she calls regarding the gift) until I am ready...well after the new year.....the only thing that will bring be back any quicker to her is if her "switch" turns back on.

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