For the girls....How much can you take?

[Silvi]

hiya everyone on the forum, hope your all alright,

 

ok well i'll get straight to my question.

 

what does it take for a girl to break up with there boyfriend? like how much can you take?

 

its just that there is a girl i like but she has a boyfriend, obviously im not gonna try to break them up but she opened up to me and said that her boyfriend constantley lets her down and disappoints her, for example he said to her that he cant meet up with her cos he's tired from whatever it was he was doing the night before but then he goes and meets up with his mates and she see's them. i was just wondering how she can take it!?

 

anyway thanks for any answers in advance, oh and sorry if this question has been asked before.

 

bye....

[defygravity]

Well, it's hard to say because it depends both on the girl's patience and how often her boyfriend does this...I've been in her position before and although I gave him a chance to change, I eventually got sick of it and broke up with him...It just depends...sorry I can't help you any more without knowing any more...does he do this to her often? has she talked to you about it? are you good friends with her?

[Silvi]

she doesnt talk about it, its just once we were chatin and she mentioned it, she seemed upset while she was talking about it. i wouldnt say that were good friends cos i haven't known her for too long, but we were talkin about past bf and gf and she just felt like telling me.

 

anyone else?

[mahlina]

She can only handle so much. If he consistantly takes her for granted, then eventually, she'll get fed up and walk away. Some women give their man several chances, before they realize that that person's just not the one for them. They figure, "If he's the one for me, then why do I feel this way? Why does he leave me feeling worse than I did, prior to when the relationship began?" See, with some women, they realize these things early on.

 

I think that sooner or later, she will walk out on this guy, mainly because he seems so nonchalant about her. If he's not investing the same amount of effort that she's putting into this relationship, then she will lose her interest in him too. Relationships are really about reciprocating. If one partner doesn't treat the other the right way, then eventually, there isn't really a true relationship to build on anyway. That relationship's built on unstable ground. For any healthy relationship to happen, both partners will show each other mutual interest. It's all about maintaining a balance of interest on both parties. That's important for any healthy/happy relationship to occur.

[Silvi]

i get what your saying, but she's a really laid back and down to earth kinda person, sometimes it seems like she doesnt have a care in the world.

 

do you think that her being so laid back will effect her chioces? like will she be more patient with him or wont this make a difference?

[mahlina]

Okay, I'm laid back as well. But when my ex took me for granted, partied, did a couple of things to make me distrust him, he cheated once, I got tired of it, and grew apart from him. We were together for 4 years, the last year on and off, mainly because I couldn't handle the drama anymore.

 

I only stuck it through, because I wanted to help guide his life in the right direction. I saw that his future was going down the hole, especially when he resorted to taking substances when he met these friends. Me being the person who cared and loved him, I got him to change his habits. I encouraged him to finish school, and change his life. I was really patient with him. I gave him my all. But, in the end, little things like him partying, drinking, getting drunk, really told me that his actions didn't take me seriously. I wanted a guy who took me serious, not someone who was into the party scene. That means that his actions should communicate this as well. Throughout those years, what he did, really hurt me. In the end, when he did change, I fell out of love, mainly because he wasn't the person that I wanted to love in the first place. I wanted someone loyal, serious, and had his life together. But that wasn't who he was to begin with. I got tired of always being there, and him not recognizing me for it.

 

So, yes, she will grow sick of his behavior, if he continues on mistreating her. With women, we are loyal to our man, but when they hurt us one too many times, we walk away.

[gersanos]

Relationships are about give & take, and like was mentioned, there has to be reciprocation, and a balance. LOL, they are really complex to breakdown. Both people need to spend time together and with their friends. They're independent, yet come together to form one person. If a guy isn't making time for a girl, then that is definitely something to break up over if there's a pattern that is not justified in their eyes. I know for myself if a girl I was dating kept going out with friends or making excuses for me when I want to spend time with her, I would say good bye to her if I noticed a pattern. In the early stages it's easy to pick up on whether this is going to work out or not, plus if your into someone your going to make time for them.

 

It gets difficult when things get serious, like once a couple has been through a bunch together, has been together for a while, and one decides to break it off. I guess there can be a million different reasons why, and it depends on the person. Many I've heard are absolutely ridiculous, but they're still reasons. Remember, no relationship is perfect and there won't always be the best of times. I've noticed too many relationships that people just break up over small stuff and never give a relationship a real chance to develop. I've been guilty of this plenty when I was younger, and more recently I've been on the receiving end.

[Silvi]

thanks for the help,