Dating an Addict

[sadpup]

I don't even know why I'm posting this. Hoping if I do it will hurt less. Fell in love and lived with someone for a year. Several months in they stole money x2. When confronted they told me it was a gambling problem. I gave them another chance because they said they were getting help and quit. Past weekend found my grandmother's wedding ring and my deceased Mom's gold jewelry missing. She is out. After talking to people and starting to piece things together I now know it was drugs.

 

It all breaks my heart. The annihilation of trust, the confusion about whether or not the person ever loved me (not that it matters). I really did love them. It hurts really bad. My Mom's and Grandmom's items were priceless to me. Heartbreaking. Just major loss all around. The house feels so empty and I feel so alone. I'm not a kid. I'm in my 40's. Too old for this stuff at this stage of the game.......

[Live-N-Learn]

Why are you dating unhealthy men?

[sadpup]

Didn't know they were an addict. Hindsight is always 20/20. Probably have my own issues that I need to get a better handle on. Definitely not something I would set out to do intentionally.

[SpottiOtti]

Oh, I'm so sorry that this happened to you. Don't beat yourself up; you gave someone a fair chance and that's not easy to do, especially as we get older and sometimes more jaded about relationships. This is your ex's fault for being a thief and a liar, not yours for choosing them to try and create a relationship with.

 

I hope you can get your Mom's and Grandma's jewelry back. Have you made a police report and looked at local pawn shops, or anything like that?

[Fudgie]

How long did you date before moving in?

 

I'm surprised you didn't catch on earlier if you lived with them. Drug issues are pretty hard to hide from people you live with. There's always red flags.

[sadpup]

Don't know maybe we believe what we want sometimes. Told me it was a gambling problem which was more palatable than drugs. I believed that foolishly. We had a lot of mutual acquaintances who only after the fact told me some eye opening facts. Maybe it is partly because as we get older it is harder to meet someone and when you do meet someone who has so many endearing qualities you overlook or forgive some of the flags. Never again though. I do think I am going to talk to a therapist to take a look at my own self.

[Ms Darcy]

I would have dumped him after he stole from me the first time. Maybe you should keep that in mind for the future.