convince me that sending this text is a bad idea

[Live-N-Learn]

I'm not saying relationships ate equal. Of course they rarely are, most are able to see past the emotions and value the importance of close friends.

 

I disagree. Most are not able or do not desire friendship after a breakup. I know very few ex's that have close friendships with their past partners. I could list a number of reasons why this is usually not a good idea.

[FreeFallFeelin]

I think this post of yours answers some questions. Not to criticize you, but it sounds like you may be a bit of a control freak. I may be completely wrong, so I've quoted and bolded the statements that seem to elude to this.

 

You can stipulate, demand, write a contract or whatever you want when you start a relationship with someone, but at the end of the relationship their going to do whatever they want. It's their choice. That's something that not only is not yours to fix, but something you cannot fix. If they walk away, all you can do is give them the space they so desire.

 

For most people, trying to transition to just being "friends" after being so close is just too painful and too awkward. It doesn't matter how you try to rationalize it, it just isn't worth it for most people. Plus, like I said before - 'new partner' won't want you around! I promise.

 

You can see that this is probably the case for your ex. She either doesn't want or can't have a friendship with you now. I would leave it be.

 

 

 

 

 

I disagree. I've always stayed friends with exes and I always stipulate near that start of relationships that whatever we will always be friends. I don't date people who I don't think I could be friends if the relationship was strictly platonic.

 

unfortunately, this time it didn't work out which is why I'm eager to fix it. I think in most cases, if you genuinely liked each other, you should always stay friends. It's a lonely world out there and I always think it's silly to just accept you'll never see someone again just because the sexual part of the relationship didn't work out.

[Slow Club]

Actually, like with most of my other exes, they were happy to become friends. Perhaps not immediately after the BU but my latest ex definitely wanted to stay friends. I just ruined that opportunity.

 

I find it strange that so many are averse to friendship after a relationship. The only time I see this not working is if you weren't friends before you got together.

[Slimpee]

I think that trying to remain close to an ex immediately after breaking up is next to impossible.

 

I do think it can work if both parties are mature and understand that the relationship just isn't the right one for them and neither party has hurt feelings. But other than that, I think that it's often the result of one of the people hoping that by remaining friends, it'll go back to a romantic relationship and thus stunts recovery.

 

If time passes, however, it could work.