Liberty1 Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I was on here last night at the point of breaking no contact but today i wrote out an email and had my finger on the send button (on my ipad) but visions of everyone on here saying dnt break no contact kept running through my mind... Its only day 5 but been split up nearly 2 weeks.. If he wanted me he would be reaching out n hes not so **** him lol.... Just cant believe how close i was to having to start over.. I kno its only 5 days but id rather be at day 5 then day 1 again... What an idiot i cant believe it lol.. This site is good... Ive had a weak couple days though hope to regain strength again.. Anyone else feeling weak about now? Link to comment
Edmund Exley Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Start over what? There is no timeline to moving on. Stop counting the days, its counterproductive to healing Link to comment
Liberty1 Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 Bit of a harsh response there, If i had broke NC i woulda been back at day 1 of the healing process its a fact.. Chill out.. N somethings are easier said then done.. Youve just actually made me feel a bit **** i came here to feel better not worse .. Like i said been 5 days not like 5 weeks allow me a week at least Link to comment
R32 Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Hi Liberty, Well done for refraining and you're not alone, I've had a few good days but today has been tough. Not sure why, it's just seemed harder today. Me and you are in the same position with regards to timeframes so yes I understand and I'm feeling weak today too, I think it may be to do with the weekend approaching and also the fact that I'm heading home tomorrow and it will be all around me then.! Just keep focused and keep going.! Link to comment
Liberty1 Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 Thank you so much R32 it is hard.. Its getting easier especially coming on here... Just really glad i didnt hit sent.. Woulda regretted it badly.. Thank you for ur reply.. I hope the weekend isnt too bad for you and thank u for support Link to comment
matti Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Start over what? There is no timeline to moving on. Stop counting the days, its counterproductive to healing I agree. I couldn't even tell you how many literal days I've been in NC. I can say however, that it's in the vicinity of 2-3 months. Then again, I did have to talk to her about a month ago, pertaining to logistical information. It lasted maybe a total of 5 texts, then went back to NC. I could sit here and say, "oh no... I have to start over now!" or I can just continue on with my life, as if it never happened. I chose the latter, because it seemed to be the most productive. Link to comment
Liberty1 Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 Well for me its been 5 literal days only which is no time at all.. I feel im entiled to feel a little ata loss or i wouldnt be human n the main point is i never broke NC .. If im sitting here in 5 weeks sayin oh no i broke NC i have to start again then id take them comments on board in a positive way.. But im not it hasnt even been a week ... Not appriciating the negitive remarks when really theres no need for them.. Its been 5 days n i am carrying on... For me stickin to NC was a big deal but a couple comments here are counterproductive actually.. Should stick to post point which was directed at people who are feeling weak.. Not people who wanna pick out negitives Link to comment
SapphireNoir10 Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 I don't think anyone was trying to be negative. Just realistic. It is a public forum where people will all have their own opinions on certain matters. Well done for sticking to NC for 5 days. At first you do count the days. I used to, you know your getting somewhere when you think 'what day of NC am i on?!' and then you think 'I don't care!' 2 weeks in, it still fresh. He knows where you are if he wants you back. No contact is really the best healing tool. Normally if you contact them they either don't reply or reply with something you don't want to hear. so it ends up hurting more! Link to comment
DonDraper32 Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Congrats Liberty. I'm on just day 2 of NC and struggling, so I can't tell you how jealous I am that you've made it to five. Me and my ex have been apart of two months, and the most we've gone NC for is 6 days (with a plan to talk after those 6 days). I've tried to initiate NC before, but it never lasted more than 3 (she broke it every time). On Wednesday I drove an hour and a half to see her, knowing something needed to change. Obviously I was hoping it would make her want to be with me, but her seeing me confirmed to her she's lost her feelings for me. Now we're back in NC, and this time, she's for real about it. As opposed to the past when I knew she'd text me and hoping she wouldn't, now I know she won't. I know I'm rambling on about my own problems, but what I'm trying to say is congrats on five days. It's tougher and longer than most people realize. Keep it up. Just imagine how proud you'll feel in 10, 15, or even 30 days. Link to comment
matti Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Well for me its been 5 literal days only which is no time at all.. I feel im entiled to feel a little ata loss or i wouldnt be human n the main point is i never broke NC .. If im sitting here in 5 weeks sayin oh no i broke NC i have to start again then id take them comments on board in a positive way.. But im not it hasnt even been a week ... Not appriciating the negitive remarks when really theres no need for them.. Its been 5 days n i am carrying on... For me stickin to NC was a big deal but a couple comments here are counterproductive actually.. Should stick to post point which was directed at people who are feeling weak.. Not people who wanna pick out negitives I understand where you're coming from. Just trying to point you in the right direction. You may not realize it now, but believe it or not, it's the responses that you don't want to hear/read that tend to be the most helpful. I've been there. In fact, we've all been in the same or a similar boat. No disrespect intended my friend. Anyways, back to the subject. Weakness comes in waves. One day you'll feel strong enough to make it through and the next you might feel a bit weak. Believe it or not, I still have my days here and there. Since you just started, you're going to have more weak days than not. However, the longer your go without contact, the larger the waves in between the weak days seem to grow. Just stick to it. You'll be glad you did Link to comment
ClarityCoast Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 Liberty, I also don't think anyone is trying to be negative towards you. These boards work because they are the "collective wisdom" and shared experience of many. You can always take what you want...and leave the rest. I think the initial feedback was actually something you may want to think more on. I also did the "counting days" and I found myself so fixated how how MANY days I got under No Contact...that I lost sight of OTHER things going on in my life. I don't think that feedback was negative, it was simply a nudge to help you refocus. Instead of worrying about keeping/breaking/sustaining No Contact...instead of focusing on "going back to Day 1" or moving on to Day 6...it may instead help you to think about today as Liberty's Day, tomorrow can't be predicted and yesterday is over...so what are you doing or can you do for YOU, TODAY, that will make YOUR life better irregardless of how your former relationship turns out? Link to comment
Liberty1 Posted March 22, 2013 Author Share Posted March 22, 2013 @sapphire thank you and i totally agree with what u have said and know it to be true @matti thank you also for the encouragement n pointing of the right direction lol @Clarity and thanks for your input aswell .. Aways appreciate peoples time in responding... I dont mean to offend anyone its just i was rather proud that i stopped myself from sending the email it was a big deal to me.. I am not really counting the days but the fact is if i did break no contact and the obvious happen like sapphire said, id hear something i didnt want to hear and i would effectively be at day 1 again wishing i never emailed.. As it goes i didnt email and there still has been NC n for that im proud.. I obviously would perceive it as negative as there wasnt really a positive comment in the replies at all.. Apart from R32 .. so forgive me for being slightly sensitive.. I understand this is a forum with different opinions but at the same time its not necessarily what ur saying but the way it comes accross n it doesnt mean u just cast an opinion so flippantly, it can be damaging ... Many people on here are talking from experience not necessarily going through it at this moment in time and maybe forget its a sensitive time for some. Bit of encouragement woulda been cool .. Anyway im over it now lol Thanks again all.... Link to comment
kz91 Posted March 22, 2013 Share Posted March 22, 2013 The first week or so is the hardest, you've gotta be really strong, but day by day it gets a little easier. If you have the urge to text your ex, there's a thread on here called "post here instead of contacting your ex" it works a treat, honestly. I remember when I thought I couldn't go the whole day without NC, but here I am on day..I don't even know, I stopped counting the days. But I know it's been a month and a half for NC. Mind you, she completely cut me out her life so it made it easier for me, until she messaged me on tumblr saying that she misses me, I didn't reply!! Link to comment
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