R32

I'm almost back at the flat, I'm really not looking forward to going into the emptiness but you know what, I'm not gonna let this beat me, I'm gonna go in, do what and need to do and then I'm going out with the lads for a few beers. You're probably gonna be in the local with him, well enjoy that little crack den with your new toy! I seriously want to scream at you today but you know what, tonight I'm gonna go out and be me, I'm gonna have a smile on my face and be approachable and sociable, I won't be miserable, not today.

I've not heard from you in days, I've deliberately not contacted you either, I've been on a forum where everybody has been supportive, they have shown me more respect than you ever did. I hope that these days are as painful for you as they are for me and I hope one day you realise what you out me through. I'm trying not to hate you, in fact I don't, but I am trying to forget you. When I get back to the office next week I'm not sure how I'm going to react but I think it would be wise for you to stay out of my way, I would never physically hurt you, you know that already, but with all this pain in my heart I may say something in the heat of the moment. I hope that you're truly miserable with the new guy and that he does to you what you've done to me, you truly did break my heart. Never again will I let myself be so mugged off by someone like you, the next person I let in will want me for me, not for what she can get. Don't try and pretend that you spent time trying to resolve our issues because you didn't, not in a meaningful way. Oh and another thing, you didn't put as much into us as you say you did, if you had we could've worked. I saw a post on the forum I mentioned and it said "I can't be friends with you because friends don't treat each other like this" I hope that when I do see you for the first time I have the strength to keep composed and not lose my dignity, I did nothing but love, care and provide for you. Anyway, I don't wish you any harm, but I hope that at some point you feel a smidgen of the pain I did, maybe this will make you realise that you can't do it to someone else because they may not be as strong as me and you could have blood o. Your hands.