pandorasbox1 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Its been exactly 8 days since the break up. The break up was amicable and somewhat mutual, though I think he checked out emotionally long before he pulled the plug. I still have strong feelings for him. We agreed we wanted to try work things out as friends eventually... Day 1 after break up I initiated contact and immediately regretted it. Day 2 after break up, he initiated contact. Day 3, 4 and 5 was radio silence. Day 6 he contacts me, asking how Im doing. He casually tells me how happy he is and how well he is doing. I ask if he is happier and he says yes. I tell him I cant do the friends thing and he kinda freaks out and asks what I need. I tell him I need some time. He says he will give me what I need Today, day 8 after the breakup, I receive an email from him saying that he just wanted to send me a list of new bands he's been listening to and that he thought I may like. He also said he hoped I was having a better week. What's he playing at? Its been two days since I asked for some space. I feel like he is being selfish. So far I have given him everything he wanted without arguing. He wanted to break up, I gave him that. He wanted to remain friends, I gave him that. I ask for some time and he still pesters me? I decided not to reply to the email. An hour later he sends me another with a few band names he didnt mention. I dont know what to think. He sends me mixed signals. He seems to want to get back together but then tells me how happy he is without me but then wont give me space to get over our relationship? What's he playing at? Link to comment
kz91 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 You need to ignore him, he's messing with your head. Link to comment
Liberty1 Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Well it hasnt been that long so i reckon he may be regretting his decision but doesnt want to cave just yet..maybe at a loose end n misses you.... Its like he wants to do his thing but wants you to still be hanging around for him... Do whats best for you on your terms not his... The emails of bands is just a way to reach out but its not a genuine reach out.. Just ignore it... When he wants to communicate with something substantial then respond if you want to.. Other wise if this relationship is really finished go NC all the way... Link to comment
pandorasbox1 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 I decided to ignore him, and I will continue to do so. If he really has something important to communicate to me then he can pick up the phone and call. I really do feel like he's messing with my head Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 I decided to ignore him, and I will continue to do so. If he really has something important to communicate to me then he can pick up the phone and call. I really do feel like he's messing with my head Way to go. Be strong, sistah. While you're being strong, don't have any expectations of him having anything important to say. Anything less then "I made a mistake and I'd like to try again" is unimportant fluff that will only keep you stagnated in being unable to get to the stage of indifference to him. Don't let yourself be demoted from lover to "friend." Past lover's make crappy friends and normally they will cause some kind of problem within any new relationship you find yourself in. Link to comment
pandorasbox1 Posted March 20, 2013 Author Share Posted March 20, 2013 Thanks for the advice, I will definitely keep this in mind Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted March 20, 2013 Share Posted March 20, 2013 Yeah, definitely ignore him. He's trying to make you a friend. Link to comment
tryharder83 Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 i really wish that i knew all this after my BU... Raine, believe me there's nothing to it really.. they're looking out for themselves reaching out to you at the expense of your sanity, since this has put you in confusion. but as you said you know well enough that he doesnt want you the way you do so.. that's it hold onto that reason.. everything else doesnt matter, unless stated otherwise. funny when they throw you this vague and petty, mean nothing small talk to try and hook you in.. if you dont buy it.. they go berserk on you a**! very mature and considerate i say! but they want out?? just dont have a strong backbone for it. goodluck Link to comment
markie6 Posted March 21, 2013 Share Posted March 21, 2013 The break up was amicable and somewhat mutual, though I think he checked out emotionally long before he pulled the plug. I still have strong feelings for him. We agreed we wanted to try work things out as friends eventually... The parts highlighted are what I noticed. Now as you suspect he checked out a long time ago, he's that far further on in his healing and obviously thinking friendship is on the cards as soon as he feels better Link to comment
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