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Help me cope. It's a mess


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My wife and I have been married for just over a year. Our son is 2 mints old. We've had issues in our marriage but I've tried to fix things, she never wanted counseling. We are getting divorced, she says its because I haven changed and haven't fixed our marriage. She says she doesn't want to fix things now. But here's the messed up part. I have come into hard evidence that she has cheated on me and lied.. A lot. She has said that she's been in addiction therapy and our sons intestins weren't fully develope at birth to some guy that assume she was with before and also told him that she is stuck ins relationship with a man that she doesn't even love. She told another person that I was a lazy piece of trash that didn't do anything. I left my job because she said that my boss tried to get her to leave me for him, but I saw my bosses text records and she sent him nudes ad kept trying to sleep with him and said that she was leaving me because I wa abusive and smoked weed near our infant son. I also saw on his text records that she told him that she had slept with someone else while we've been married. I talk to her mom and step dad and they know she is a habitual liar( idk why they didn't tell me) but they are not on her side with this. I have several people that don't know each other that have confirmed that she sent nudes to some guy that wasn't me. We are still in the same apartment together and I know she sees her ex after work before she comes home. We are waiting for our tax returns to get her an apartment and a car and pay for the dissolution(cheaper than a real divorce) but I don't know if I should confront her or wait until after all is said and done. I don't want my son to be half raised by a sociopath. And I have thought about finding someone to have no strings sex with because my wife won't budge about counseling(not that I want it now that I know all that stuff) but every time I think about it I feel so guilty and depressed because I promised to be faithful. I don't know what I should do. Some one please help me, I can't take this anymore and my son is the only thig keepin me alive.

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OK, you need to look for a lawyer and ask for custody of your son rather than let this woman raise him. And I agree, first get a paternity test because there is always a chance this child isn't yours if she tries to cheat with multiple men.


Your son needs you, and you need to be thinking about him and yourself right now because obviously your wife is just thinking about chasing other men and is not interested in marriage to you. You can have a full and happy life with your son, but you will need to get legal help to help you try to get sole custody and if not that, then at least joint custody.

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Ditto OffPlanet and Lavenderlove.


I will add… there’s no such thing as “no strings sex”! This dishonorable approach to your problems is probably what led you to be with this woman in the first place.


Step back, find the real/honorable you and then move forward one step at a time.


PS, Being happy is the result of your hard work.

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I know what your going through because I was dumped by my fiance primarily for the same things everything basically was ly fault. I have 2 year old with her and she has a son from a previous relationship. I take care of them both and financially I have been so generous I helped this woman buy 3 cars. I helped pay the bills and still do even though now I collect unemployment. What I'm saying is my friend is that most men are known to be abusive, cheaters, and deadbeats. You and i are obviously are not in that category but it's ironic how much good u can do for someone and get thrown away like your nothing, and have them demonize you like your the trouble. You e'er story is heartbreaking and u need to be strong for your son and rid yourself of that women which I know it'd not easy, you have to prepare yourself and be open to moving on with your life .it seems that she's out to hurt you

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