i spat on my boyfriend in my sleep intententionally

[keeptrying]

so i posted here before about my dying loveless relationship, which i am still in and am yet to find my way out of, its all just getting worse all the screaming and name calling, the waking up every morning hating eachother and not saying a word, the moments of pretending everything is alright, gah it all drives me crazy. i suffer from parasomnias pretty badly, i kick and scream in my sleep, not just sleep talking i mean the top of my lungs screaming nasty things, it happens almost every night and ive tried so many differnt ways to stop it, but ive learnt to just live with it its been so long, my partner hates it i wake him up multiple times a night screaming the most horrid things, anyway last night i did something ive never done before, i physically spat on my partner, i cant remember the dream but i can very clearly remember waking to spit on him and swear at him, i can remember feeling accomplished after i did it, luckily he wasnt next to me cause we were fighting so he was on the couch, when i woke up in the morning there was my spit on his pillow, i shocked myself when i realised what i did and how lucky i was his face wasnt lying right there. i havent talked to him yet today, weve just been sitting in different rooms as per usual, arguing as per usual. I feel like my subconscious is getting pissed off at me for continuing in this relationship that i know i dont want, but im still struggling to find my way out. I just refuse to admit to myself i wasted my whole adolescent life with him, so so many wasted years that were supposed to be the best and instead here i am with my unemployed stoner boyfriend that i love to death and cannot let go, seriously how the hell do people leave one another

[agent1607307371]

I just refuse to admit to myself i wasted my whole adolescent life with him,

 

So don't do it by wasting even more years on him.

[Captain Obvious]

Well you can refuse to admit that youre wasting your time and continue to waste time or you can leave and enjoy a happy life.

[Capricorn3]

WHY do you remain in this situation? If you choose to stay in a toxic and dysfunctional relationship then you can't complain about it, as you KNOW exactly what to expect. So, if you want things to change, then you have the choice of ending it and leaving the situation. As long as you choose to remain, you know NOTHING will change. Choice is yours.

[Ayanokōji]

Sorry but with a condition like that anyone would have to sleep in separate beds or even in a sound proof room because sleep getting interrupted is very damaging for your health and you cannot perform at work. Sleep is as important as food and oxygen.