How does a man become emotionally connected/attracted/attached to a woman?

[A Confused Penny]

I've noticed lots of men will become physically attracted to women and then lose interest. Through experience I've learned that emotional attraction/connection/attachment is what really makes a man decide he wants to be in a relationship with a woman. I'm currently dating a man that doesn't seem to emotionally connect with me just yet, even though we just started dating I would like to start this all off on the right foot. I was going to start opening up to him first and talk about how I feel about different things in my life and see if that makes it easier for him, but I am unsure if this is the right way to go about it.

 

My question for the men out there is, what conversations, questions, experiences, make you open up to a woman and feel emotional attraction for her? What makes you realize she's the one for you? Is there anyway a woman can start to move things forward and get a man to open up to her?

[Ayanokōji]

When a woman shows signs of weakness and tries hard to overcome it but just falls short for a cause that isn't completely selfish.

[SometimesShy]

...Physical and emotional chemistry.

 

It's a rare thing, but fireworks go off when you do find it.

 

You lose track of time. Your brain turns to mush. But you feel so happy.

[Invoker]

Hello. Emotional attraction is a process that takes time. You develop a relationship with someone you're attracted to. Infatuation and emotional attraction are completely different. What you might be thinking of is infatuation. Infatuation is a process that causes sudden attraction and then fades away... Emotional attraction builds up through discourse, time spent together, etc. Go with what feels natural if you're going to talk about deep, emotional stuff. The right time and setting must be judged by you to bring up these important topics. Try not to be too overwhelming -- no one wants a storm of emotion out of nowhere. Just take it slow and nicely transition, or if some opportunity comes up to talk about life, go ahead.

 

Now to your question...

 

I guess personal experiences mostly make me emotionally attracted to a woman. If I have someone to care for and talk to on a personal level, I am likely to build an emotional relationship with them. The mutual dependence of relationships brings attraction between partners.

 

When it comes to the idea of "The One," I try not to get my head stuck up in the clouds. I like to keep my hopes high, but not too high so they come crashing down. A lot of people can be "The One," in fact -- it's just that instantaneous, present-moment relationship that makes you think, "Oh! Maybe he's the one for me!"

 

If you want someone to open up to you, just nudge the conversation forward toward personal discourse. Asking questions about their past is a good way to have someone open up. Stories, bad experiences, and a plethora of other stuff are all gateways for a man to open up to you. Don't be shy to query personal stuff. Go with your feelings.

 

- Invoker

[chickydoodle]

Ask him about his parents esp his r'ship with his mother. That can be very revealing about a guy and give you more insight.I.M.O

[A Confused Penny]

Thanks for the suggestions! I agree that emotional attraction takes time. I have an idea of some things to ask to get the conversations started now. If anyone has anymore ideas, please post!

[SometimesShy]

Emotional attraction is a process that takes time.

 

...Not for everybody. Sometimes you meet someone that you just "click" on virtually everything, and this emotional synchronicity only deepens over time.

 

In my case this led to two LTRs, and each one started the first time we met. ( I am still good friends with my last LTR that ended 6 years ago )

[A Confused Penny]

...Not for everybody. Sometimes you meet someone that you just "click" on virtually everything, and this emotional synchronicity only deepens over time.

 

In my case this led to two LTRs, and each one started the first time we met. ( I am still good friends with my last LTR that ended 6 years ago )

 

 

 

Hmm, interesting. Wouldn't you have to get to know someone before feeling something for them though?

[SometimesShy]

Hmm, interesting. Wouldn't you have to get to know someone before feeling something for them though?

 

Ordinarily I would agree, but sometimes ( it doesn't happen often ) you meet somebody that you instantly feel a connection with, and the more time you spend with this person the stronger this connection becomes.

 

I have a few friends that started living with their girlfriends after knowing them for less than 3 months, and two of them were married before they had spent a year together. ( both couples are still married and happy today )

[Fudgie]

While a connection can be instantaneous, only time will tell if it's a true emotional connection.

 

Some people do move in or marry very very early based on a connection feeling that has not stood the test of time but I feel that's foolish and risky. If you don't want to take a risk, take it slow.

[Blue Spiral]

I emotionally connected with women that I was extremely compatible with on a personality level. It happened almost immediately, and I was never able to replicate the process. Basically, I'm an unusual person, and the chances of me finding someone similar enough to connect with = pretty slim.

[Klokwurk]

To connect with a man like that depends on the man...

 

I get connected when she wakes me up kissing me all over. I'm sensitive, though.

[Heather Dawn]

I wouldn't try so hard, OP. This kind of thing has no formula - and you can't rush what isn't going to naturally happen, anyway. So just go with the flow, and see what happens. Either you'll eventually connect, or you won't.

 

I will say this, though. I experienced that instantaneous sort of overwhelming, every level connection only once in my life -and that was with the man I now share my life with.

[pl3asehelp]

You have to start out looking for an emotional connection if that's your priority. If you were willing to be physical first, well, you're demonstrating through your actions that being physical is your priority and you will attract men with the same values.

[LoveSoDeep]

To connect with a man like that depends on the man...

 

I get connected when she wakes me up kissing me all over. I'm sensitive, though.

 

LOL! Sometimes I really think this is all it takes....

 

but in reality there probably was some connection through shared experiences or even this would get old and the relationship would fade out eventually.

[oldenoughtoknow]

We are all individuals and I think everyone will have a different opinion on this one. For me, after the initial infatuation fades, the one thing that makes an emotional connection for me is her kindness or sweetness. I feel when you have that, everything else life throws at you becomes much easier, and success becomes much more possible. I don't like people who are brash, or always whine or complain about inconsequential things, or always have something more important to do, or always have to have things their way, or always have to win. It quickly becomes tiresome. That's when a once beautiful woman turns ugly. That's when I wake up and leave.

[quirky]

Everyone I datd I felt that emotional connection straight way, often more than the physical. I am not the best example because I have had some dramatic relationships but men were always very emotional around me and I think it's because I was like that myself.

 

You can share things about your childhood, favourite things, where you both grew up, what you wanted to be when you grow up..how sweet..Then maybe ask him about his career aspirations, if he likes his job, is it something he always wanted to do, did he fall into it, what would he have done if not that job etc.

 

The above questions and many more are ways of bonding with PEOPLE in general, not necessarily a man. They are personal things but not too personal.

 

I emotionally connected with women that I was extremely compatible with on a personality level. It happened almost immediately, and I was never able to replicate the process. Basically, I'm an unusual person, and the chances of me finding someone similar enough to connect with = pretty slim.

 

Same