I HATE My Job. Help. :(

[Heather Dawn]

I work for a software and Internet company that has recently split off into a second company - both with the same staff and under the same roof, though the second company also has two new partners (though they don't really matter in this case). For company number one, I'm a Project Manager in charge of one major, very time intensive account and one that's in its infancy - but I also help by assigning customer issues to helpdesk, doing QA testing, and much more (I'm the only one in the office who answers the phones); for company number two, I'm in charge of walking new customers through the very confusing process of getting a credit card system and merchant account tied in with their business so that it can be integrated into the software we've sold them; I also help out with simple edits and modifications of the company's website. (Side note: One of the owners asked me to drop her 10-year-old daughter off at an after-school program that's on my way home. This is how casual this place is.)

 

The company is small: six employees here in our corporate office - though we also have a larger staff of designers and engineers in our Taiwan office. It's also owned (company number one, and part of company number two) by two Chinese-born people - so there's a bit of a culture clash when it comes to how business is handled and what's expected. The owners tend to be very casual, with a focus on schmoozing and kissing ass of anyone they deem important (clients, colleagues in other companies, etc.). They also make promises they can't keep, so we're constantly having to do damage control by telling customers that we can't deliver what was promised them. And their level of communication is horrible - they do what my manager calls "keeping secrets," because they almost never tell us peons what's going on, even when it's regarding things we HAVE to know. We usually find out when a client asks us about something they were told by one of the owners, and we realize we're clueless.

 

There have been some issues between myself and one of the owners' wives - a woman who works part-time from home doing QA testing, and who is very, very difficult to work with. (She is universally hated by everyone but her husband and the other owner.) But that's basically simmered down to the point where we can pretend to get along for the sake of the company.

 

The problem now is this: I work 9am-6pm in the office, and then I go home and keep an eye on a certain aspect of my main project until 8pm - handling any issues that come up, answering emails, etc. I'm very busy all day - between liaising between our company and the client (constant emails and phone calls), doing all the work involved in submitting, delivering, testing, communicating about and sometimes doing the actual editing of websites and apps, keeping on top of the helpdesk emails and phone calls, answering the phone for EVERYONE, dealing with customer emails and phone calls about the credit card stuff, doing any website things that come up, chasing our in-house engineer and helpdesk guy for things, and everything else I do. In my time here, I've created new policy, written a CMS user manual and several flow charts to explain procedures, and generally done a lot of work to untangle the huge mess that was the projected I inherited.

 

My main client has said that "things have improved 150%" since I came on board. My manager has said I'm one of the best things that has happened to this company.

 

So what's the problem?

 

Nothing I do is enough to please the owners - especially the one married to the woman mentioned above.

 

Apparently, he has tried to figure out how long my job duties take and - in his opinion - they don't add up to eight hours (plus the two hours after work that I VOLUNTEERED to do - I'm on salary, so this doesn't get me OT). He looks only at the information that can be quantified - changes recorded in the system we use to track such info - but NOT the rest of what I do. Because my job gets done, and I'm autonomous, they assume I sit on my ass and twiddle my thumbs all day. Meanwhile, our helpdesk guy is always late, is extremely lazy and disorganized, and has to be chased to complete simple tasks - but that has lead the owners to believe he's overworked. They now want me to take on some of HIS work.

 

My manager, who has my back but who isn't always that helpful when it comes down to it, has basically told me that in order to get ahead in this company and to stand out, I need to take on MORE than I can handle - no matter what it takes. Instead of trying to talk to the owners to break down how I spend my day so that they can see how busy and productive I am, his (and their) solution is to add more (!!!) - and to make sure the the owner's are aware.

 

I feel like I'm already at the breaking point. I'm very stressed out, and I feel completely dumped upon by this company. My manager, himself, is disgusted and is - IMO - going to leave sooner rather than later. He tells me that he's grooming me to basically take over for him and be an invaluable member of this company so that I can make more money, negotiate for more perks, etc. - but sometimes I think that I'm being set up to fail. My predecessor apparently walked out one day and never came back; another former employee quit in anger due to poor management by the owners of her 401K.

 

I just don't know what to do. I've only been here six months, so far, and I want to at least make a year before I start looking elsewhere. How do I deal with the stress? I have a VERY happy home life and a wonderful partner, and I hate that my job is causing me stress like this.

[pl3asehelp]

Your manager is incompetent. He should be the one explaining to the owners what you work on and managing your workload. Does he know about the things you do that the owners don't? If not, either tell him and ask him to send it up the chain or stop doing those things and when someone notices, well, that's your recognition right there. However, to me what the dealbreaker is is his attitude that you need to take on more work than you can handle to get ahead or stand out. That's a toxic environment and as long as employees are desperate enough to tolerate it, you will never be able to compete with the people whose lives are completely out of balance.

[Heather Dawn]

Your manager is incompetent. He should be the one explaining to the owners what you work on and managing your workload. Does he know about the things you do that the owners don't? If not, either tell him and ask him to send it up the chain or stop doing those things and when someone notices, well, that's your recognition right there. However, to me what the dealbreaker is is his attitude that you need to take on more work than you can handle to get ahead or stand out. That's a toxic environment and as long as employees are desperate enough to tolerate it, you will never be able to compete with the people whose lives are completely out of balance.

 

OMG, you said exactly what I feel.

 

My manager SAID he explained it to the owner(s), but that they don't care - they only believe what they SEE, essentially. And to me, this means that when our helpdesk guy's incompetence is brought to their attention, it must be a GOOD thing, since they seem to think it means he has more work than he can handle. The fact that my work is completed without their intervention and constant babysitting is clearly not the way to go. It's so upsetting. And my manager makes these promises - "Do this and it'll get you noticed," or "Do that, and it'll get you noticed," - but all it seems to do is pile on more work.

 

ETA: My manager has been with the company for 10+ years and has much more business savvy than the actual owners. He's probably the reason the company has grown and succeeded. But I think that he assumes that what works for him will work for me - he's become indispensable to them, so he has clout and can call his own shots. But he doesn't see that I am NOT him and the rules don't apply to me.

[chai714]

It's obvious your employer doesn't value you as much as you value yourself. The thought of you wanting to make it there for one year is commendable however it's more self-punishing than it is rewarding. This is an artificial goal you have set for yourself however the journey and payoff of accomplishing the "one year mark" won't pay off financially or emotionally. Silently but consistently job hunt and make that your number one priority.

[Heather Dawn]

It's obvious your employer doesn't value you as much as you value yourself. The thought of you wanting to make it there for one year is commendable however it's more self-punishing than it is rewarding. This is an artificial goal you have set for yourself however the journey and payoff of accomplishing the "one year mark" won't pay off financially or emotionally. Silently but consistently job hunt and make that your number one priority.

 

Thanks for the advice.

 

I've thought of doing it NOW - the job hunt - but I was unemployed for some time before this due to health issues, so I feel like I need to have at least one year of current work history under my belt again before moving on. I'm worried that, in this market, I'll have a hard time otherwise. But I also know what you said makes a lot of sense...so maybe I'll put my feelers out, so to speak.

[katmarie]

Do this.... plan a two week vacation. Insist that you must go on it and it must be two weeks. An out of town visit to see a dying relative, for example.

 

Now delegate out your work and put together a transition plan. Ask to sit with the owners, managers, etc. to go through the transition plan with them.

 

Once you are gone, and the people who are not appreciating you have to walk a day (or two weeks) in your shoes, they will suddenly see how much you contribute.

 

If that doesn't work, back to the job search, as others have suggested....