I asked a girl to go on a date with me on Valentine's day?

[sarrmir]

I asked a girl to go on a date with me on Valentine's day? she said no but left me hanging. (here is my convo which I think went really bad).

 

 

- Me: Do you have any plans for Valentine’s Day?

- Girl: No, just homework I guess

- Me: So I was wondering if I can take you out for dinner on Valentine’s Day.

- Girl: No. (blushing at the same time)

- Me: Hmm...that’s a bummer, I have been over-thinking this( the whole asking out thing )for a long time, at least now you know how I feel about you, I have been thinking about you since October….is it because.. Hmm…Are you not single?

- Girl: No I am single; I had a boyfriend in first year.( two years ago)

- Me: Didn't work out that good? hey

- Girl it did not,

- Me: Is it the timing? I totally understand, I know you are taking 5 courses and I am taking 6. Not really the best time to date.

- Girl: I can’t believe you are taking 6 courses.

- Me: What if I ask you out again after this semester when you are less busy? ( in May)

- Girl: Maybe...

- Me: Ok

- Girl

- Me: Bye

 

 

 

 

what should I do now? does "maybe" mean she is a definite no? or do I have a chance to turn "maybe" to a yes in May?

[abitbroken]

People feel a lot of pressure when they are asked out for the first time on V-day AND are told that someone has been thinking of asking them out for months and months. In the future, you are better off asking someone if they would like to get coffee or a pizza sometime, and if they say yes, seal the deal and ask them to a specific day. I think that either she doesn't feel the same about you or she is uncomfortable with the pressure.

 

I think you were better off either assessing her interest by throwing her a softball like I said above and backing off about V-day if she wasn't even interested in going out period.

 

I would let her No mean no for now. Do you know this girl very well? Or have you been sort of circling to figure out how to ask her out all this time?

[Klokwurk]

Sorry man, NO WAY AT ALL; she does not in anyway like you.

[Sportster2005]

Anything but a yes, is a no.

[sarrmir]

well, we go to same school we are in the same classes and have like two group projects together, we talk all the time, but only about school stuff. I know I shouldnt have bombarded her with my feeling !! but the thing is I told her about my feeling rightafter she said NO, so do you not think it was either the V-Day or "she is not that into me at all" that made her say NO.

Thanks

[BrianH46]

Whoa she is not interested and you jumped the gun hard. You never ask why a girl says no.

[junebug123]

i think no means no. Just because she was blushing doesn't mean she likes you, it just means she was embarrassed or taken off guard. You should just move on, sounds like you are in the friend zone. In the future you should make your intentions known earlier before the girl starts trying to figure out what zone she is going to place you in.

[abitbroken]

well, we go to same school we are in the same classes and have like two group projects together, we talk all the time, but only about school stuff. I know I shouldnt have bombarded her with my feeling !! but the thing is I told her about my feeling rightafter she said NO, so do you not think it was either the V-Day or "she is not that into me at all" that made her say NO.

Thanks

 

I think that stating your feelings sort of put the kabosh on it for sure. The only way is if she asks YOU out - but I really think that this isn't going to happen. Its hard to build a girl up in your mind and be rejected. Maybe get in the practice of talking to more girls in general or asking girls out to casual things...but not her.

[MikNomis]

Positive she's not into you at all, I'm sorry to say. You should just move on dude, don't fall into the trap of being hopeful completely in the face of evidence to the contrary.

[abitbroken]

In the future you should make your intentions known earlier before the girl starts trying to figure out what zone she is going to place you in.

 

I would say get in the practice of figuring out which girls are giving you the green light. And don't lay your feelings on the table before even dating someone.

[wilyone 11]

It is really brave of you to post your conversation here. I suggest you read every book you can get your hands on about how to ask a girl out. There are so many blunders here I don't even know where to start. But just keep at it and before you know it you'll be a pro.

[Steve75]

Not sure why you would ask to go out on a date on VD when she wasn't your girlfriend

[Angel Irulan]

Are you at UVA?

[sarrmir]

Thanks to everyone for the insights.

now that I got rejected, the bigger problem is what should I do when I see her tomorrow? should I just play it cool and pretend that nothing happened? I mean just talk to her about school stuff like before? Isnt she gonna think that I am kinda like weird and ignorant about the whole rejection thing after all that happened yesterday? isnt playing it cool a weak point in my case after putting it all out?

 

thanks

[Angel Irulan]

Are you at UVA? I agree, she's not interested. Don't risk your group projects together. Ask her for coffee in May. By fourth year it's too late, she's going to decide that you just want a fourth year fling. If she tells you no in May when those projects are done, forget her completely. In the meantime, go dating other girls.

 

Angel

[sarrmir]

no Im not, why?

 

Are you at UVA?

Angel

[Angel Irulan]

You mentioned first year and UVA is the only US university I can recall that uses the terms first thru fourth years versus freshman to senior....

 

Angel

[wilyone 11]

Thanks to everyone for the insights.

now that I got rejected, the bigger problem is what should I do when I see her tomorrow? should I just play it cool and pretend that nothing happened? I mean just talk to her about school stuff like before? Isnt she gonna think that I am kinda like weird and ignorant about the whole rejection thing after all that happened yesterday? isnt playing it cool a weak point in my case after putting it all out?

 

thanks

 

Yes, definitely play it cool like nothing happened. Do not act diminished because then you'll lose any appeal you may have, and don't avoid her because then she'll think she really hurt your feelings and she'll feel guilty, which is never good. But definitely don't come on stronger than usual because she'll feel even more pressured and awkward.

[annie24]

ick.... sorry about that man. that's a no.... but good for you for giving it a shot!!

[abitbroken]

Thanks to everyone for the insights.

now that I got rejected, the bigger problem is what should I do when I see her tomorrow? should I just play it cool and pretend that nothing happened? I mean just talk to her about school stuff like before? Isnt she gonna think that I am kinda like weird and ignorant about the whole rejection thing after all that happened yesterday? isnt playing it cool a weak point in my case after putting it all out?

 

thanks

 

Yes, just play it cool. Talk to her in the group project like you normally would. Don't seek her out to talk to her, but be polite - like nothing happened. playing it cool is not a weak point. Its not like you were dating and she dumped you. Moping and acting depressed shows you are easily crushed. The problem here is that you built this in your mind for so long you feel like she dumped you. Confident guys just role with it. If one girl said no to a date - big deal. You just ask someone else - not for v day but on a date in general or out as a group outside of class to get the ball rolling. When you go out for an ice cream or pizza you don't have to marry them.

[mfan]

- Me: Hmm...that’s a bummer, I have been over-thinking this( the whole asking out thing )for a long time, at least now you know how I feel about you, I have been thinking about you since October….is it because.. Hmm…Are you not single?

 

The part I bolded will freak out any girl. Do not tell a girl that you've been secretly thinking about her. Keep that private. Just ask her out and if she doesn't seem interested, move on.