Confusedsomuch Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 I was with my ex gf for 6 years on and off and she ended it 4 months ago saying she was no longer in love with me and not happy with the person I was, I really loved this girl and even went to a lot of trouble asking her to marry me in the most romantic way I could think of to which she said yes, then a couple of weeks later she told me I forced her into saying yes and throw the ring back at me we then went out to the beech where she said she could no longer be with me as we where different people and it started an argument and ended with her breaking my nose we spilt for 3 weeks she moved out and then called me and we ended up getting back together which lasted for 5 weeks then she ended it with me again saying she does not love me and she has not for a long time but was waiting for the right time to end it that was 4 months ago, Now I work with my ex and when she told me she still wanted to be friends I went a long with it and tried to be amicable but found out just by saying good morning to her was annoying her so i decided to stop and we haven't spoken at all in 4 months, But I have been told by a few people that she always stares at me and that she is lying to people that I'm always contacting her asking for another chance and its so annoying as it makes her angry to see me sad? But I am getting on with my life and genuinely having a good time at work and accept that she is no longer a part of my life I recently started talking to a girl at work just platonic who is spilting from her boyfriend and this girl received an e mail from what looks to be the ex saying stuff like I'm not as good as what I make out I am dont make a mistake and its wrong what the girl is doing, And she is trying to turn people against me at work as well, So my question is why send the girl that e mail, why try to turn people against me and why make up the lies about me contacting her when I have left her alone to live her life??? Wouldn't she be happy that I moved on an not pestering her she doesn't love me so why try to ruin me? Link to comment
Clio Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 My guess is that for whatever reasons, she is feeling resentful towards you. She is feeling that you are to blame for your relationship not working out. She is hurt that her six-year emotional investment in your relationship did not work out and she is channeling all that anger and disappointment in you. She can t stand seeing you happy and moving on with your life when she is unhappy herself. She doesn't want you but she also blames you for her unhappiness if that makes any sense. Her behavior shows that she has deep personal unresolved issues probably stemming from the way she was raised that have nothing to do with you. Her resorting to physical and emotional abuse like that is unacceptable. You need to stay away from her as much as you can. And you need to ask yourself why you stayed for so long and wanted to marry someone who would treat you like that and identify what was/is your role in this so as not to repeat the same choices in the future... Link to comment
DN Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 Since she has shown she can be violent (breaking your nose) you are much better off without her in your life. She seems to be both violent and vindictive. Link to comment
Confusedsomuch Posted January 28, 2013 Author Share Posted January 28, 2013 She wasn't always like this she cheated on me 3 years ago and has never been the same Link to comment
Confusedsomuch Posted January 28, 2013 Author Share Posted January 28, 2013 I know I am better of without her and I'm in the right road to recovery but its confusing to understand why she is doing this still after 4 months Link to comment
jemoeder Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 she has clearly some issues. and it seems she has no inner peace with they way you left things. otherwise she would not pay you any attention. Link to comment
Confusedsomuch Posted January 28, 2013 Author Share Posted January 28, 2013 But she did not want anything to do with me her words to a friend was that she wants to start a new life but its so hard when I keep trying to make contact, just by saying good morning? Link to comment
jemoeder Posted January 28, 2013 Share Posted January 28, 2013 you could try igonoring her but if she starts bad mouthing you to your friends, acquiantances thats were you draw the line and show her who the man is. just because a girl cant be slapped dont mean you can still show her not to f with you. really she breaks up with you and still tries to play games and meddle in your life. dude, get some control over the situation. im not saying use any physical violence but if a girl did that to me i would be the first to shake the **** out of her. and you have all the reason to do this because: - she cheated on you - she broke up with you TWICE - she is talking badly about you behind her back - she broke your nose (must have been a pretty humiliating experience ) So if anyone should be talking **** about the other one, it should be you! Link to comment
Confusedsomuch Posted January 28, 2013 Author Share Posted January 28, 2013 Wasn't so much as humiliating as it was crushing how could someone i love do this to me I would never lay a hand on her and she left me quite a few times but we always seemed to work it out, it's just this time I knew it was final but can't understand why she keeps popping into my life the way she is Link to comment
jemoeder Posted January 29, 2013 Share Posted January 29, 2013 if you dont want that (the popping in your life), make sure she gets the message. on the other hand, maybe she wants you to react. there are 2 things you can do about this situation 1. React to it and make it VERY CLEAR she should not be f ing with you in whatever way. 2. Do not mind her and her pathetic ways. one day she will grow tired of it. Its not much fun doing bad things to the other one if the other one isnt reacting now is it. I would advise React with Force. Step up and handle it like a man. Sometimes women need to be reminded they are women. They are masters of playing head games and emotional manipulation. Nip it in the bud. What happens if you find a really nice girl, and she likes you a lot... and you want to build up something with her and then.. your crazy ex starts talking bad things about you, embarrasing things, lies whatever. Nobody likes a crazy ex in their life and it could be a big turn off to a new love interest if the "crazy ex" is still hoovering around. Link to comment
Confusedsomuch Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 Ok quick update my ex approached this girl today (the one she sent the email too) and said congratulations on your divorce? My ex doesn't normally talk to this girl but since I have been talking to her she has received the e mail and now this she also made a point of telling this girls friend that she wants my best mate at work (just straight walked up to her and said it) why? I feel like she is trying to get my attention and acts happy around me? Link to comment
Confusedsomuch Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 She has never spoken to my mate at work and him neither, but she told this girl she is horny for him?? And gets excited when near him she knows this would get back to me? Link to comment
Confusedsomuch Posted January 31, 2013 Author Share Posted January 31, 2013 Any advice would be appreciated I feel like I'm going crazy keep thinking of this Link to comment
Confusedsomuch Posted February 1, 2013 Author Share Posted February 1, 2013 Anyone? I really need advice as this really helps me out Link to comment
Confusedsomuch Posted February 1, 2013 Author Share Posted February 1, 2013 I can't understand this ex she didnt want me but must people are saying she has realised what she lost but Im the only one who can't see it? Link to comment
Not a rookie Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 She is violent and not loyal. Do you want someone who will screw other guys behind your behind and break your nose/chin/arm? Invite her out to coffee and politely tell her that is over, and she should please act respectful since you guys share a workplace. Link to comment
oldenoughtoknow Posted February 1, 2013 Share Posted February 1, 2013 Some people simple aren't worth trying to figure out. Keep your eye on the horizon and count your blessings. Link to comment
Confusedsomuch Posted February 2, 2013 Author Share Posted February 2, 2013 Ok thanks for the replies she is acting completely happy today(my ex) and even walked straight past me and this other girl talking I just Can't understand why she tried to warn this girl and congratulated her with the divorce? Link to comment
Confusedsomuch Posted February 3, 2013 Author Share Posted February 3, 2013 Another update on my ex just found out that my ex is seeing someone and living with them and that she wants to start a family, and that she hates me and can't stand seeing me? But what I don't understand is that if that is true why send that email warning this girl away from me and why does she stare at me? Wouldn't she want me to move on if she has?? Link to comment
Confusedsomuch Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 Anyone???? Please Link to comment
Confusedsomuch Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 Anyone care to add some advice I'm struggling to understand all this Link to comment
DN Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 There is nothing to understand past the violence - that is all the reason you need to go no contact. Link to comment
Confusedsomuch Posted February 4, 2013 Author Share Posted February 4, 2013 I am in nc and have been for four months well apart from what I hear and it's kinda hard not to for some reason people want to tell me about her and I say I don't care about her but I feel as if I say i don't want to hear anything about her it makes me still look like I care when the last thing I want is for the ex to know that, hence the reason I'm on here, I just can't understand why and I'm just looking for some people's basic advice Link to comment
oldenoughtoknow Posted February 4, 2013 Share Posted February 4, 2013 There is no shame in trying to move on with your life. When these other people attempt to tell you her gossip, I would politely tell them that you don't want to hear it. If it gets back to her...who cares? She's screwing with you. That doesn't mean you have to allow it. Leave her to play out her head trips and drama all by herself. Link to comment
Confusedsomuch Posted February 6, 2013 Author Share Posted February 6, 2013 Thanks for all the help, I hope in time this will just be a distant memory it still hurts though, especially since she is now friends with the guy she cheated on me with 3 years ago and lied to me saying she felt like she had been raped by him, how stupid was i to believe that Link to comment
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