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Not sure if I'm over reacting


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So my boyfriend and I have known each other for 9 months, dating for almost four. I love him dearly, but lately I've been very bitter towards him and I'm not sure if it's well founded. I have two jobs at the moment and he works and goes to school, so I got very spoiled with how often I saw him at first. But lately he'll say we can't hang out because "he's too sore from the gym/fb" or he's taking his family out to lunch (on the week that he said he owed me a nice dinner because he's never done that before) and while I understand the family thing I'm tired of being ditched for FB. He even totally forgot an invitation I gave him to come over one night. I saw him last week and he misread my text and went to watch a fb game at his friends house, and thanks to his friend I saw him because he was nice enough to invite me over, if not it would have been more than 2 weeks without seeing him. Am I being unreasonable? I wouldn't even mind having breakfast with him, or meeting up with him after he gets out of work for an hour. I just miss him and I feel like I'm the only one trying. And what brought me here today was that I invited him over to watch a movie and he said he'd come over after playing FB...but now he'll come over around 6 and have to leave a few hours later. I feel terrible for thinking this but I really wish I didn't have to come second to FB. I guess this is a lot of women's plight.


Any advice would be appreciated. I have already expressed to him how I feel cast aside.

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I think you most definitely have a point - I'd be pretty upset if I didn't see my bf very often and sometimes it was as much as two weeks - not because of something special - but just because he's "too busy". I'm sure it makes you feel like he's not very interested.


I'd be careful, though, about not making it about football. He clearly loves football and he's not going to be happy (and very resentful) about giving it up for you. That's a sure path to resentment. The issue is that you are not seeing him enough. I mean... if he kept the football and dropped everything else so that he could see you every day that wouldn't be a problem, right?


I think you should confront him on your feelings and explain that you just want more time - any time (including breakfast or an hour here or there) - and that you are not happy with your current arrangements. Let him prioritize what he wants to keep and what he wants to drop - because football is not the real issue.

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You're definitely not overreacting. To be honest with you, I would endure that kind of relationship!

I think you need to talk to him and tell him how you feel - if you think that there is not enough time to talk to him, i think it's ok to do it over a text or a phone call. If he doesn't offer you the time to talk face to face, what else can you do?


Tell him that you want to spend more time with him and how much you miss him. If he cares about your relationship, he will do something!

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You have a cause for concern, and no, this isn't every woman's plight. You said that you've mentioned to him that you feel cast aside. Do you think that talk should have been sufficient, or was it just a passing comment you made? As Ms Darcy mentioned, I would make sure he understands how you're feeling. Then, if he doesn't do anything about it, either he's not that into you, fb is more important, or this is the level of contact he's comfortable with in a relationship. Not a one of those reasons should be acceptable.

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