Why do so many men always go for younger women

[Reflective82]

I've been having an issue about something recently.

 

I'm a 27 year old attractive girl, so this isn't something that has happened to me- I've never been left for a younger woman and have always dated men a few years older, but I have this irritation about men lately. I suppose it doesn't help my father is having an affair with someone 12 years his junior.

 

I've heard about a lot of stories, from my parents friends, and just in real life, about men leaving women and then going out with younger women. Everywhere you look it seems that once a couple break up, the guy ALWAYS (99%) of the time goes out with a girl younger than the last.

 

My exes too have always ended up going out with girls a few years younger than me after we broke up (I was 3-4 years younger than them to begin with!). I asked one of them why do men like younger women when we were together and he said it's because they look better, and something quite crude....are more "fresh" down there. Is this true- men?

 

I don't know why I care because I'm still young but I'm just finding it irritating as I get older and have developed a bit of a phobia of dating men my age because of it. I'm even starting to rule out men who are only 3 years older, as I'd quite like to date someone 10 years older so I feel like the "young" one.

 

One of my old exes who I am good friends with said that age doesn't matter and it's all about the person, we were talking about a new girl he has started dating and so I said that's great and asked how old she was- she is 23! (he is 30). He laughed and said gosh maybe you are right.

 

Men- thoughts?

[gilmond]

Hi I don't really mind age but in all honestly younger women in my opinion are nieve and are easy and they are bright, nubile, and full of energy not to mention their sex drive is more signifcant. In all honestly that what's us men like to do is have sex sure we want to do fun things but the younger women like to have sex and do certain things older women might not do. I am 27 myself will be 28 in march and recently broke up with my 24 year old gf then started dating a 21 year old. The 21 year old wasn't mature at all by any means but she was attractive and liked sex but then ended up with another guy which makes no difference to me women that age are fickle. I'd hate to say that if you do date anyone older then you they might be divorced or have kids which I don't know if that's what you want. In my opinion you should try dating whoever you want young or old as long as you find them attractive and fun to be around.

[allcity]

I've been guilty of doing this a few times but it's only been because the women I met post-breakup that were my age were all in relationships, while the women that were younger than me were all single. Also I found that the younger women were all very proactive at flirting with me and pursuing me. It wasn't anything to do with me wanting a 'younger model'. It just worked out that way. Having said that, all of my long-term relationships have also been with women that were at least four years younger than me and sometimes as much as eight years younger. Again that wasn't a choice on my part. It just seemed to work out that way, as I never met anyone my age that was single when I was.

[Reflective82]

Well I'm hoping to find single men age 32/33 but we'll see. Interesting you broke up with the 24 year old and started with the 21 year old- proves my theory!

[Reflective82]

I'm not saying that men purposefully seek out a younger woman but as they always seem to end up with younger perhaps subconciously they do go for younger women and they can tell they are younger? I am sure you saw women your age that were single but maybe you weren't as attracted to them?

[allcity]

I'm sure I must've seen some, but I certainly never met any. I find that I rarely ever meet any women my age at all though. They're always either older or younger. No idea why. Maybe it's my career.

 

I'm certainly not against the idea of a relationship with someone my own age, though. However, I'm definitely not interested in being with anyone older. I tried it once and didn't like it very much.

[SpottiOtti]

Younger women are more easily impressed by older men than are women of an age. They don't demand as much emotionally or have as many dealbreakers as older women, because they don't know any better. Makes a man feel good about himself if he can snag a younger woman. That's my theory.

[allcity]

Looking at my friend's relationships, I've actually found it to be the opposite...the younger women are more demanding and the older women are more easy going with less expectations. The same has been the case in my own experience. The women I've dated have certainly been pretty demanding. Reasonably so, though, in that they just know what they want and they don't see why they should settle for less. That's part of why I liked them so much I guess.

[EssexMan]

Well, my last three girlfriends have been five years older than me/five years younger/11 years younger, in that order, which bears out your theory...but I certainly don't go consciously looking for a "younger model" and I wouldn't want a relationship with a girl in, say, her mid-20s...women that age can be superficially attractive of course (as can older women), but there just wouldn't be enough shared experience of the world.

 

Most of my friends, female as well as male, are a bit younger than me so that may be a factor.

[Reflective82]

You say not conciously but it just seems like such a co incidence to me that sooo many guys go for younger and younger women! I definitely do not want to be with a guy my age as I don't want the feeling of being replaced by a younger model....

[allcity]

It's the same risk for us guys, though. Sometimes guys with younger GF's get ditched and their exes go out with someone their own age. Getting replaced one day is just a risk anyone takes when dating isn't it? I don't think it makes much difference whether they ditch us for younger or older people...it's still the same heartbreak and feelings of 'what have they got that I haven't?' Besides, you're only 27...isn't it a little early to be having these worries?

[EssexMan]

You say not conciously but it just seems like such a co incidence to me that sooo many guys go for younger and younger women!

 

I'm sure there are sometimes show-off aspects to it.

 

But it may also be an evolutionary thing. Guys remain fertile much later in life than women so a guy, once he reaches a certain stage, is going to maximise his chances of fatherhood and perpetuating his genes if he goes for younger women. That would be a completely unconscious process, of course (I absolutely don't want children, but that instinct may still be hard-wired into me).

 

I definitely do not want to be with a guy my age as I don't want the feeling of being replaced by a younger model....

 

Would it be worse to be replaced by a younger model than an older one, or one of the same age? If so, does that say something about your own attitudes to your own age?

[Reflective82]

For me, it would be way worse to be replaced by younger. I know this is quite unusual for a woman of 27 because I look young- but I guess it just plays into the insecurity of not being as young or attractive. I personally think women can look great into their 40s and beyond, but I just see so much youth obsession from men everywhere that I now feel I can't date men less than 4 years older than me....and I have yet to see things that prove me wrong. Of course I'm not saying there are no instances where men are with women the same age or older, but the vast majority of the time it seems men are going for younger women and breaking up with women for younger women....

[quirky]

Younger women are more easily impressed by older men than are women of an age. They don't demand as much emotionally or have as many dealbreakers as older women, because they don't know any better. Makes a man feel good about himself if he can snag a younger woman. That's my theory.

 

I agree with that

 

not to mention their sex drive is more signifcant

 

I am 34 and most of my ex's had lower sex drive than me, 3 of them were younger.

 

 

A common perception is a man has 'done well' if he has found himself a pretty woman. I know I'll be flamed but from my observations many men don't need much to date a woman, as long as she is good looking, fun and relatively smart she can find a guy (a younger woman often fits the above) Women on the other hand have more criteria, all the above plus to for him to be supportive, responsible, intelligent, career focused..(older guys often fit the above).

 

I'm even starting to rule out men who are only 3 years older, as I'd quite like to date someone 10 years older so I feel like the "young" one.

 

I personally am not attracted to most older guys because I find they get tired easily and need to sleep early, may have back problems or lack of stamina for sex. But like you I am considering them more now because I am at an age that makes a 30 something guy run..lol

[EssexMan]

I just see so much youth obsession from men everywhere

 

I think a very large proportion of that youth obsession is coming from media, the fashion industry and so on rather than from actual ordinary men. (And sometimes, yeah, persuading impressionable men to be youth-obsessed.)

[Reflective82]

Hmmm, I don't know. I'd say it's (some) men that are the ones having affairs with women 15 years younger. Maybe it's just a certain type of guy that does this but you hear about it a lot. Whereas the media has actually been celebrating older women for quite a while now- there are tons that look fantastic. But a lot that have been left for younger. Donald Trump one example.

[craigslist]

Wow, many comments here. Some I agree with (i.e. younger girls are easier to impress) and some I don't...but its not about seeking a younger woman hey...its about finding the right one. So here's the kicker, younger women usually have less issues...they are easier to get along with...up to a point though! I love dancing, and I've been dancing a while now, and not waka waka dance, proper ballroom and latin, especially now ceroc en salsa...so when a lady tells me I may not dance with another girl...well that's when the age starts showing! So here I am thinking I need to concentrate on women my own EQ (no matter the age) but age does seem to have an input somehow. Your question does carry weight, why do we older (I'm 34 now) tend to go for younger girls? Well blatantly its easier, sorry to say it but its the truth, but only up to that point where their EQ leaves them wanting. Where are you mid thirties women with life and love in you??? I would love to meet one of you one day...but alas I think you've already been taken for good. Well so is my luck...guess its back to the younger girls...they've never tasted oysters yet, or went scuba...see easy. I'll die alone I guess, but I'll have fun on the way.

[EssexMan]

Whereas the media has actually been celebrating older women for quite a while now- there are tons that look fantastic.

 

Sure. But the tone of that celebration is usually "doesn't she look great for 45!". The assumption being that a woman of, say, 25 is obviously great, and that it's surprising when a woman 20 years older is.

[camus154]

Patrice O'Neal (R.I.P.) did a great comedy bit about this very thing.

 

There's one very obvious, very simple answer to this. Because younger women have younger bodies.

[needhelp6]

Men- thoughts?

First off I'm sorry to hear about the situation with your father. I'm sure that's hurtful for both you and your mother.

 

You were kind enough to post on one of my recent threads so I thought I'd contribute to this one with my current first hand take. As you know the FWB I had, now "friends casually dating" is almost 20 years my Jr. In my case SHE positioned herself (literally) and approached me as available and interested. After a couple of months of the FWB arrangement she made it clear to she wanted more of a traditional dating relationship (please don't take this as I wasn't interested, in fact I was sending mixed signals regarding FWB and dating, so I own this too). Point is, in this case, she was the pursuer of the older gentleman. Maybe many younger women are seeking older guys, it does take two.

 

Since my break-up I've had several people tell me, "when you're ready to date again let me know, I know this great gal . . ." and then they'll go on to tell me about their cousin, friend, sister, co-worker etc. In EVERY case where they've discussed age the woman is my Jr., in all cases not as extreme as my current friend, but sizable age differences nonetheless. My point is, maybe there is a shortage single women my age (mid 40s) and thus the option is to go older or younger and guys are going younger vs. older. I'm trying to think of the women who I work with, most of the women my age are in relationships, its the younger women who are single. Now this could be an anomaly, maybe I live in a bizarro world but that's been my very brief experience.

 

Down the road would I be opposed to a relationship with someone my age. No, not at all. As I stated, my ex was in my age group and even though we're no longer together I view her as one of the most beautiful, sexy, intelligent, active and interesting women I know. Should she decide to date she'll be a hell of a catch for the man who is lucky enough to be with her.

 

Just another perspective.

[quirky]

Patrice O'Neal (R.I.P.) did a great comedy bit about this very thing.

 

There's one very obvious, very simple answer to this. Because younger women have younger bodies.

 

That is so depressing..

[needhelp6]

That is so depressing..

 

Doesn't this also go both ways? I don't claim to be an expert in women, however, don't women admire a guy with a nice tone younger body vs. say some middle age guy who no matter how hard you workout and diet you just can't compete with a guy in his mid 20s with a fast metabolism?

 

In the past 5 years there's been more media coverage of "cougars" than I've ever seen, hell, I don't even think I knew what a cougar was 5 years ago, was it even a term? There are now websites dedicated to finding older women younger guys. Seems equal opportunity to me.

[quirky]

It doesn't go both ways for me because most likely, I will not have that much to discuss with someone more than 3 years younger than me. So.. no matter how good he looks, he'll be fun but I'll probably be more mature and it will get frustrating. Plus looks is not a priority..for me enthusiasm is.

 

You're right about the term cougar though, it has become more popular..

[Blue Spiral]

Here's my attempt at a comprehensive list of reasons why men tend to prefer younger women:

 

1. Younger women, on average, tend to be hotter.

 

2. Younger women are more naive and easier to lie to/mislead.

 

3. Life (and my gender!) turns many women bitter and gives them baggage; younger women tend to be less bitter and have less baggage. They're more fun and less complicated to deal with.

 

4. Most men seem to have sexual hang-ups involving guilt--i.e., "sex is bad on some level, so someone's number of partners matters." Younger women tend to have smaller numbers.

 

5. Older women tend to be more serious about life, commitment, and expectations. Many older men...tend not to be. Plus, women tend to value stability and security, and more older men than younger men have that, which makes it a natural pairing. I imagine it's a lot easier to impress a younger woman with your salary and house than it is an older woman who has the same level of success.

 

6. Did I mention we're superficial? Because we totally are. I can't emphasize that enough.

[happpybear]

when i turned 30, my (a-hole) BF at the time pointed out to me that guys dont like to admit there GF's are in their thirties.

 

i had never thought that age was an issue, until that point. I started to realize that most guys i new were in their thirties, but dating or pursuing much younger woman. One friend kept complaining that the girls he met were flaky, and ditzy and didn't know where they were going in life. i asked what there average age was and he said "23" he is 33. I told him to start dating older girls who are likely more grounded, or heaven forbid, a girl his own age *shock*, he didn't take my advice

 

All i know is that it is frustrating when all the guys your own age are looking for the younger girls. I guess that leaves me the late 30-40 years old men. Like quirky said, the older these guys get the less stamina, and i ave a high sex drive. My last two bf's were older than me by 3-4 years, and even in just their mid-thirties, they didn't have the stamina to keep up with me in the sack. or in life in general.