XBF only calls when he's DRUNK!?!?!?

[TrueHeart]

I never can figure men out.. My XBF always calls me to talk/chat/do something when he's heavily intoxicated or well on his way. Just last night he kept texting me saying he's wasted, wanting me to come over to have sex, and so on.. After telling me earlier that day that he's busy and won't talk to me until Sunday. In addition, he's made it very clear that we are not ever going to reconcile ever again, and that he "just doesn't love me like he used to". But that he loves me, wants to see me-- blah blah blah

 

Why does he do that? I answered some of his texts, but not all. He even asked me why I was acting "weird" because I haven't been calling/seeing him lately. He really hurt me when he told me that "I was taking our relationship too seriously." I did once go to his house when he was drunk, we slept together and the whole thing.... the next day, he woke up and didn't even know I was there or what happened..

 

Help!

[JonnyG]

Guys have a habit of getting hornier when they are drunk. Hence the reason why they often drop their standards and try chatting up a girl they wouldn't be interested in if they were sober.

 

Its kind of the same with ex gfs that they are not interested in anymore. When they get drunk they get hornier and more lonely and so they look for an easy way out i.e. the ex. At the time they think its a great idea, but then they wake up the next day and their attitude will have changed cause they are sober again.

[Scout]

I hate to tell you this, but these are "booty calls", and that's it. You are wise to not answer them, because obviously, you don't want to be the ex girlfriend who now just settles for scraps of sex whenever your ex is in the mood.

[TrueHeart]

And I certainly don't because even though he does still love me, I take sex very seriously-- its more emotional for me, and I cannot connect with someone like that if I know they're just going to push me away in the end...

 

I just dont know how to keep confronting this issue.. He's such a bad alcoholic.. He told me I was 'acting weird lately' probably because I've been distant since he told me I was taking the relationship too seriously. I also have been sort of 'dating' someone else... not officially, but I'm rather exclusive to him. He is aware that my X still calls, but there is no problem there.. Honestly, I have little to no interest to even be intimate with him-- even though its my hearts desire.

 

Trying to date others has really helped me to cope with the time it will take to heal. I do love his friendship, but I cannot stand these out-cries for attention on that level.. Just proves he doesnt respect me as much as he claims...

[Matt01]

Even though hes your ex, you havent really left him yet. Be smart about this, leave him and find a real guy that will treat you right. Don't get caught up in a stupid game like this.

[peanut15]

Simple answer...change your phone number. He's using you.

[TrueHeart]

We spoke last night and it almost was a the same song and dance. Him attempting to make me feel guilty because he 'claims he loves me too much and thats why he hurts'-- his Guilt Trip 101 speech. He's using the love we have as a trump card to tug at my heart strings, I know that.

 

Still, I cannot figure him out-- and I have started seeing a nice man who does respect and treat me nicely. He adores me and I share the same adoration.

 

With Adam (my ex) its just difficult at times to even attempt a friendship. I always feel myself getting sucked back into him, and then he hurts me again either by my feelings or mentally. Truly he isn't a bad guy, its just I cannot stand these drunken outbursts!!!

 

How should I confront this issue?? I do value his friendship... But I am having a hard time wondering if its worth it.

[lady00]

Peanut is right...change your number and if he tries to talk to you in other ways, don't respond. Your ex has been treating you badly...and you have a new bf who treats you well...so why not just ditch the ex altogether? Why try being friends with someone who acts like that?

[outrageousxo]

sadsafsvcxvdfg

 

fsdfsagdfg

[evy38]

I hate to tell you this, but these are "booty calls", and that's it. You are wise to not answer them, because obviously, you don't want to be the ex girlfriend who now just settles for scraps of sex whenever your ex is in the mood.

 

You are so right Scout. Anyman that would do that to a woman has no respect for her. He convinces himself, if he even thnks of you at all, that his behavior is ok by you because you let it happen.

[TrueHeart]

Thanks folks...

 

A breif update..

 

Since he now knows that I have a new BF, he pulled the whole "I've been hurt again, my heart is broken" line-- even though he pushed me away months ago, he acted like I broke his heart by moving on (which was exactly what he told me to do)-- Its just I couldn't win.

 

I haven't heard from him, seen him or spoken to him in a week... I don't think that he will ever call again, but I will expect it will be because he wants to 'find out how im doing'-- either way.. Its no great loss..