My ex's best friend is my co-worker. I'm gonna quit my job.

[PrettyGood]

How stupid am I not to learn from my own mistakes?

 

LONG STORY SHORT: I met my ex at my last workplace, so I was dating my co-worker. Finally I was fired under uncertain conditions and my ex also dumped me after a while. I hated that job and now I found an identical one at another company. Now my ex's best friend is my co-worker. My ex always comes to chat and drive him home after work. It drives me crazy to see his best friend all the time at the same environment. He tells everything to my ex about me and I don't behave with him nicely. I don't say "hello" to him, I ignore him when he talks in the meetings, I avoid his sight and turn my back when he pass by, I totally hate him because he's in my ex side! I work under huge stressful conditions and I don't make any profit for the company! Our daily profit results are written on the blackboard in our room and he can see that I'm doing 1/4 of the daily profit only. His best friend is making huge profit for the company. It makes me jealous and I feel like a loser. When I found job he notified my ex that now we are co-workers. I asked him never mention me to him again. My ex haven't contacted me in a while but I still feel stuck in healing, because I feel connected to him through his best friend! I'm seriously thinking to quit this job even though I haven't passed 2 weeks there from the time they hired me. I can't sleep at night and I hate to go there every single morning and work till the late evening. I haven't earned anything and I signed in the contract to pay a huge fine if I decide to quit. I don't know what they both think of me after I quit so soon, but I'm really frustrated and tired of all this stupid daily situation

 

What do you think guys, huh?

[Autumnleaves]

Why give your ex the satisfaction of seeing you quit. You have to think how it would also look on any future applications for work. I personally would hold my head up high, go to work & put every effort into the job. Don't let them beat you down.

 

He's your ex, him and his friend shouldn't be having this kind of power over you.

[Lambert]

I was all for quitting until I read the part about the fine. Can you afford it? Can you get yourself fired?

 

If you have to work there, you probably should re-adjust your attitude towards the ex's bf. At least act professional. You are making yourself look like an immature ass. He's the man's BF, what do you expect, of course he is on his side. But aside from that, if he hasn't done anything to you, then you are just being b*tch for the sake of being it. Think a little growing up is needed here.

[lavenderdove]

OK, first you have to realize you are doing a number on yourself in your own head. So what if he friend works there. Who cares! It's a job, and focus on the job. These people are really NOTHING to you now that you broke up with him, so ignore them in the same way you would ignore any other co-worker.

 

So work on letting go of both the idea of your ex and caring about what your co-worker does in his spare time. Google 'thought stopping' and start practicing it to stop thinking about both the ex AND his friend. When you've worked out your contract, then you can quit if you are still annoyed by all this, but it is better to try to get control of your thoughts using thought stopping so that you can finish this job up and not pay a penalty.

[nutbrownhare]

If that were me, I'd be really, really nice to the ex's friend. As it is, you are making it very clear to everyone why the guy dumped you.

 

On the other hand, if you were to be pleasant, courteous and professional it would mean that you'd be happier at work and so would everyone else. As it is, you are feeding stuff to the best friend to gossip about with your ex; if you were to change your manner then there'd be nothing to talk about.

 

It takes a lot of energy to be rude to someone consistently, and it's energy you're not putting into your work. It sounds as though you could really learn from this guy and improve your own performance in the workplace - you don't have to be blatant about this! - and doing well for yourself is the best way, well, of feeling better about everything.

[PrettyGood]

I was all for quitting until I read the part about the fine. Can you afford it?

 

My fine is equal to my first salary, so it means that when I get my first salary, quit and pay a penalty/fine, then I will quick having 0 earned. So I can't quit while I haven't got any salary yet, because I will get minus in my account. On the other hand, I really REALLY hate my job. I'm working in active sales. That means I need to call to thousands of people and convince them to buy on the phone what they haven't planned to buy. I mean various kinds of crap! I don't know how to do that because I'm too sincere in my life and I don't give a ... if they don't want to buy them - I understand them, not my company. My ex's BF is totally different person - he can sell this crap by not caring if people spent their last money on this crap. He cares only about his salary and bonuses. His results are very high on that public table and mine results are equal to zero, so I feel like a loser. Plus he always looks to my results and it drives me crazy! I seriously don't want to work there any longer after I get my first salary because I'm going crazy!

 

 

These people are really NOTHING to you now that you broke up with him, so ignore them in the same way you would ignore any other co-worker.

 

It's easier said than done. That guy was talking ... behind my back all the time when I was in relationship with my ex. And he's such a cheap person in his moral that I even hate to look to his eyes. I just can't stand in the same environment and to concentrate when I want to quit my job and calm down.

[PrettyGood]

If that were me, I'd be really, really nice to the ex's friend. As it is, you are making it very clear to everyone why the guy dumped you.

 

I don't really care if it makes clear why the guy dumped me, because he treated me like a trash and his friend did the same at that time. I was surprised when I saw him for the first time at that company after they hired me. I hate my ex so much that I really don't want him back in no way. Additionally to that, this best friend of him has a very beautiful appearance and sadly for my 99% of other co-workers who are females having crush on him - my exe's and his best friend's target was always to find as much girls to have s.x with for free and to lie about feelings. So those girls really want to get messed with this emotionless pig and to be abused!

[electricorchid]

If I were you, I would apply for other jobs in the mean time, better than the one you have now and see if you get one. Then quit. I honestly wouldnt want to be in that environment anymore If i were you, I am all for eliminating the people in your life that are trying to bring you down. It's not giving your ex the satisfaction that you quit but rather just eliminating yourself from the situation I think. If your ex and his friends are really huge jerks, get out of there and start over with your life, because you deserve that.

[PrettyGood]

If I were you, I would apply for other jobs in the mean time, better than the one you have now and see if you get one. Then quit. I honestly wouldnt want to be in that environment anymore If i were you, I am all for eliminating the people in your life that are trying to bring you down. It's not giving your ex the satisfaction that you quit but rather just eliminating yourself from the situation I think. If your ex and his friends are really huge jerks, get out of there and start over with your life, because you deserve that.

 

Thank you, electricorchid, I really feel the same way. I will get my first salary and then I will quit, because I just can't move on while there is a past hanging in my sight. I want to start over freshly without any ex reminders left in my way.

[lavenderdove]

Honey, there will always, always be annoying people at work you have to deal with. You need to learn how to strengthen your emotional defenses and learn how to focus on what is important to you (your job, earning a living) and not on some other annoying person who happens to drift in and out of your realm. If you are focusing on YOU and doing interesting and challenging things in your life, you won't focus on things you can't control, like this guy.

 

You look at it as now is the time to learn how to deal with your emotions and working on accepting that you can't control other people, and who cares if he's a person you don't like. The world is full of wonderful people, but it is also full of jerks, and you will always encounter them, so you need to learn how to deal with them and not let them derail your whole life just because they happen to drift thru your realm.

 

I understand your desire to start over, but if you signed a contract that is going to peanlize you for it, then you need to evaluate whether you can accept that penalty or not. If is is something you can financially bear, then go ahead and quit. If it is not, then now could be a good time to learn how to detach emotionally from things you can't control rather than being obssessed by them. If you have company insurance, then you should consider going to a counselor to help you detach.

[blueidealist24]

How long is it until you get that first salary? A year, or shorter? I was all for you quitting until I read that part about the fine.. wouldn't want you losing money.

 

As for the sales, you have only been there less than two weeks, your quota (or whatever the term they use is) should probably go up later as you get more experienced.