soapsudz Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 My B/F and i have been going out for a little over 2 months. he cheated on me a week ago but we are ok again. since then though he has been pressuring me into doing stuff... i haven't done anything yet but thats not the problem... the problem is i've never done anything in my life.. and i have so many questions that would b kind of awkward asking ppl i know. like when he fingers me what's supposed to happen? what should i do? and what do i do to give him a hand job? and what do i do with my hands? i need a lot of advice SOMEONE please help me! im really confused! we also fight a lot because he pressures me... it's not that really, it's the fact that i want to do stuff... but i don't know how, or what to do. My Best friend told me to just go along with it but im still kind of afraid.. HELP ME PLEASE! Link to comment
wanderer Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 you're asking for advice... here's mine: you're not ready. from the wy you're describing the situation, it doesn't seem like you're ready for that level of physical contact... think about whether or not you really want to do this kind of stuff so early. i will say that 2 months into your first relationship is nothing. there shouldn't be any pressure on you to do anything when you're this inexperienced. let him know if you're not ready, he has to respect your feelings on this. don't rush things is my advice. Link to comment
soapsudz Posted October 30, 2004 Author Share Posted October 30, 2004 when a guy fingers you is something supposed to come out? and what do i do if something does? Link to comment
dizzymeg Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 ok, listen to yourself. 1) he cheated on you A WEEK ago 2) he is now pressuring you into doing things you don't seem to want to do 3) you don't know how to act -when he does/ if he were to do- those things Well, personally, if it was me he'd be out the door faster than he could say he's 'soooo sorry'. I think cheating on someone is the ultimate in disresect. Also he did not respect your choice to wait by going somewhere else to get what he wanted. And he's still not respecting you by pressuring you repeatedly. If you wanted to do those things, you wouldn't be asking questions on Enotalone.com, right. Furthermore, if he cheated on you and you guys have done stuff...I'd get tested for STD's. So in conclusion I think you should really think about the benefits of your relationship. Do you love him? Does he love you?? You are very young still and thats not a bad thing. I think he sounds like a dud and you can do much better. You will know when you are ready for your first time. It should be with somebody really special because thats something thats going to stick with you for the rest of your life. Link to comment
dizzymeg Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 as far as your other questions go: when a guy fingers you, it is supposed to feel good. That is, if he's doing i right.. You are supposed to just sit back, relax, and enjoy. Or give him a handjob, or knit, watch TV, talk on the phone, whatever you want to do. If it feels uncomfortable, mentally (you don't feel ready) or physically (it hurts), simply ask him to stop. If he is a good guy he will. And then maybe you could try something else...or just stop and cuddle or go home or, you know, whatever. Some women do ejaculate upon orgasm, others don't. Most women get 'wet' or lubricated in preparation for sex with stimulation down there. Whatever happens, its natural, don't be embarrassed. And don't do anything you're not ready for. I can't tell you how many girls I've talked to that wish they waited longer, or for somebody better... Link to comment
Francis Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 I am afraid I agree with everything Dizzimeg said. I hope it is enough to convince you. Be careful, you don't want to start your romantic life the wrong way : people get used to abuse and you may get started on the wrong pattern. He cheated, you should seriously consider leave him. (I would not stay.) Take care. Link to comment
bored Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 dude cheated on u and ur gonna give him a handjob? im sorry but ur not very bright when it comes to relationships ...but if u REALLY wanna know go practice on a banana just stroke it up and down haha Link to comment
soapsudz Posted October 30, 2004 Author Share Posted October 30, 2004 Ok ppl.. just to give more info on this.... when he cheated on me it wasn't like sex or anything a gurl gave him a hand job.. and i never did anything with him b4. as for the im so sorry thing, He's never apolijized in his LIFE not even when he called his dad a dumbass or anything.. kinda weird i know.. but he apolijized to me the day i found out so it wasn't horrible. Thank you for all the comments anymore advice would help but i think i got the jist... AND get over the cheating thing.. I believe in second chances and i get enough crap from eveyone at school.. i came here for advice not ya'll telling me to dump him cuza the cheating when thats not what i need help with.... THANKS again peace.... Link to comment
Francis Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 It is very good that you know what you want. You are a strong girl and you seem to be capable to handle the situation. You will find a lot of valuable information about sexuality in COSMOPOLITAN. Try to find the older issues in a library, but don't tell everybody, or they might cancel their subscription! Take care! Link to comment
Dgirllamius Posted October 30, 2004 Share Posted October 30, 2004 If he is pressurising you into stuff you OBVIOUSLY don't want to do. You should never be pressured into something you don't want. I can clearly see you are not ready by the way you have discribed things... Also, this guy cheated on you? Why are you still with him? A leopard can't change it's spots, and the chances of it happening again are very high. I'd say dump him, get him out of your life than worry about what you have to do. Link to comment
soapsudz Posted October 31, 2004 Author Share Posted October 31, 2004 P.S. IF ONE MORE PERSON SAYS TO DUMP HIM IM GOING TO FRIGGIN FREAK! leave the cheating thing ALONE! ive dealt with that already... Link to comment
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