Longest relationship ive had was 2 weeks!!!!

[pinoy]

Im suffering from intimacy phobia. Im a successful 28 yr old guy. Im branded as mr nice guy by my peers and family but i cant seem to make a relationship with a girl work. The moment things start to get intimate, I automatically retreat with all the possible alibis i can think of as an excuse to back-out of the relationship. I wana get married and have children in the future but cant seem to even start a relationship. I want help but dont know where to seek help.........Id also appreciate correspondence from people suffereing from the same dilemma......HELP!!!!!!!!

[gelsey]

The first part of defeating a phobia is finding its root. Search your past and discover all the reasons you are afraid of intimacy. Its possible you are afraid of getting hurt so you back out before its possible, but you have to find the roots as to why you do this. Once you discover the roots, you have to release excess baggage or you'll have no room for the new luggage! A good way of doing this is to choose one person you feel comfortable with to talk about your problem and do so freely. In addition to this you should find a release technique-- do you like to write, listen to music, draw, paint, etc.? You can use your individual creative outlet to release your fears of intimacy and thereforeeeeeee recieving free therapy. If all else fails, there's no shame in counseling and who knows-- maybe you just haven't found that person you can feel comfortable enough with to give your trust and love to! I hope you defeat the problem! If you need to talk, my email address is email removed. You're welcome to write.

[SwingFox]

Hi Pinoy,

 

First of all welcome to eNotalone.com and thank you for coming to us for seeking advice. I am sorry to hear that you have difficulties getting intimate with a woman. I understand that as soon as you get close, you'll try to back out again.

 

Before anything else, I have to tell you that you are halfways, by acknowledging that you might have a problem. So, that's really good. I would really suggest that you get some sort of counseling. What you could use could be professional help, because it looks like that you have some issues. What I can think of is that you have been (ab)used in your past or pestered BIG time, so that you have some issues regarding confidence, self esteem and security. Professional help will help you through that.

 

I hope that you liked this suggestion and I wish you a happy future. I am sure you can make it through. Like I said: you're halfways already. I wish you good luck!

 

~ SwingFox ~