radiohead20 Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 Those of you that have made a conscious effort, for whatever reason, to "give up" on dating or trying to attract women, how are things going? How long has it been since you have "given up"? Has "given up" ironically made it easier to find someone? How are you coping and what is it like? What was the original reason for "giving up"? Link to comment
chamachama Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 Its been three days Link to comment
FYI Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 I wouldn't say that it's become any easier, but it has allievated a lot of stress. Link to comment
Chalk Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 Ha, when I gave up my now ex walked into my life. So now I am truly giving up for a while!! But when I gave up before I was more focused on having fun with my friends & I was happy & more confident for it. Link to comment
Esteller Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 I have to agree with you chalk being much happier when you quit looking and put your energy in focusing having fun with friends and family. I just got out of a relationship and I'm just at the point of giving up looking and put the energy towards myself. Link to comment
Animal Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 Those of you that have made a conscious effort, for whatever reason, to "give up" on dating or trying to attract women, how are things going? How long has it been since you have "given up"? Has "given up" ironically made it easier to find someone? How are you coping and what is it like? What was the original reason for "giving up"? I gave up 20 years ago, and haven't tried for anyone since. Check the link in my sig for the reason I gave up. And coping? What's that? Link to comment
Heather Dawn Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 I gave up 20 years ago, and haven't tried for anyone since. Check the link in my sig for the reason I gave up. And coping? What's that? Just read your story, Animal. Yikes. Sorry to hear you let an incident in college (with what amounts to a rebuff from a crush) keep you from EVER trying again...or, from what it sounds like, any sort of happiness at all. And, for the record, I don't agree that dating is just for people with money or good looks; I've seen many poor, homely couples out there who are happy as can be. Link to comment
truman2017 Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 Those of you that have made a conscious effort, for whatever reason, to "give up" on dating or trying to attract women, how are things going? How long has it been since you have "given up"? Has "given up" ironically made it easier to find someone? How are you coping and what is it like? What was the original reason for "giving up"? 1. two years 2. no 3. doing just fine 4. everyone I meet is married and that wasn't worth the problems Link to comment
llw11 Posted November 12, 2012 Share Posted November 12, 2012 I wouldn't say I've given up but for now I guess I've taken a break. How long has it been since you have "given up"? About 2 months Has "given up" ironically made it easier to find someone? No. For men, there's no such thing as "finding love when you least expect it". We're the ones that actively pursue. Never had a woman fall into my lap (except maybe a stripper, lol!); that sounds too good to be true. The times I've found someone, I've actually looked, prayed, consipred, etc. I don't understand the whole "when you stop trying" thing. How are you coping and what is it like? Well, it feels REALLY REALLY good not having to worry about what someone is doing, or when she's available to hang out, or how much competition I have, etc. It's just me. What was the original reason for "giving up"? Just dating burnout and a minor recent heartbreak. Not sure if I'll get back in the game. I'm getting older and it seems as if there are no sane women over 30 left that aren't hung up on some baggage in the past. I think I'm more prepared than most for a life of being single; I'll do just fine whether there's someone or not. Link to comment
darkheart85 Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 Definitely given up. How long? It's kind of like that sign "x number of days since last accident". Starting at day one again. How am I coping? Not really well, but nothing I can do about it. What was the reason? Constantly being blown off. More recently it was heartbreak. Link to comment
Animal Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 Just read your story, Animal. Yikes. Sorry to hear you let an incident in college (with what amounts to a rebuff from a crush) keep you from EVER trying again...or, from what it sounds like, any sort of happiness at all. And, for the record, I don't agree that dating is just for people with money or good looks; I've seen many poor, homely couples out there who are happy as can be. If it had only been that incident, maybe perhaps I could see maybe trying for someone again, but that, on top of 16 years of bad experiences, rejections,, etc, each one progressively worse than the one before, not a chance. The last previous rejection before that, 4 years earlier, brought me to the brink of a complete nervous breakdown and ending up in a psych ward or worse. I came almost as close to that when I got that letter. There is absolutely no way I can go thru that again. The last counselor I saw said, based on some personality test I took, that dating was simply not my cup of tea, I wasn't cut out for it, that for me, dating was, to quote the movie Wargames, "Like Global Thermonuclear War.... The only winning move is not to play." She added that I would only be begging for further disaster by trying for anyone else. Dating is not for everybody. There are plenty of people who really have no business getting involved with it. I only wish that I'd had the courage to give up back in high school. That would've saved me a whole lot of grief. I'm sure that everyone has heard the old saying, "If you can't take the heat, get out of the kitchen". Well, that's exactly what I did 20 years ago, and haven't been back since, nor will I. Link to comment
Blue Spiral Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 I never tried dating. I gave up on the idea of relationships six years ago. Granted, I never really tried them, either--or at least, I couldn't make them last very long. I feel a lot calmer and more content now. If women come into my life, so be it. I'm not going to exert any real effort to make that happen. Link to comment
Justme3 Posted November 13, 2012 Share Posted November 13, 2012 I gave up 3 months ago. My last break up was horrible. I need some time on my own to heal. Now that I've made a conscious decision to be alone, I'm taking care of myself. I want to enjoy my own company. I guess I kinda want to date myself for a while. I don't plan to date anytime soon. But If someone does cross my path way, and its meant to be somehow, I will be open to dating again. Link to comment
Esteller Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 I gave up 3 months ago. My last break up was horrible. I need some time on my own to heal. Now that I've made a conscious decision to be alone, I'm taking care of myself. I want to enjoy my own company. I guess I kinda want to date myself for a while. I don't plan to date anytime soon. But If someone does cross my path way, and its meant to be somehow, I will be open to dating again. sounds like the best possible route when all else seems to fail. Link to comment
lalalollipops Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 I broke up with somebody I deeply loved in end of July 2010. In Feb of 2011 I had a relationship and it was pretty much a fiasco cos I wasn't over the other guy. Too many nights I would be talking or cuddling with the guy and felt distant and tears would be falling. Sex never lasted longer than 5-6 minutes bc something in my head was yelling 'NO'.' Anyway I dumped the guy after 4.5 months and spend more time to heal. Even though I've now ended things with another guy, I also fell in love with this one so I know I'd be spending lots of time to work through my emotions, I don't mind being alone. Link to comment
Trinity11 Posted November 19, 2012 Share Posted November 19, 2012 I feel like ive given up most of the time. I have sex rarely, its just not me to hook up with people to relieve my urges (have tried and bailed when I realize..nope can't do it). Right now...I could use some pretty badly lol! Since breaking up officially in May and then dating the ex with success and then ultimate failure in July... I joined a dating site..met up with a few people. Now I have exhausted all my local avenues of interest there and I am bored bored. Haven't gone out in a little while as I have been putting close to my entire paycheck into my residency application. So I'm bored and giving up. Lucky now there is snow, I can take my frustrations out on the mountain on my snowboard. Link to comment
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