s/o says 'i love you' first, youre not ready yet

[scared and alone]

what do you say back? Are you honest? do you say it back?

[pippy longstocking]

I wouldnt say it back if I wasn't in that place

[alertstatusred]

I think you should be honest and say that you don't feel ready. It's better to say it when you genuinely do feel that way, rather than tell a lie.

[ehfar]

Don't say it. Saying it and not meaning it is so much worse than not being ready. A sweet hug in reply is totally acceptable, no need to say anything back, really. But you should never say anything you don't mean. That's just such a mistake.

[DN]

No, you shouldn't, but you should be prepared for the relationship to be different, or even to end. And if you do decide you love him later then you must say it first because he is unlikely to again until you do.

[cadmiumblue]

Why does anyone ever have to say "I love you"? Why can't people just show, rather than say?

 

The word "love" is completely worthless in English anyway, since you can love a book you just read or a latte at Starbucks.

[Deejmonster]

I would be directly honest. However, I have never had this happen. I really dont know what I would do if faced with this situation. DN makes a smart point that things would utterly change if not end soon afterwards.

 

Has this happened to you? or are you just curious?

[greywolf]

"It makes me happy that you do." Easy.

[Moontiger]

This happened to me in my last relationship. I think I said, "I'm falling in love with you."

 

Just be honest. If they are being truthful with the L word they will wait for you to be ready. Its a very important and powerful word when used correctly.

[scared and alone]

I would be directly honest. However, I have never had this happen. I really dont know what I would do if faced with this situation. DN makes a smart point that things would utterly change if not end soon afterwards.

 

Has this happened to you? or are you just curious?

 

This has happened to me, and i was honest. but this question is i am just curious how other people handle, would handle, it. the reason why i posted this was i just saw it on something i was watching it and made me think of what others would do.

[sb12]

That happened with me -- I said "I love you" first, and she kind of paused. I then told her that it was okay if she didn't feel right saying it right then and there, and you shouldn't. If you don't feel like you're at that stage, don't lie and say that you do. She eventually said I love you back, and that was enough for me.

 

I would imagine that if I were in that situation, I would have done the same thing. I would have paused, had to think, and evaluate my feelings. It helps to not have a lover who is pressuring you.

[kate150]

Why does anyone ever have to say "I love you"? Why can't people just show, rather than say?

 

The word "love" is completely worthless in English anyway, since you can love a book you just read or a latte at Starbucks.

 

What do other people think about this? Is showing your love enough? Or do the words really make a difference?

[DN]

Of course they make a difference. We are human beings who have evolved to use language. Some are better at it than others but we communicate best through language - if we didn't, we wouldn't need it.

[lalalollipops]

If you don't love someone, please don't just say it back. Tell them you care about them but you're not quite there emotionally yet.

It takes me ages to fall in love, and from my experiences, most guys I've been with tell me they love me within a month and a half (which is WAY too soon). Just say it when you're ready.