Seriously need help :(

[mypain]

Hi,

 

 

I was married to my wife for 8 1/2 years before we got separated on good terms by her choice almost 1 1/2 years ago, we have a beautiful child together aswell. My problem is as follows and has been so hard to deal with I feel as I am going to lose it sometimes. About 3 months ago she started going out with someone and I didn't actually find out until a month afterwards, at the time we were still talking and everything but not as much as lately, well anyways about 1 month ago she broke up with him and started talking to me and hanging out with me which made me so happy and gave me the hope that maybe there was a chance we could get back together again. Well about 2 weeks ago she started speaking to the boyfriend she had had and now they have gotten back together I still speak to her on a daily basis and we also occasionaly cross with eachother because we live in a really small place. The thing is that this is driving me crazy because I am still very much in love with my ex-wife, I have not even dated anyone yet holding on for her and for the simple fact that I feel she is the one for me and have not been able to move on. She knows how I feel for her and she knows how much all this has hurt me, especially after all that she had told me about her bf when they split up and that she wasn't happy with him etc... she even told me she had feelings for me and always would, and I also said that maybe fate would bring us back together in the future and thats what I hoped for. I honestly don't know what to do, I have been trying to stay out of the picture and have not gotten involved in their relationship at all hoping that she would respect that, the thing is that the jealousy is eating away at me and I have been suffering heavy depression from all this and I honestly cannot understand why she is doing this to me knowing how I feel about her. Her current bf doesn't know anything about how close we still remain I think but she has also told me that I need to move on with my life as she does, and that it was not fair that she had to think about me or worry about how I would feel when she thought about getting back together with her previous bf. Unfortunately I am one of those hopeless romantic types and letting go has been next to impossible for me, can anyone please help me because I am truly and honestly suffering?

 

Thank you,

Me

[solstice48]

You must be a strong person to have gone through so much pain & still feel the way you do. I'm sure its been a tough road for you! I'm going through some rough times myself. Married for 25 yrs & the wife says she wants to find herself. Well that was about 3 months ago & I'm still dealing with it. Your situation seems to be dragging out & its probably not doing you any good. You need to start thinking about yourself & what you really want. It seems your wife realizes this & is telling you that you need to move on for your own good. If you were to get back together how would you feel? You know things would not be as they once were & that your relationship would be somewhat tarnished. It takes a strong commitment from 2 people to make any kind of reconcilation work. Try to get outside of all your going through & take a good look at the whole picture. Good luck & I hope you find your answer.