Blocked ex on FB. Her friends say it's "childish and rude."

[Maroon]

After much thought and after reading stories here on ENA, I decided to block my ex, the dumper, on Facebook weeks ago. I figured it was best for my healing and recovery.

 

Afterwards, I received messages from the dumper's friends, saying that my decision was "rude, childish, and quite immature." Incidentally, my ex didn't block me from her Facebook account or any other social media sites. I don't really know why. Perhaps, she wanted to be friends.

 

I stand by my decision to block my ex on FB. It might be rude to some people, but there are things we must do for our own good. Thanks ENAers for the great advice!

[markie6]

Anybody who thinks blocking is childish or immature .... doesnt have a clue. How can self preservation be immature and childish, my guess is the are 12-15 ... could be age or IQ i dunno

[Avila]

I wouldn't think any more about what her friends said. It's not immature or rude. If it helps you heal than that's all there is to it. Tbh they sound immature and rude. Why do her friends feel the need to tell you that anyway?!

[Maroon]

Anybody who thinks blocking is childish or immature .... doesnt have a clue. How can self preservation be immature and childish, my guess is the are 12-15 ... could be age or IQ i dunno

 

Exactly. Thanks Markie!

 

Retaining the Facebook connection would not ease the pain felt by both dumper and dumpee.

[Maroon]

I wouldn't think any more about what her friends said. It's not immature or rude. If it helps you heal than that's all there is to it. Tbh they sound immature and rude. Why do her friends feel the need to tell you that anyway?!

 

Very true. I suppose her friends are just being loyal to her and defending her.

[Roxie84]

they sound extremely immature. so she breaks up wth you, you decide to move forward without her, she has a tantrum because you're not begging her to take you back, so her little friends yell at you? Because the telephone and email have gone extinct and facebook is the only form of communcation you will ever have available again? Damnnn I hope you find her and her friends as funny and, honestly, pathetic as I do lol

[Maroon]

they sound extremely immature. so she breaks up wth you, you decide to move forward without her, she has a tantrum because you're not begging her to take you back, so her little friends yell at you? Because the telephone and email have gone extinct and facebook is the only form of communcation you will ever have available again? Damnnn I hope you find her and her friends as funny and, honestly, pathetic as I do lol

 

Thanks Roxie! I appreciate your thoughts.

 

I don't know why her friends have been quite hostile to me online and offline. I guess they are not aware how much my ex meant to me. At one point after the break up, I even told my ex how much I love her right in front of her parents.

 

At some point, she and her friends even attacked me on Facebook. Their comments didn't mention my name, but it's easy to read between the lines.

 

I suspect my ex wanted to remain connected through Facebook so that she can show me how happy she is with her new life and new boyfriend.

 

Oh well. I didn't want to do it really, but blocking her on Facebook is for the best,

[Roxie84]

You've done no wrong Maroon, let her and her friends fuel the drama all by themselves

[toby17]

There's a lot of social pressure when you break up to seem unaffected by it.

 

I stayed fb friends with my ex and mostly avoided her page. But when I did look, it would upset me.

 

Finally one day, ironically as a result of something my previous ex did, I decided that maintaining a relationship with either of them was a mistake. At that point, I blocked my ex and haven't looked back since. I also decided, you know what, I'm a grown-up and I don't care what anyone else thinks.

 

Plus, I'm the only one who knows the truth.

[Maroon]

There's a lot of social pressure when you break up to seem unaffected by it.

 

I stayed fb friends with my ex and mostly avoided her page. But when I did look, it would upset me.

 

Finally one day, ironically as a result of something my previous ex did, I decided that maintaining a relationship with either of them was a mistake. At that point, I blocked my ex and haven't looked back since. I also decided, you know what, I'm a grown-up and I don't care what anyone else thinks.

 

Plus, I'm the only one who knows the truth.

 

Hi Toby! Thanks for posting. Are you the dumper or dumpee? Hope you don't mind the question. Did NC and moving on get easier when you deleted your exes on Facebook?

[Maroon]

You've done no wrong Maroon, let her and her friends fuel the drama all by themselves

 

Thanks for the kind words Roxie! I'm no angel, but I know that I loved my ex girlfriend dearly and genuinely.

[dave1981]

So when your ex dumped you , that wasnt deemed as rude ?

Just ignore them, tell them to mind their own business and block them too !

[FrenchFries]

You should block them too. Ha!

[markie6]

I blocked everybody for 6 months.... ( deactivated but now sneaked back on ) now I have lost a few, was to be expected ... blocked a few who I knew would cause problems, but those who I wasn't sure of have been great. Everybody needs a FB friends cull every once in a while , never add everybody... it only becomes apparent at BU time

You should block them too. Ha!

[Doc Blaze]

Yeah man block her friends too..to save yourself more drama...

[RedDress]

Yes - I think it was "rude, childish, and quite immature." of them to jump on their friend's bandwagon and start messaging you about HER feelings. How does any of that have anything to do with them? And if they are the feelings police - what about YOUR feelings?

 

Honestly, it doesn't really sound like these people have the capacity to think for themselves. Your ex clearly went on a rant and they jumped into the drama without first thinking "wait! Does he have a valid reason for this?" (and you do - you broke up...)

 

You don't want friends like this anyways.

[Maroon]

Yes - I think it was "rude, childish, and quite immature." of them to jump on their friend's bandwagon and start messaging you about HER feelings. How does any of that have anything to do with them? And if they are the feelings police - what about YOUR feelings?

 

Honestly, it doesn't really sound like these people have the capacity to think for themselves. Your ex clearly went on a rant and they jumped into the drama without first thinking "wait! Does he have a valid reason for this?" (and you do - you broke up...)

 

You don't want friends like this anyways.

 

Thanks RedDress and everyone for your posts! You made me feel better.

 

The break up was already devastating for me. It became worse when I found out that our mutual friends (FB and non-FB friends mostly in her circle) now have negative impressions of me because of the failed relationship. They even make fun of me at the ex girlfriend's office and social gatherings...

[markie6]

Friends often pick sides , these are all valuable lessons for you as you put this all behind you, all this time you have wasted wondering and worrying about it will not be totally wasted, unless you repeat the mistakes.

Thanks RedDress and everyone for your posts! You made me feel better.

 

The break up was already devastating for me. It became worse when I found out that our mutual friends (FB and non-FB friends mostly in her circle) now have negative impressions of me because of the failed relationship. They even make fun of me at the girlfriend's office and social gatherings...

[Maroon]

Friends often pick sides , these are all valuable lessons for you as you put this all behind you, all this time you have wasted wondering and worrying about it will not be totally wasted, unless you repeat the mistakes.

 

Hey Markie! Understandably, her friends picked her side. This happened also because she talked negatively about me to these people.

 

When you blocked the mutual friends, did it help you move on and recover faster?

[markie6]

I blocked Facebook ... and now I have gone back , lost a few mutuals ..anybody says anything...they get blocked... and mostly people have been great. Of course it has helped that I was away from it for 6 months so things settled down.

 

Now for you , the advice I have given has been heeded ? 1 year on and still posting here about stuff you should have done 1 year ago ..I just hope you're learning , as it is a valuable lesson

[RedDress]

Friends often pick sides , these are all valuable lessons for you as you put this all behind you, all this time you have wasted wondering and worrying about it will not be totally wasted, unless you repeat the mistakes.

 

I agree with this - but just to clarify (and not get jaded) - it is not uncommon for some friends to pick sides. Some people also stand back and try to remain neutral.

 

So... I wouldn't be surprised when this stuff happens... but I also wouldn't jump to the conclusion that everyone will do this.

[markie6]

I take your point completely RD , hence the word often... and not always. I have been helping the OP as much as possible with PM , but I am always happier to throw it out there for all to see, as we know others might be suffering the same problems agree with this - but just to clarify (and not get jaded) - it is not uncommon for some friends to pick sides. Some people also stand back and try to remain neutral.

 

So... I wouldn't be surprised when this stuff happens... but I also wouldn't jump to the conclusion that everyone will do this.

[Maroon]

I take your point completely RD , hence the word often... and not always. I have been helping the OP as much as possible with PM , but I am always happier to throw it out there for all to see, as we know others might be suffering the same problems

 

Thanks Markie and RedDress for all the advice! I've been following them and learning from them.

 

In fairness to her friends, I believe not all of them readily took her side. In fact, one of her closest female friends was unexpectedly very sympathetic to me. This is one of the reasons why my ex girlfriend is upset with me. She believes I turned one of her closest friends against her--which of course I didn't.

[toby17]

Hi Toby! Thanks for posting. Are you the dumper or dumpee? Hope you don't mind the question. Did NC and moving on get easier when you deleted your exes on Facebook?

 

Deleting my ex off FB didn't help me to move on noticeably, but I actually starting enjoying Facebook again. For the first few days, I actually felt like I had a new toy - I felt relieved being able to log in knowing I wouldn't be bothered with anything to do with her.

 

I was the dumped! NC was the only way to go and it was the only thing that helped.

 

Btw I deleted all her friends too. I had deleted a bunch when we broke up, whittled it down to 6, and got rid of them too. It was like nothing came out of that relationship. I still see these people on the street and it's friendly, but our lives are just as separate as if my ex and I had never met.

[Maroon]

Deleting my ex off FB didn't help me to move on noticeably, but I actually starting enjoying Facebook again. For the first few days, I actually felt like I had a new toy - I felt relieved being able to log in knowing I wouldn't be bothered with anything to do with her.

 

I was the dumped! NC was the only way to go and it was the only thing that helped.

 

Btw I deleted all her friends too. I had deleted a bunch when we broke up, whittled it down to 6, and got rid of them too. It was like nothing came out of that relationship. I still see these people on the street and it's friendly, but our lives are just as separate as if my ex and I had never met.

 

I feel the same way. It's like my ex and I are complete strangers now--no attachment whatsoever.