yvette91 Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 My husband and I are going through a possible separation because I cheated on him and lied about it when he asked me if I did. Now we are to the point that we are talking everyday about what happened and we can hold civil conversations and sleep in bed together. But today I was sick and had to ride the train home and I asked him if he could pick me up because I was so weak, he said he was busy (in a nut shell)....Now its 10:30 and he still isnt home and hasnt answered his phone or text me back. I have been been putting up with him being a complete ass to me because I know I hurt him bad and if him being rude/mean to me helps him heal faster...fine. Except I dont think its working, I think its just breaking me down, slower and slower. I feel like he is just doing all of this just to say "You see how it feels to hurt" and leave me after me putting all of my effort into changing. I know it may be to late to fix us, but if thats the case, he should say so instead of me being at his every beckon call and crying my heart out every day everywhere I am... Link to comment
DN Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Ask him if he still wants to try and fix the relationship - but remember you are the one that broke it. Don't turn this around on him. What he did today is nothing compared to what you did to him as described in your previous thread. Link to comment
LDRohnos Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 I have been been putting up with him being a complete ass to me because I know I hurt him bad and if him being rude/mean to me helps him heal faster...fine.p You know this isn't going to fix anything. This isn't just a case of hurt pride or getting even, this is a major, major breach in trust that you committed. One that most people cannot forgive no matter how much they may want to. In a year from now, he may STILL be an ass towards you because he's lost all respect and trust in you. Without that no relationship, romantic or otherwise, can survive. Have you attempted to seek a marriage councilor together? Does he even WANT to repair this relationship or is he just staying with you because of another reason? The hill you're trying to climb is much steeper than him just throwing some abuse back at you and you're even and happy again. Link to comment
abitbroken Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Its hard to connect again after something like that. He will naturally go through cycles of being hurt, being angry, being in denial. he might not be doing it DELIBERATELY to hurt you but he may not be taking the same care and be giving you the same attentiveness. he may also be calling you frequently because he doesn't trust you right now. I think that you really can't point at him and tell him he is not "working" on the marriage - you have your part too in proving yourself trustworthy, in working through the issues that you have which caused you to cheat and lie also. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Why did you cheat on him? Link to comment
yvette91 Posted September 12, 2012 Author Share Posted September 12, 2012 Thanks everyone. But we just had a talk....its over. We are getting divorced. Thanks for your advice. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted September 12, 2012 Share Posted September 12, 2012 Just read your other thread ... I think that makes sense. Sorry for your pain but this is the start of a new, single journey for you. Link to comment
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