Boyfriend looking at naked pictures of celebrities

[Unreasonable]

He actually doesn't! He told me that from day one. He said maybe once a year if that...and no he does not watch porn. We live together. He uses my computer. He cannot erase the history, hence why he didn't erase the pictures. Just because MOST guys do, does not mean all do. We have sex 1-3 times every day.

 

Uh, you said he blatantly lied about the porn. You think he's telling the truth about the masturbation?

 

You're having sex 1-3 times a DAY, and you don't think you're "good enough for him?"

 

This deserves a Picard facepalm.

[xxdaisyxx]

This forum is supposed to be about helping others in need.

 

I get that many people have different views. This is something that bothers ME. My boyfriend told me his views were the same as mine when we met. NO I AM NOT DELUSIONAL thinking my boyfriend doesn't masturbate. He doesn't. I wouldn't care if he did. telling me I am insecure, delusional, in denial that every man does this, does not help me.

 

My problem is there is something I discussed with my boyfriend two years ago that we came to an agreement with. He ended up breaking my trust. Hurting me and lying to me. This is the issue. Not to debate whether or not my views are right or wrong and laugh at me. They are MY Views and I stand by them.

[mhowe]

Well, the issue is truly that he lied about being on the same page with you. Because I don't think he started looking at naked clebs yesterday.

 

So, can you handle the lying?

 

There is your problem.

[Unreasonable]

Imo, you're not looking for help, you're looking for validation of your viewpoint.

 

We're helping you by trying to rid you of your obvious state of denial. Nothing can help you until that changes.

 

NOTHING we say is going to prevent your man from hiding and looking at porn. NOTHING. He isn't the one coming to us to rid himself of this "problem." You are.

[xxdaisyxx]

No I do not think he is lying about it. He has told me his friends think he is weird bc he doesn't. I don't even care about that. That is not the issue.

 

I know he is so happy with me, and I am good enough. That is why I don't understand his SUDDEN need to look at all of these naked woman. This isn't a man that has been "hiding it from me" for so long and I just found out. That everyone thinks. he did something he said he wouldn't do nor want to do in the beginning. Him doing this has hurt me and I came here for help, not to be ridiculed because I am one of the few that don't want to support the industry of degrading woman, photoshopping natural beauty, and viewing woman as an object. It may be okay for others but not me. That is not what this is about.

[mhowe]

This is about your view of porn vs his.

 

He is looking at it because it does something for him.

 

He is not doing it to hurt you, degrade you or the relationship or anything else TO DO WITH YOU.

 

Accept that your view of porn and his are different. And are allowed to be....or don't.

[xxdaisyxx]

I know he has watched porn when he was younger. He would open an email a friend sent him. Looked at a hot girl online. But no he never (in our relationship) has sat there and looked up naked woman. He is not like most guys. You are assuming he has been doing this forever because he is a "man" well you are wrong.

[Unreasonable]

This isn't a man that has been "hiding it from me" for so long and I just found out.

And you know this because you've been snooping his browsing history from day one?

 

What possessed you to do this anyway? Last time I checked browsing history doesn't just pop open by itself every day for you to look at. I assume it WASN'T because your sex 1-3 times daily?

[xxdaisyxx]

He doesn't even own a computer.

[mhowe]

Does he have a phone? Your head really is in the sand.

 

If the only "access" he has to a habit he isn't doing is your computer...he is letting his friends use it? No. It was him. If he is willing to be "caught" because it is on your computer....then maybe it is a bigger issue than the outright lying.

[PaintWithLight]

I think you need to stop the comparison game between you and the celebs. It is not as simple as you want to make it. If he was happy with me, he would not need others, therefore, I am not enough for him. That is just bad math that does not calculate the desires that most guys have for some variety.

 

Also, I want to insert a strong caution about giving him so many nude or explicit photos of yourself. Some times the next step in the boyfriends cycle is ex-boyfriend and you really do not need to end up in some guys virtual nudie album. Of course, if you break up, he has already promised to delete all those photos, right? Just be careful...

[xxdaisyxx]

No he doesn't have a "smart phone" or internet on it.

[Unreasonable]

He doesn't even own a computer.

Okay, so now you have a reasonable answer as to why he's "suddenly" started looking at porn. He now has computer access. Voila.

 

It is also painfully obvious that he is not very computer savvy, since he is obviously unaware of ctrl+shift+p.

[xxdaisyxx]

Okay, so now you have a reasonable answer as to why he's "suddenly" started looking at porn. He now has computer access. Voila.

 

It is also painfully obvious that he is not very computer savvy, since he is obviously unaware of ctrl+shift+p.

 

Hahah...uh no not quite. He has always had computer access....and he is VERY computer savvy. I'm sorry it is SO hard for you to understand that is has not been hiding it this whole time. He hasn't does it this whole time.

[mhowe]

Then, I think he wants you to know he is looking at this stuff now. What other explanation is there?

[pl3asehelp]

My god, this is so simple. Masturbation is completely different from sex in that you don't have to care one iota about pleasing anyone else or even being considerate for that matter. Having sex should include some consideration for your partner. That consideration is work. It's not done for yourself, it's done for your partner. Sometimes you want to have an orgasm without working for it. It has nothing to do with a partner not being enough for you. You should be happy he does this rather than using you like a piece of meat.

[Unreasonable]

Okay, since he very computer savvy as you say, let me ask you this: Since you confronted him about this and he lied, are you continuing to see daily porn googling?

 

You said in this thread that he can't delete his history. I can assure you, if he knows one whit about browsers, he certainly can. The abilty to delete history,.cache and cookies has been a basic browser feature since at least the late 90's. In 2005, "porn mode" was introduced, and anybody that knows this and wants to hide their internet usage has used it ever since.

 

If he's computer savvy, and didn't want you to see his history (hence the lies), and wasn't being completely sloppy, you would not see it, period. Methinks he underestimated your computer savvyness to be honest.

[xxdaisyxx]

Okay, since he very computer savvy as you say, let me ask you this: Since you confronted him about this and he lied, are you continuing to see daily porn googling?

 

You said in this thread that he can't delete his history. I can assure you, if he knows one whit about browsers, he certainly can. The abilty to delete history,.cache and cookies has been a basic browser feature since at least the late 90's.

 

If he's computer savvy, and didn't want you to see his history (hence the lies), and wasn't being completely sloppy, you would not see it, period. Methinks he underestimated your computer savvyness to be honest.

 

WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BE A DETECTIVE???? lol omg! Sure, maybe he has seen things here and there. I don't care. But last week was the FIRST time in OUR relationship he has done that. He wasn't trying to HIDE it! I can assure you of this. Thanks! But you are no help!

[camus154]

I don't understand what the issue is here, if you're so positive your boyfriend doesn't look at porn regularly and doesn't masturbate, AND you have a smoking hot sex life.

 

What on earth do you want anyone to say, then?

[pl3asehelp]

WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO BE A DETECTIVE???? lol omg! Sure, maybe he has seen things here and there. I don't care. But last week was the FIRST time in OUR relationship he has done that. He wasn't trying to HIDE it! I can assure you of this. Thanks! But you are no help!

 

Why SHOULD he hide it?

[xxdaisyxx]

Why SHOULD he hide it?

 

Because this is something discussed in the beginning of the relationship that is a deal breaker for me.

 

Everyone has different boundaries in relationships. Like maybe if your boyfriend or girlfriend were to sleep with someone else? I'm sure you would care right? Well there are a lot of people in open relationships that would not care at all....

 

Just because what I believe in may be less common, does not make it less of an issue.

[camus154]

Well, then there's your answer. It's a deal breaker for you, so now you need to go and break up with him.

 

Those are your standards, after all. Enforce them and move on.

[Unreasonable]

I'm being a detective? Well, I don't go around checking up on people's browsing history so i guess I'm not a very good one! lol!

 

You are full of contradictions. First you say "It gives me this horrible feeling like I am not good enough for him", then you say "I know he is so happy with me, and I am good enough". Then you say he lied about his porn use (i.e. hiding his actions), now you're saying he isn't? Did he fess up or did I miss something here?

 

Sorry, I was trying to help, but you're all over the place.

[pl3asehelp]

Because this is something discussed in the beginning of the relationship that is a deal breaker for me.

 

Everyone has different boundaries in relationships. Like maybe if your boyfriend or girlfriend were to sleep with someone else? I'm sure you would care right? Well there are a lot of people in open relationships that would not care at all....

 

Just because what I believe in may be less common, does not make it less of an issue.

 

Ok - didn't see that in your OP. Yeah, if it's a dealbreaker for you, end the relationship. No other option.

[dangletsbang]

What do you want us to say, xxdaisyxx? You discussed it at the beginning of your relationship that it was a deal breaker. He broke the deal. So, break up with him is the next step according to you.

 

We can't tell you why he's 'suddenly' looking at it. But I highly doubt he's just now beginning to look at it..for you to assume that he hasn't for the past 2 years is a total joke, please quit fooling yourself. You're not with him 24/7..every single second of the day..so how you could possibly know what he does in his spare time? If he's lying about things now, he's been lying for the past 2 years too.