Want to do it right this time

[mtastic]

Hi guys,

 

I guess I'm just looking for an outside opinion on this one. I met a girl during the week, she just tranfered into one of my classes. I've only talked to her twice thus far, but would definitely like to get to know her better. I've had a few friends encourage me to ask her out before someone else does, but I have a few concerns:

 

First of all: even though it was 6 months ago I'm still not totally over my ex, I mean I still think about her every so often, which I feel kind of foolish about as it was only a two month relationship. I get the feeling that however unintentional, I will be making some comparisons between the new girl, and the ex, which would not be fair as they are two different people.

 

Second: although over the past 6 months I've made an effort to make more friends, and even went out on a date, most of those friends are in the on-line domain and thus I'm still fairly lonely. I mean chatting is all well and good, but I really still don't have anyone to spend time with. I realize that because of this I'm in basically the same place emotionally as I was at the time i met my ex, if not a little wiser. This makes me a little scared that if I do get any kind of responce from her, that I'll jump to the same conclusions I did in my previous relationship, that is "finally, here is someone with whom I can be happy." I don't want that to happen again because i think my enthusiasm only added to the pain when my ex broke up with me. I also feel that that is way to much pressure to put on a relationship, especially in the beginning stages.

 

My third and final concern is most definitely the least of my worries, but is a concern none the less. Currently being a senior in college with a fairly busy schedule, I haven't been able to find a part time job which can conform to my needs. As a result I'm pretty much broke. My parents help me out and send money occasionally (which I really don't like either, I'm 22 I really should be self-sufficent at this point, but that's another post), however that money goes to food and other necessities, leaving little left over. As a result i'm a little worried that I won't be a very fun date, as i don't have money to go out and do all the things I would like to do. I know this isn't as big of a concern, as I know I can have a good time with someone just staying in, but I'm afraid that might get old after a while.

 

Oh well, I'm done rambling now. Any input on my situation would be most helpful.

 

Thanks for reading,

mtastic

[Guarana Galrok]

mtastic---

 

Take a shot at this girl and save yourself a lot of time. Your present concerns can only build up and overload you with anxiety, which will lead to you being to nervous/anxious to ask her out. To address your first concern, a new relationship is a very effective way to get over an old one. Secondly, it is more painful to remain lonely and regretful than it is to deal with the lost opportunity of not being lonely and regretful. Your third concern is not altogether a big one. Your first two concerns will only make you a more understanding and practical guy, which will make up in spades for being low on cash. Continue working on finding a job and strengthening your relations with this girl. Best regards!

[hurtbylove]

It's good that you do have these concerns, it's better than a guy mooching off his parents to go on dates.

 

I have the same problem.. my ex broke up with me 6 months ago and it was a 3 month relationship. Still hurts like hell.

 

I wouldn't worry about it too much, get out there and try to find a job. Anyway, she should be more interested in you than your money. I imagine most girls don't care.. depends on the type. Most college folk do rely on their parents still.

[usied]

its seems like you are a very considerate guy with a good head on his shoulders! those are hard to come by these days just ask her to hang out, you dont need to rush things..believe me i have done that unfortunally and scared the person away..its not fun. but its good wat you have already been thinking ..most ppl would just jump right in and start comparing and such like you had said...but if shes a good girl she will understand that you cant go out all the time and be able to just hang out and have a companion. and maybe it could lead to something great! you got this dont fret 0X