and the fallout begins

[iamkaylee]

I posted here earlier about my SO and I ending out relationship. So far, it's been going OK and we're both handling it as best we can. We're on LC and have doing fine with that more or less.

 

Today I had to go by his place and drop off some food I'd promised to bring over for a barbeque he was having. He knew I was still bringing it and what time I'd be over. He also knew I wasn't staying, just dropping off and going. It would be too uncomfortable with his family and friends there and we're trying to stay on good terms in spite of things. I had no idea I was going to walk into the mess I did.

 

I pulled up and his son was goofing off out front with a friend. He came running right over to the car and gave me an "aw man, how come you had to bring the car? I told my friend you take me for rides on your bike and he doesn't believe me." (I ride him on my motorcycle sometimes, with dad's permission of course) That hit pretty hard. His Dad and I have been teaching him to ride dirt bikes too. I told him that homemade ice cream, corn fritters and macaroni and cheese don't ride well on a bike and I'd take him on a ride another day. Ice cream fixes everything when you're 11 He said "ok, you can pick me up from school one day and then I can REALLY show off!" OMG, I love that kid, I'm such a sucker and he knows it.

 

I had the boys help me carry everything inside to the kitchen. Their Dad was out back with his youngest so I sent them to go tell him I was there while I put the food away. When I turned around from the freezer, his oldest daughter was standing in the door. I said HI to her and she just flipped. Screaming at the top of her lungs, telling me how much she hated me and calling me every name in the book. I was just shocked! My exBF walked in just in time to see her throw a notebook at me. He yelled her name, she stopped right away and he and stood there for a second just as stunned as I was. He picked the notebook up off the floor and put it on the counter. She stared at it a second then started bawling, snatched it back and ran to her room. By now, I was sick, about to fall apart and grateful the other kids were still outside. ExBF apologized and said he had no idea what had gotten into his daughter. He looked so sad but stunned too. I told him it was OK, she was just mad and upset, teenage hormones probably and not to worry about it, I was going to go before his friends and family started showing up and that he should go talk to his daughter and we could talk later. He said OK, we shared a hug, said bye and I got out of there as fast as I could with an awful sinking feeling in my gut.

 

That wasn't a notebook she threw. It was one of my old journals. They're hard to miss, suede bound and have a distinct custom graphic. I thought I'd recognized it and when I got home and checked my office, one was missing. I had been hoping I was wrong. His daughter must have taken it when they were over last weekend (maybe needed one for school or who knows why yet) but my guess is she's read it and that's what really set her off especially with her dad and I just breaking up. The one that's missing, I'm almost sure of it. Not good. If she gives it to my exBF, and he reads it (don't know if he will or not) there's no telling what he will think or have to say. I suppose I'll find out soon enough.

 

On top of it all, now I'm upset and mad at his daughter for going in my office (she knows it was off limits) invading my privacy and stealing from me. As much as I really don't want to have to do it, that's something I'll have to handle now also. And get my journal back. What a mess. And I feel crappy for leaving without even speaking to his youngest or saying bye to his son.

 

The emotional tornado I was hoping to avoid is starting I guess. Not fun

[soul3n]

what's in the journal?

[iamkaylee]

The missing journal had to do with another ex BF from some years ago, a few other people and some events that impacted my life to a huge degree. It's the only one I keep for writing my deeper thoughts and feelings down. It's very vague to very detailed and the only one of a slightly different color.

 

Nothing really significant to this relationship but I don't date my journals and if she read it, she would know the entries were not about her father from some of the details. It could very easily be misinterpreted as a number of things, none of which are necessarily going to be seen in a good way by a 15 year old.