Role reversal... can't handle it

[cf41]

I'm new here. I just broke up with my girlfriend of two years. We were doing pretty well considering my schedule, but I couldn't see myself marrying her. She's older than me, 27, and I thought that I was doing the right thing by ending it and not delaying the inevitable.

 

I am the one who ended it with her, yet I find myself miserably looking at pictures and missing her constantly. Every scent, every sight reminds me of her in some way. Everything I have is tainted by her memory. I can't get over her and don't even know how to start getting over her. I wasn't ready for this and don't know what to do.

 

I would appreciate any replies if you all have time.

[sisterlynch]

Thank you for coming to enotalone with your problem, here is my suggestion,

 

The way that I see it you have two choices: try to get her back or do some work on your own to get over her and move on...

 

There isn't enough detail in your post for me to really understand why you broke up or didn't want to marry her...

 

You said she is 27, but you didn't tell me your age.

 

If you are really serious about getting over her, you need to clear out all her pictures and items that remind you of her.

 

Do some activities that you like: for example coed sports, that is a really good way to meet people, or take classes like art or music.

 

Private Message me if you'd like to discuss this further.

[BrownEyedGuy]

Just wondering,how much younger than her are you? And was that the ONLY impediment in staying with her?

[aloneforever]

pretty soon you'll be attracted to someone else and as quickly as those feelings set in they will leave.

[cf41]

I am 22 and am in college. I've been trying to keep busy... but it isn't working. I am a pitcher on our baseball team and am double-majoring right now with a full load of classes, yet I still can't seem to tear my mind away from thoughts of her. If my worlkload piles up, then yes, it takes the pain away, but work has to end sometime and I end up falling back into the "funk" I have been experiencing.

 

One of the biggest reasons that I could not picture a future with her is that our lives are going in two separate directions. I am very motivated and ambitious, while she is content to stay where she is in her dead-end job. I believe myself to be very mature for my age and know where I am headed. Another reason is that my family does not approve of her. They would never intervene or come out and say so, but the fact that the subject always got changed a little too quickly is evidence enough.

 

The age difference caused momentary rifts in our relationship, but did not contribute materially to its end. The fact that she is not and has never been an athlete made her understanding my sacrifice for my sport difficult at best. Yes, I play in college, but I also have a good chance of playing professionally at the end of the year. That uncertainty ate at her a little, and she could not understand how I could choose baseball over her.

 

I still care about her and want her in my life. She is my best friend and has been for three years. I am a bit of a loner, so that is really important to me... I know it will be awkward in the beginning, but I am willing to try. We broke up only two weeks ago, and I know it may take a little longer.

 

I've spent time with people to whom I am attracted, yet they can't fill that gap. I wish it were that easy, I would get my "rebound" and do just that, rebound, but it isn't working. Any ideas?

[SwingFox]

hi cf41,

 

The comments made by the previous posters are valid and they offer good advice.

 

As for why you are feeling miserable: the truth is that breaking up always hurts. There's feelings being hurt and emotions involved, regardless wether you broke it off or she, you have been together for those two years.

 

I am sorry to hear that you are going through so much pain. I wish you strength and good luck with your healing process. Time will eventually heal all your wounds.

 

~ SwingFox ~

[cf41]

I know this is a loaded question, but it seems like it was easy the first week and since then, it has been weighing me down more and more each tick of the clock. Is there something wrong with me that I am this distraught over this?