RayKay Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 I have been feeling just AWESOME this past couple weeks. Gone on some dates here and there which have been fun too. Had a date this morning (a frisbee/walking date) and it was totally a blind one, but wow it was GREAT. We got along really well and he was soooo nice and friendly, and I truly had a great time...I was smiling the entire time..lol. Really tall (6'4" - I am only 5'4" lol), smart, adventurous, really athletic, done lots of travelling, big into family, kids and animals...great warm eyes, funny. We have a second date to see to go to a movie on Tuesday WE seem to really share so many of the same values/views, and could talk about so much, it was GREAT (again..lol). I have plans to see the ex on Saturday to watch a cycling movie and have dinner, but I am TOTALLY only looking forward to it for the friends aspect. He has emailed me and even called me yesterday, but I have been able to be so non chalant about it all, and truly look at him as a casual friend. He contacts me first almost 100% of the time now, and I truly DO feel healed. I know I miss him and love him still....but I am looking forward to a future with or without him...and that is a wonderful feeling. So you CAN do it staying in contact as I have learned. Though for months it was incredibly hard and people told me it could not work, it really does...we are at the 5ish month mark, and it was a long road. I am still open to something with him if it happens that way, but I truly realize it is his loss, and there is better out there for me right NOW, not later..lol. And, who knows, we could still have a great friendship. Stay strong all - the love does not go away, nor does the pangs of missing them sometimes...but there is so much brighter out there. Link to comment
CarterJonas Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 Hello RayKay, I don't know if I can add anything to your post except that it is nice to see people recovering and slowly moving on from their ex.'s. congrats Link to comment
raccoon Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 Awesome RayKay!! Good for you! Link to comment
mahlina Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 Hi RayKay. I'm in the same boat! Boy, does it feel refreshing!! Halluluyaaah!! Link to comment
vimora Posted October 10, 2004 Share Posted October 10, 2004 Thanks RayKay, I feel better. Someday I'll initiate a friendship with him, not now though. Many months later pershaps. I could see us being friends. Link to comment
RayKay Posted October 11, 2004 Author Share Posted October 11, 2004 To add on I also met this very interesting guy from Columbia at Thanksgiving dinner tonight (my mother likes to invite people from everywhere..lol). Doctor with a general practice, does triathlons...only thing that would dissuade me is I think he is maybe a little too old for my usual "age range" (he is 34 I think, I am 25 though he is in great shape and seems to have a great younger attitude!) but he is charming, always smiling and friendly, very attractive, but again the point is you really can connect with people from all over once you are ready...your ex despite all the love in the world, is not your last stop. Once your heart is healed and open again, the world is truly your oyster! Link to comment
antigone77 Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Hey, RayKay, that is FANTASTIC news. I think you're in the position we all truly want to be in. And I'm glad your heart is elastic enough for you to think about dating others after a painful break. That's inspirational, because I'm not feeling like mine will be. No,that's not true. My own good news is that after a breakup about 1 1/2 months ago (it was longer than that in coming) I'm starting to feel better,t oo. I moved half way accross the country right afterward, away from all family and friends, yet I'm meeting new people, having a social life, and love my job! I'm only half way there, but if you can feel good, and I can feel good (sometimes) after losing the love of my life and leaving behind all friends and family, then I guess everybody else on here eventually can, too. (BIG SMILE) Link to comment
RayKay Posted October 11, 2004 Author Share Posted October 11, 2004 Hey, RayKay, that is FANTASTIC news. I think you're in the position we all truly want to be in. And I'm glad your heart is elastic enough for you to think about dating others after a painful break. That's inspirational, because I'm not feeling like mine will be. No,that's not true. My own good news is that after a breakup about 1 1/2 months ago (it was longer than that in coming) I'm starting to feel better,t oo. I moved half way accross the country right afterward, away from all family and friends, yet I'm meeting new people, having a social life, and love my job! I'm only half way there, but if you can feel good, and I can feel good (sometimes) after losing the love of my life and leaving behind all friends and family, then I guess everybody else on here eventually can, too. (BIG SMILE) Hi antigone - wow, you are mighty brave for that move though after such a huge life change! There are going to be downfalls of course, and still bad days ahead, but I am feeling good again, and it was a long road. We broke up in May, and for a long time all I could think about was him...but, you get to that point where you realize you have tried everything, and you can't have regrets if you did all you can...and you are just emotionally exhausted. I want to feel true, pure love again - mutual love! Not this pain that came from loving him still (though I know he does love me still, but it was not enough for him anymore). I want to give freely, and be given freely. And that is where my turning point came..was when I woke up and said, I DESERVE so much more than this, I deserve someone as in love with me as I am for them. Good luck on your healing antigone, though it sounds like you are doing wonderfully on your own! Link to comment
mahlina Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Hey RayKay! I'm so happy for you. Just wanted to add one thing, be careful with snooty men. Sure his profession is sound, and yes, his credentials may be attractive, but I dated some men who used their background as a way to attract the ladies. They were nothing but showoffs, who mostly did what they did to please others and to use it to their advantage. In the end, the more I got to know them, the more I saw their true colors. They were nothing but pretentious. Of course, not all successful men are going to be like this. Weed out the ones who are. Pay attention to the little things that they say about other people. Their little comments will be enough to show you who they truly are deep down inside. What really matters most is: who he is from within, if he has a good heart. In any case, know your boundaries, have fun and enjoy your experience Girl! Yeah!! Mahlina Link to comment
kungfumaster Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Hey RayKay! RayKay wrote: And that is where my turning point came..was when I woke up and said, I DESERVE so much more than this, I deserve someone as in love with me as I am for them. Alleluiiiiiiiiiaaaaaaaaaaaaa! I have been following your story on and off, and I remember all those times you would defend your ex, and still waiting for him to come back to you. You were adamant on keeping contact, and waiting. I wanted to say - you deserve more!! but really, the best way to get that message accross to anyone is if they see it themselves. It took along time for me to realize it too. Actually, at the beginning of the break up, when my ex called it quits, I had this nagging feeling in my heart that said to me, I did deserve more than this. I wasn't going to beg, I wasn't going to plead - I wasn't going to jump through any hoops anymore because I had tried my best - yes, I got to that point too where I had felt like I had tried everything in the world there was to try - and then BAM - it hit me - why do I try soooooo hard, when I wasn't getting ANYTHING back? I deserve more than this. Thus, I started my long road of healing - it has been almost 10 months now. Wow, I look back now, and I say - wow. I'm still healing, and I can honestly say, things are FINALLY starting to look up again. Anyways, congrats RayKay on your progress on your healing journey. antigone77 - it is good that your move involved also getting a good job that you like. I would have been worried if you'd moved just to get away from everything. Its better if you move for a good reason, e.g., good job, education, towards friends and family, etc. This means that you are investing in yourself, and that is always good. I did the same thing after my first love - I moved to go to a good school, and things just go so much better after that - I still look back at those days as the best I've ever had in my life (hopefully, just so far anyways ). Have fun in your new place!! Take care. Kung fu Link to comment
antigone77 Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Thanks, man. And I like your name. Did you know that there's a brand of ramen noodles named "Kung Fu"? I'm not frontin'. ( : Link to comment
RayKay Posted October 11, 2004 Author Share Posted October 11, 2004 Hey Mahlina, oh neither are like this at all! Very friendly, definitely did not lord their profession in the very least! I actually found out from other people what they did, as opposed from them! Definitely both the guys I met yesterday were more about having a big heart, and enjoying life's little things than about their position. The first guy actually, he is a sales manager at moment, but has his paramedic training and would like to go into firefighting. The doctor comes from Columbia (was a political refuge) and just finished his medical schooling a couple years ago. My family knows him as he is very big into latin dancing as they are. He is actually a little shy about his profession and only mentioned it when others asked. Definitely not snooty! Link to comment
frizzle Posted October 11, 2004 Share Posted October 11, 2004 Hey Ray I followed your story as well I'm glad things are going well for you. Keep up the good work! Link to comment
fridolyn Posted October 12, 2004 Share Posted October 12, 2004 Yeah Ray!!!! Im almost there too. I know its not over yet but I really think that in a few weeks (yes weeks) I will be 100% healed. My life is back on tracks. I still cry but now they are tears of happiness. Im still single, I've started dating and have met some really nice girls. Finding love again is not my number 1 objective but its fun to meet new people. Ive learned from my mistakes, I'm now a much better person. I've also learned that the most important thing in life is myself. A bit selfish but true. Time is a good friend and I just hope that this friend will still be on my side in order to be 100% healed. Congratulations my friend!!! ***English is my second language*** Link to comment
RayKay Posted October 12, 2004 Author Share Posted October 12, 2004 Yeah Ray!!!! Im almost there too. I know its not over yet but I really think that in a few weeks (yes weeks) I will be 100% healed. My life is back on tracks. I still cry but now they are tears of happiness. Im still single, I've started dating and have met some really nice girls. Finding love again is not my number 1 objective but its fun to meet new people. Ive learned from my mistakes, I'm now a much better person. I've also learned that the most important thing in life is myself. A bit selfish but true. Time is a good friend and I just hope that this friend will still be on my side in order to be 100% healed. Congratulations my friend!!! ***English is my second language*** Good to hear fridolyn, sounds like you are doing really well! That is exactly it, you just need to have some fun and meet people - and you will be far more ready to make it work when love does come around! It is not selfish at all, you are totally right, you do at this time have to be selfish in order to heal - just remember that when that love does hit, to let yourself go - don't be gun shy Good luck! Link to comment
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