united states loneliness and moving dilemma

[ciscogal]

Long story short, I am divorced after having been married for 12 years. The choice was not really mine but my husband's - basically he became involved in an affair and then left to go live with her.

 

Anyway, it took me a good 4 years to recover from that trauma and in the process, I lost all of my friends, because my life basically centered around my ex husband and all the friends that we both shared have disappeared.

 

Now, I'm finding myself in a place in my life where I have left the past behind me and in a further attempt to continue leaving the past in the past, would love to pick up and move in order to experience new things and events.

 

With the above being said, recently, I have been accepted as a permanent resident in Australia and have work rights and a visa to go live there indefinitely.

 

My only problem is that I'm kind of shy around new people and therefore find myself lacking in the friendship department. I am not your typical charmer, in other words who can make friends off the bat. So I fear that if I move away, I will be just as lonely but somewhere else.

 

The other part of my dilemma is that I am currently living in the East Coast of the United States, but my brother - who has a family and many friends in the West Coast has invited me to live by his neighborhood. He says that by my being near him, not only will I be able to hang out with his wife, but I can join his family and can always depend on him for anything that I would like. He kind of guaranteed that he will not allow me to feel lonely. I believe him as both him and his wife are great people and I really do enjoy my time around them.

 

So there you guys have it - which would you opt for and why? I cannot make up my mind! I am torn between feelings of loneliness and experiencing life in a new country !

[patterned]

You can always find new people to connect to. Don't let that hold you back. There are so may options with activity and meetup groups that you'll have all the opportunity you need to get comfortable meeting new people.

 

That being said support systems are valuable and important.

 

Make decisions from confidence, never fear.

[rmcdougal]

To my way of thinking, you have a safety net in your brother. It feels like his offer will hold for now or even six months hence. If your budget allows it, why not try Australia? You can always go back to your brother if you do not like it there. This way, if nothing else, you will have a new experience to look back on.

[Lester]

Hmm…

West coast, (California?) with family vs. Australia with no family? Are you really asking that question? All things being equal… West Coast is a no brainer!

 

In time, foreign locations will compound your issues. Yes, at first you will be the "mystery from afar," but that won’t last.

 

Having family around can help but you still must overcome these issues. Allow you’re self to be vulnerable and build from there. Make your nephews and nieces pound of you!

 

Have you ever been to Australia?

[Lester]

Married for twelve years to bozo the clown?

If you haven’t already, I recommend you post your story in Healing after break up or divorce. There are lots of nice people over there who would love to help you get back on your feet.

 

Let them help with the loneliness. E not alone.