Guys, would you pursue her for a booty call or let it go?

[bebeblondie]

So if you guys met a girl you were attracted to but you weren't looking to get serious with her (i.e. you would just like have her as a booty call) and she had made it clear that she is looking for something serious, would you still prusue her for sex...or you would just forget about her?

[In the Dark]

I would just forget about her.

I wouldn't want to get anyone's hopes up.

[MarkD]

If I am looking for a "booty call" or "friend with benefit" I am always honest with the person. I can't say most guys would be though. Most guys would make them believe they want more, and once they get what they want, there are gone.... Are you questioning a guy in your life right now? Sometimes when we are in the situation, it's hard to see the clear signs that the guy isn't into you for long term commitment. If you want to post a bit of info on the situation, maybe we can help?

[Greatone99]

I debated about this once with this exact situation. I wasn't interested in a relationship "with her". I told her I wasn't interested in anything serious and we parted ways. I always feel good about doing that, I would've felt like a huge jerk if I would've led her on.

[bebeblondie]

If I am looking for a "booty call" or "friend with benefit" I am always honest with the person. I can't say most guys would be though. Most guys would make them believe they want more, and once they get what they want, there are gone.... Are you questioning a guy in your life right now? Sometimes when we are in the situation, it's hard to see the clear signs that the guy isn't into you for long term commitment. If you want to post a bit of info on the situation, maybe we can help?

 

 

No thankfully I'm not in a situation like this...I could've gotten into one like that a couple of weeks ago...but the only difference was I don't think the guy was very honest to me about what he wanted (he said he was looking for a relationship) but his actions on our date and the other things he was saying told me different. So I dodged a bullet.....this post was just out of curiosity and for advice to go off of in the future.

[april15]

I would tell them I am not looking for a relationship and leave it up to them. Bebeblondie you probably dodged a bullet, the players will say anything to get theirs. Actions speak louder than words.

[Day_Walker]

If I was honest with her that I wasnt looking for anything serious, she can decide for herself. In my experience girls who are looking for something serious exclude guys that arent interested in something serious unless she acknowledges that she just wants to have fun with the guy and he isnt what she is looking for.

[Habibi]

If she is hot and I am horny...sure,why not ? Its fair game.

 

 

So if you guys met a girl you were attracted to but you weren't looking to get serious with her (i.e. you would just like have her as a booty call) and she had made it clear that she is looking for something serious, would you still prusue her for sex...or you would just forget about her?

[Habibi]

I am always honest with the person. I can't say most guys would be though. Most guys would make them believe they want more, and once they get what they want, there are gone....

 

They should give you a medail for being better than the rest of us

 

 

If I am looking for a "booty call" or "friend with benefit" I am always honest with the person. I can't say most guys would be though. Most guys would make them believe they want more, and once they get what they want, there are gone.... Are you questioning a guy in your life right now? Sometimes when we are in the situation, it's hard to see the clear signs that the guy isn't into you for long term commitment. If you want to post a bit of info on the situation, maybe we can help?

[Vince99]

Depends on how adamant she was about definitely wanting something serious. I wouldn't try to manipulate her into doing something she didnt want to do. I would make sure she knows I do not want serious. But if I'm horny and I thought she would say yes, even if she'd said no before, I'd ask again...she can say no. So who cares. I wouldn't freak out on her. I'd just be like, ok, no problem. Let me know if you change your mind.

[PaintWithLight]

No thankfully I'm not in a situation like this...I could've gotten into one like that a couple of weeks ago...but the only difference was I don't think the guy was very honest to me about what he wanted (he said he was looking for a relationship) but his actions on our date and the other things he was saying told me different. So I dodged a bullet.....this post was just out of curiosity and for advice to go off of in the future.

 

In the future, remain equally guarded. Most men will tell you exactly what you want to hear in order to get you into bed. They can bring up wonderful projections of a life together, even joke about what you will name your kids, etc. However, if they have you pegged as just a booty call, then it is all just strategy on their part.

 

The trick is to make yourself appeal to the relationship guys and not seem like a convenient girl to the booty call guys. Guys will put their time and energy where they think the results are. As you found out, actions speak louder than words. If you withhold immediate sex, most booty call guys will fade away. The problem is when you sleep with the guy early, then it is hard to renegotiate that you are truly relationship minded.

[blueidealist24]

No, I would leave her alone because if she made it clear she wants something serious, she'll expect that you know that too and are pursuing her for something serious if you do start making moves. Then when she finds out you're actually pursuing her for a booty call (before or after said booty call), she'll feel lied to, disrespected, and used.

 

You could tell her up front that you just want her for sex, but she probably will turn you down and feel disrespected by that too.

 

Find a girl who wants the same thing as you want, don't put a girl looking for something serious through the pain of being treated like a disposable f buddy.

[Generation]

I wouldn't pursue unless my intentions were clear, otherwise that would make me a gigantic jerk. But chances are I wouldn't pursue if I knew that information, though I would pursue if I wanted a relationship too.

[Blue Spiral]

So if you guys met a girl you were attracted to but you weren't looking to get serious with her (i.e. you would just like have her as a booty call) and she had made it clear that she is looking for something serious, would you still prusue her for sex...or you would just forget about her?

 

I wouldn't pursue her--I try to avoid pursuing in general--but I'd establish intermittent, low-grade contact with her, letting her know that the door is always open.

 

In my experience, there are three different types of FWB candidates. First, there are the obvious "sex is as meaningful as a handshake" women. Second, there are women that have chosen to be single for a significant period of time because of life circumstances (usually focusing on their careers/kids). They're avoiding relationships until some predetermined date in the future, but they have needs, obviously. And third, there are women that are keeping their powder dry. They really want to get married, but they're sick of dating, and they don't want to keep getting their hopes up (or their family's hopes up) with brief relationships that end up not working. These women may seem like the antithesis of a FWB candidate, because they're very serious/relationship-oriented...but the truth is, they occupy both extremes. They don't want to date an endless series of guys; they want quiet, casual, private sex until they've found a husband candidate that's worth going out on a limb for (i.e., being publicly involved with).

 

Most men will lie about wanting a relationship in order to get laid. I'm always upfront about wanting FWB, which hurts my chances...but it's the ethical thing to do.