Asking my co worker friend to a wedding?

[clint88]

I have a friend that is getting married in july. i thought about asking my co worker who im pretty good friends with to go with me. we get along real well, we talk at work, take lunch breaks together, text each other, have hung out a couple of times outside of work. Now she knows i have a crush on her, but she was engaged and I respected that of course. Her engagement ended though, and I'm not viewing this as making a move or anything. Just inviting her to go along.

 

the wedding is 5 1/2 hours away though. could that make an impact on her decision? we would likely say at a hotel the night before the wedding. i would pay of course for the room/rooms(hoping she will be ok with 1 room, 2 beds)

 

anyway whats the best way to ask and to explain that it's not a date or anything?

[waterfalll]

No.

 

And if you work together in a professional capacity, then the answer is HELL NO!

 

You've hung out only a couple of times outside work? This is crossing over the line at high speed.

 

It's already inappropriate for you to admit having a crush on her, but now you're going one step further and asking her to be your date to a wedding, and to share a room with you.

 

Inappropriate! Don't do it.

 

So the cat's out of the bag that you like her. Unfortunate, but your job now, is to show her that you're 100% capable of acting like you don't have a crush on her, and that means NOT inviting her to weddings, as your DATE.

[RedDress]

I dunno... if you want to date someone at work - go for it. It's not really advisable because it can create all sorts of drama - but that's not what this thread is about.

 

But a wedding? That's a pretty high pressure date.

 

And an out-of-town wedding? I think this is moving fast even if you were already dating (and not yet sleeping together)

 

Definitely no

[Huntress0527]

This isn't a good idea at all. Not only is it hours away but you're wanting to share one room with someone you haven't even been on a date with? Yeah...no. Don't ask her. Find someone else to go with you to the wedding.

[clint88]

it's not a date at all.

[Batya33]

I also think it's a bad idea. Different if she has friends in that town who she can stay with and socialize with so that the purpose of the trip is not just to be your date at a wedding.

[Tom1990]

If you're positive she's going to agree to go, then just ask her, and be sure to say it's "just as friends."

 

If you think there's even a fraction of a chance she'll say no, it will make things weird at work between you forever. I don't care how close and friendly you two are.

[waterfalll]

I don't have much experience with weddings, but I was under the impression that if you bring someone with you to a wedding, it's as a date. Aren't weddings one of those things where people often feel pressure to bring a "date" even if it's a fake date?

 

I think your friend will feel like she's playing at being your date.

 

It sounds like you're not good friends, since you've only hung out a couple of times outside work.

 

I think you really need to ask yourself "why do I want her to come with me?" I'm guessing it's because you feel pressure to bring someone. Correct me if I'm wrong. But that's the wrong reason. And I can't think of a reason that would be a good reason either.

 

By the way, how did she react when you admitted to her that you had a crush on her?

[clint88]

I don't have much experience with weddings, but I was under the impression that if you bring someone with you to a wedding, it's as a date. Aren't weddings one of those things where people often feel pressure to bring a "date" even if it's a fake date?

 

I think your friend will feel like she's playing at being your date.

 

It sounds like you're not good friends, since you've only hung out a couple of times outside work.

 

I think you really need to ask yourself "why do I want her to come with me?" I'm guessing it's because you feel pressure to bring someone. Correct me if I'm wrong. But that's the wrong reason. And I can't think of a reason that would be a good reason either.

 

By the way, how did she react when you admitted to her that you had a crush on her?

 

didnt tell her. she realized it. she didnt care she would joke about it. she knew i respected that she was engaged