How long until you become a "couple"?

[PaintWithLight]

His last relationship (2 years) ended because he cheated on her. Not drunk, no reason, no excuse. Just cheated on her. He genuinely seemed like he felt horrible about it, but still..

 

It's funny how there can be all these red flags right infront of your face, but you don't notice them until someone makes you write them all down and read them. I like him a lot and I think I've been ignoring some of these issues. I'm going to keep seeing other guys and take this guy very casually.. I'm starting to feel a little weary about him, regardless of how much I like him.

 

Also, you can say you are not "having sex" but you are doing sexual stuff with him. He is getting sleepovers and other types of "boyfriend benefits" yet he is wanting to stay completely in the gray zone. This way, if he is dating, sleeping or chasing other girls, he can always claim that you are unfair to be angry because "nothing was official". That alone smacks of game playing. He has lingering doubts about committing but no doubts about having sexual play with you. And you have been allowing it for 3 months. If you suddenly wake up, he can claim you are threatening him and pressuring him into a decision. He has you right where he wants you. Free fun for as long as he can string you along!

[SuperDuper]

Agree with the above poster and pretty much everyone else here. This sounds like something I'd do IF I was into games and IF it was a girl I didn't want to commit to.

[Confused22]

Hello Everyone, I feel like I am in the exact same situation. All of your comments have been extremely helpful so far. I'm just curious, Natasha24, what ended up happening with this guy? I also went a very long time without dating. I actually really didn't think I was ready to date again until I met this guy, so I'm not even sure how I would go about meeting other people, even though that sounds like a good choice at this point.