bananashake Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 So, I met a man from link removed a couple months ago.... and it's going very well!! We had the "talk" yesterday and we are officially in a monogamous relationship now. He has a 6 yo daughter whom I've never met. He is going to introduce us in another month. We talked about her a lot last night, and as it turns out, she goes to the same school as my Ex's oldest son. I really loved his son..... and I really felt bad for him because my ex didn't always talk nicely to him. During the BU, I told my ex that this boy will likely grow up and never talk to his dad because of their turbulent relationship that his own father causes. I think my opinion on his fathering skills, and boy did I have some, was what led to my ex going NC on me. Anyway, my current bf's daughter could possibly be in the same class - They are the same age, but this school has 2 different 1st grade and second grade classrooms. I will be attending all recitals and school functions if me and this guy continue to date. I won't be bothered or upset if I see ex there and the ex won't start a scene or anything. And if I see the ex's son, I won't get overly emotional or anything. All of this is in my past and I'm over it. Should I tell him that my ex's son goes to that school, or just let it drop? The school year just ended and I haven't met her yet. Link to comment
allielynn Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 What makes you assume you will be going to school functions and whatnot if you haven't even met the kid yet!? Lol. Don't you think that's a bit presumptuous? If, after a significant time has passed, he invites you to one of his daughters events, you should then say "My exes child goes to the same school, I think. I don't often think of him, as he is in my past....however, would you feel uncomfortable if I were to attend?" I think if you brought it up now, he'd write you off as a little nutty. You've only been "together" for a day Link to comment
bananashake Posted May 25, 2012 Author Share Posted May 25, 2012 What makes you assume you will be going to school functions and whatnot if you haven't even met the kid yet!? Lol. Don't you think that's a bit presumptuous? If, after a significant time has passed, he invites you to one of his daughters events, you should then say "My exes child goes to the same school, I think. I don't often think of him, as he is in my past....however, would you feel uncomfortable if I were to attend?" I think if you brought it up now, he'd write you off as a little nutty. You've only been "together" for a day How do I know that I will be attending these events. Hmmm. Maybe because we talked about what my role in her life will be if we escalate. And maybe we talked about me attending these events. Basically, he wants me to be there as if she were my own, and I'm all for it. Link to comment
allielynn Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Well of course that is his ultimate goal. If I start dating someone, my goal would be that my children are treated as his own, and he has a serious role in their lives too. I wouldn't want to date someone, and 6 months in have them say "I really don't like kids"... Lol. There are entire websites of people like that! Link to comment
poetryandlyrics Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 You wait. Wait till after he invites you to go with him for her daughter's school events. Because that may be a long time going even if you guys are going to be introduced. Who knows. But you wait till he invites you. And if he invites you, you tell him about the possibility of you seeing your ex so he knows what's up. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 I wouldn't say anything -it will give the impression that you're too focused on your ex and looking for reasons to talk about him. Link to comment
bananashake Posted May 25, 2012 Author Share Posted May 25, 2012 I wouldn't say anything -it will give the impression that you're too focused on your ex and looking for reasons to talk about him. That's what I was thinking!! I don't think I'm going to say anything, even when the time does come. If the ex does approach me at one of the events, it will just be a quick "hello" type, nothing dramatic. And if my bf asks who that was, I will just non nonchalantly say, "an old boyfriend." How ironic though!!!! I do plan on looking fab at all events Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted May 25, 2012 Share Posted May 25, 2012 Leave it until the situation becomes a reality. You never know what's going to happen! Link to comment
bananashake Posted May 25, 2012 Author Share Posted May 25, 2012 Leave it until the situation becomes a reality. You never know what's going to happen! Love your quote!!! Yea, the situation may never become a reality. But I'm really diggin my new man and he really digs me. I can see this blossoming into something pretty wonderful. Link to comment
nutbrownhare Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Love your quote!!! Yea, the situation may never become a reality. But I'm really diggin my new man and he really digs me. I can see this blossoming into something pretty wonderful. All the best with the new relationship, and let's hope it all works out the way you want The 'never know what's going to happen' could include your ex's son leaving the school, them moving from the area, all sorts of stuff which would mean this would never be an issue. Link to comment
annie24 Posted May 26, 2012 Share Posted May 26, 2012 Agreed with the others - there are so many wild cards in this situation, there is no point in saying anything right now. Link to comment
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