What do you do when you feel awful?

[tothecoast]

I'm sure a thread for this exists somewhere, but I haven't seen it. We all experience those waves of pain - one minute we're doing just fine, and the next minute, we feel like the wind has been knocked out of us and we'll never be okay again. Welcome to ****ing heartbreak. Ugh.

 

So the question is, what do you do when you feel like crap? What strategies do you use to pull yourself out of that slump? Here's my list - I thought we could add to it and all help each other out...get a big running list of tools for survival.

 

-Go to the gym.

-Clean up room/apartment/house (always dread it, but it works every time)

-NEWNESS - eat at a new restaurant - listen to new music - get new clothes - make a new friend - redecorate your space - saturate your life with new experiences, people, routines, and things that your ex was never associated with. (this one has helped me a TON.)

-Play guitar (or another musical instrument)

-Write in a journal.

-Write a hand-written letter to a friend, and mail it.

-Remember a couple mantras you have chosen for yourself - probably specific to your relationship. (Mine include - "There was nothing I could have done to prevent this" and "She couldn't give me the love I deserved and wanted.")

 

What do you do to counteract the sadness?

[Animal]

Get drunk and smoke some weed. It's a good temporary solution anyway.

[The_Seeker]

Throughout all my three relationships [i broke up recently]

 

- Go to the gym

- Hang out with the opposite sex

- Explore different places

- Focus on my career

- Flirt flirt flirt

 

 

1st relationship - Got over it in 2 weeks

 

2nd relationship - Got over it in a day

 

3rd relationship - I moved on and going to find someone else new

 

So I'm putting myself out there on POF. I'm thinking about signing up link removed to go on dates.

 

Do I miss any of my exes? I do. But I sensed they cheated on me despite the fact they said no.

 

Anyway the current one have the intensity when we are together which I like in a relationship, but things changed. If he were to call right now, I don't know what I'll say. Part of me want to say bad things to him for being cruel.

[jumper11]

I listen to music, and play lots of video games, heh. Seeing my computer max out all the new games, always works, lol. Right after the breakup I couldnt, because it was something shared together, but enough time has gone on (a lot of time, lol) that its just my hobby again. Love it! And lots of music, also getting out and venturing somewhere I've never been, bus , walk, switching it up with a book with me at all times

[StarFright]

I usually avoid music, becuase lucky me - most of my ex's like the same things I do (especially the most recent one), so my music only makes it worse. My mind has a nasty way of remembering every small detail so almost anything reminds me of them. I always get one thing that has no affiliation with my ex and I latch onto it like dear heaven.

 

I agree with the 'newness' thing - with two guys I was trying to get over (two separate occasions, of course) I repainted and totally redid my room.

Sadly, I don't have this option this time around. As a matter of fact...it's so hard right at this moment as I can't redo my surroundings, have not made new friends in my area and am not working. But all for good reason.

I'm moving away to my school in a few months, and plan to reinvent myself in a totally new town

 

Until then, whenever I feel down, I go for a walk or my personal favorite at the moment - watch The Big Bang Theory. I have fallen in love with that show! Gets my mind off of things. Alcohol also helps, as does flirting. It just sucks when you're out having a great time, and it comes crashing down when you're alone at home again Luckily, I have seasons 1 and 2 of TBBT on DVD.

[pippy longstocking]

make a marley the size of Hong Kong and go and take pics of ducks

[OneSadPuppy]

Things with no side effects

Work out,

Run,

Talk to someone (phone, personal),

Watch a movie with no romance,

Read a captivating book,

Read a self help book (uggh),

Jump on the subway to Yonge & Dundas (heart of the city), and soak up the energy at night.

 

Things with side effects

Alcohol (next day is terrible)

Bar (if there is dancing, it's fun that night, but I feel so guilty the next).

Any social function where I have fun, but later think how much I'd have liked to share with ex.

 

I'm still in a rut and lack the drive to do what some are doing, but cleaning (serious swamping) is required as is painting.

 

OSP

[secondchance67]

As cliched as it is - I stop to "smell the roses".

 

I reflect on what I have that's good in my life - my health, my 3 sons, my job of 23 years, my home that I am so very proud of......it breaks my bad mood or low moment when I can look objectively at my life, even thru the heartache that I know wont last forever.

 

I remind myself that I am a good father, a good son, a loyal friend......3 things that dont have a price tag, 3 things I acheived by being the man I am, things I will never compromise on for anyone.

 

If there is one thing this break up has taught me, its this:

There is so much more to life than a R/S, than the person that caused you so much heartache.....there is SO MUCH more to this life than what you THINK you are looking for....

 

Stay away form the "vices" - short term they will provide some much needed releif, but in the long term they will just add to/compound your problems.

[Coconut Twin]

Eat cake or a chocolate then jump on my dear Bob Jackson racer and cycle off for 10miles...

 

Oh I meditate, thanking him for an experience, forgiving him, and letting love into my heart

Cycle

Shop

Coffee with friends

Make music

Attend acting classes

Comedy shows

Charity work

[Animal]

make a marley the size of Hong Kong and go and take pics of ducks

 

The size of Hong Kong? And I thought the Cheech and Chong joints were big!