Ideal places for a shy guy to meet girls

[dimstar]

Greetings everyone. I'm new to this forum and have read some of the other topics and many of them had some great suggestions and advice.

 

Now I'm seeking some advice to my personal issue. Just a little about myself. I'm 27 and have never been in a real relationship. Never even had a first kiss. This is partly due to my shyness and my upbringing, which was overly sheltered. I was never allowed to date while in school and never had a chance to meet anyone while in college. All I did was focus on my education and worried about all the other stuff later, which needless to say did not help my shyness. I did move away to another city for a while, which I hoped to be the perfect opportunity to meet girls. I was wrong, I fell for the wrong girls who 1. weren't interested in me or 2. already had a bf. I'm back living in my parents basement saving up for a down payment on a condo. I'm convinced it's my shyness that's preventing me from meeting girls, but it's also my lack of experience. So my question is where do guys like me meet girls?

 

I'm not into the whole going to bar/nightclubs thing. I'm trying online dating services but never get any sort of responses back from girls. I think I enjoy the anonymity of online dating but it just seems incredibly difficult to meet people using them. I do alot of volunteer work but it seems all the other volunteers I know are already involved in a relationship. I would like to try speed dating but I know my shyness will prevent me from doing so. I just need some alternative ways of meeting single girls.

[Empathy]

Church? lol

[drahcir]

I talk to the most girls on the bus or in the university library. Why don't you start hanging out on a campus library. You should meet lots of girls there. And most are very friendly. Or take a class or two..>Hey some colleges offer dance classes on campus..try that out!!!! that a great way to meet girls.......

[ladyluck]

first take care of the shy issue first!!! go out be spontainious!!!! loosen up and be bold!!!!! but don't go as far as being immature, believe me it's usually a BIG turn off. get some practice talking to women the confidence in your attitude will keep her interested. don't fear rejection...since you don't really get the chance to get too attached don't let the rejection cut you to the quick. sure it will hurt but bounce back up and have another go at it. and if you're not much of a bar or club person try a coffee shop or personal adds.keep your mind open to all possibilities!!!! and don't go drastically searching for someone, any sense of desperation can make you seem like a push over, no offense, just keep cool and go with the flow. remember "it's better to ask and get a no then not ask and never know"

[geo_jane]

Taking a class is a good idea. It will give you time to strike up a good conversation one-on-one which will help you over-come initial shyness. Something you may not be able to do in speed dating although I've never tried that myself.

[Carnatic]

Everyone is different, but the most difficult part for me is having a reason to go and start talking to a girl, I'm scared of it being obvious that it's cos I like her. So I find it much easier as part of a club, where you can talk to girls about something to do with the club. Once you do that you just have to try and keep her interested in the conversation, make her laugh every now and again, and talk about the things you know she is interested in.

Unfortunately I don't have any advice beyond this for you.

[rusty_boi]

you do need to take care of the shy issue first, to be spontanious just think of something on the spot and do it without worrying about the consequences (with in reason of course), a place to meet girls have you tryed the beach, gym , a concert of a band you like , shops, or try starting a new hobby in a class where you can meet people like i dunno guitar, or surfing or i dunno something youv always wanted to do but never have itl help your shyness aswell

[ECD]

Simple. Stop being shy

[dimstar]

I appreciate all the comments and advice. I'm been told by friends and family to stop being shy ever since I finished high school, but it's still hard for me to do so. I don't know what it is but I can't even force myself to be spontaneous.

 

However, I did like the idea of taking some sort of class so today I signed up for some ice skating lessons at my former college. I figure that even if I don't meet anyone, at least I gave something new a try. I also saw a course listing for ballroom dancing but I didn't sign up fearing I'd be the only one showing up to class without a partner.

 

I guess the most frustrating thing right now is just finding a place to meet girls. Hanging around the college is out of the question since people might think I'm a pervert. I generally see a much younger crowing hanging out at the local coffee shops and bookstores. Bars and clubs as I mentioned before is not a place I'm comfortable in. I'll give the skating lessons a try first and work on overcoming my shyness. It going to be pretty tough but I do understand that if I don't do something about it now, I'll just get more upset and depressed that I'm still single.

 

Thanks again everyone.

[drahcir]

At many universities and colleges they have dance lessons that don't require a partner. You just show, pay your money, and learn to dance and hold a girl. Hold her gently!!!!! Usually there are more girls than guys who sign up for dance lessons, so that will work in your favor as most girls don't want to be dancing with other girls. Also signing up for dance lessons at a college will help protect you from just all older people showing up, which often happens at non-school dances. No one will think you are a pervert just because you are 27. There are men in thier 40's at my universities taking classes and no one thinks they are perverts. Its drunk people and immature people of any age who are perverts. ANyway just sign up for some dance lessons at a college.

 

Also, its great to see you are saving up for your own place. That will really make it easier to find girls because it shows you are independent. Look into maybe getting a no down payment mortgage (some banks do this if you have good credit and a stable job) so you can get into your own place quicker.