Is he shy or just not interested?

[bebeblondie]

So I was at a family party a week and a half ago, and saw a guy I used to hook up with about 8 of years back (just making out no sex or anything) since then we've seen each other a bunch of times and are pretty friendly, I think we both think very highly of each other but we never really hooked up again, we've both had boyfriends and girlfriends since then. So long story short when I saw him at the party, I told my cousin's husband (who is his best friend) that I thought he looked good. He in turn told him that I said that, and the next day the guy called my cousin's husband told him he thought I looked good too, and asked him for my number.

 

Now before I go any further, this is a very shy and socially awkward person. When my cousin said he was going to give him my number, in the back of my head I knew he wasn't gonna call, because he never called me 8 years ago, plans were always made through my cousin…and I know that he really liked me back then. So obviously he didn't call, and if he is not interested that's fine, but I just wish I knew if its because he's not interested, or he's just too shy. Before the party I had not seen him in over 2 years, so maybe he feels like he doesn't know where to start with me? I just feel like he wouldn't have called my cousin's husband the next day to ask for my # if he wasn't interested.

 

What do you guys think?

[Bunney]

So since you already know he's the shy type, why don't YOU make the first move? If you want this to go anywhere then I see that as your only option.

[SparksFly]

Well you have nothing to lose it seems by making the first move this time, especially if you know that he's a shy/awkward person? Someone has to be the one to make the first move, and if you're that interested in seeing if you guys still have something, it's the only thing you can do.

 

It's obvious really that if he wasn't interested then he wouldn't have asked for your number, maybe he's just concerned that you might not be interested? So show him that you are.

[april15]

I think he is being shy and took the step as far as he could calling your cousin, knowing it would get back to you that he had. Try to make plans the same way you used to those many years ago. If it works out, then get rid of the middle man, use a less threatening media to connect directly (email, snail mail or texting) and see where things end up.

[Generation]

Sounds like he's interested and shy. He probably thought it was gonna be macho and cool of him to ask the your cousin's husband for your number, but then when it comes to calling, he's frozen.

That's how it is. For example, you talk to a woman at the bar, you're hitting it off, you get her number and you know it was going good but then right before you call her, you start getting nervous and jittery, and you wonder how she really feels, and it's hard to muster the courage.

[lalalollipops]

I dunno... It always seemed to me, most guys would make a move eventually if they were keen enough.

The whole shy thing can cripple some people. But dude you guys used to make out.

He can't be that shy.

[Batya33]

Since you two have hooked up in the past I think it's fine if you call him without expecting that he wants to take you on dates (as opposed to start hanging out and hooking up again). Obviously you can ask him out on a "real" date so he knows what you're looking for.

[bebeblondie]

I get what you all are saying--that I have to make the first move basically, if I want anything to come out of this---but while I can understand him being too nervous/shy to pick up a phone and call me, I don't quite understand why he can't do something as simple as text me.

[SparksFly]

I get what you all are saying--that I have to make the first move basically, if I want anything to come out of this---but while I can understand him being too nervous/shy to pick up a phone and call me, I don't quite understand why he can't do something as simple as text me.

 

If he's really so shy and awkward, he may not want to make any contact first. And while you probably want him to make the first move, maybe he wants you to? Someone has to do it, so you may as well seeing as you have nothing to lose?

[Generation]

I get what you all are saying--that I have to make the first move basically, if I want anything to come out of this---but while I can understand him being too nervous/shy to pick up a phone and call me, I don't quite understand why he can't do something as simple as text me.

 

lol that's pretty smart, even I didn't think of that. Maybe he didn't think of it either.