If your parent had an affair on your other parent

[scared and alone]

And that not only resulted in the break up of the family, but a child came from it, yet they never out apologized or even discussed the event, would you forgive them?

[Moontiger]

Honestly, probably not.

[Moontiger]

What side of the situation are you on?

[scared and alone]

This is NOT ME. This is my parents. And yes, this is a LONG time ago, but my mom did this to my dad and it honestly kind of destroyed him. I love my mom but I have a hard time forgiving her, especially when she won't even own up to it.

[The_Seeker]

Nope. I disowned one of my parent if that ever happened.

 

I can not forgive if that ever happen even if you put a nuclear weapon near my head I still won't forgive.

 

That just shows one of my parent can't teach me or guide me how life is. I have lost total respect.

 

ALSO, it just shows me one of my parent didn't care about how it will affect me and selfishly thought about herself only instead of how it will affect as a whole.

[scared and alone]

Seeker, this is why I have such issues with my mom. lol

[Moontiger]

You could write her a letter expressing your feelings. Do you have much of a relationship with her at this point?

[The_Seeker]

Seeker, this is why I have such issues with my mom. lol

 

LOL We all do.

 

But to be honest, it's your life.

 

If you can't, then you can't.

 

If you can, you can.

 

My advice, focus on your life and MAKE SURE don't commit the same mistake to your kid or kids or whoever if you ever plan to do an affair.

[scared and alone]

Moontiger, yeah, i talk to her. My dad died when when I was just a teen and i lived with her. But ever since this situation happened and she basically forced me to take care of my brother (product of the affair) and younger sister, we haven't really gotten along. We do talk, but anyone that sees us together can see that its not a typical loving parent/child relationship. it's very weird. ive grown up enough now to not ignore her and our relationship when i lived with her, but i definitely still feel this anger towards her, especially because of what she did to my dad.

[scared and alone]

LOL We all do.

 

But to be honest, it's your life.

 

If you can't, then you can't.

 

If you can, you can.

 

My advice, focus on your life and MAKE SURE don't commit the same mistake to your kid or kids or whoever if you ever plan to do an affair.

 

i will say one good thing that came out of this messed up situation, its taught me exactly how NOT to be, both as a wife and a mother. Because, if my kids ever felt about me how i did and do her, I would hate myself forever.

[The_Seeker]

Moontiger, yeah, i talk to her. My dad died when when I was just a teen and i lived with her. But ever since this situation happened and she basically forced me to take care of my brother (product of the affair) and younger sister, we haven't really gotten along. We do talk, but anyone that sees us together can see that its not a typical loving parent/child relationship. it's very weird. ive grown up enough now to not ignore her and our relationship when i lived with her, but i definitely still feel this anger towards her, especially because of what she did to my dad.

 

Time out, how old are you?

 

Your mom is a bad woman. I am not sorry to say that.

 

THAT'S HER RESPONSIBILITY.

 

Yea.

 

[Checks unforgive]

 

She has no compassion in her heart still AFTER THE AFFAIR.

[Moontiger]

I agree with Seeker.

 

How old are you now? Are you still living with her?

[scared and alone]

Time out, how old are you?

 

Your mom is a bad woman. I am not sorry to say that.

 

THAT'S HER RESPONSIBILITY.

 

Yea.

 

[Checks unforgive]

 

She has no compassion in her heart still AFTER THE AFFAIR.

 

oh dear. im 27 now. when THAT happened, i was not even 15 yet. when my brother was born, i was 11 and i still had to take care of him, that was 2 years before my sister was born. a lot of the time, i couldn't even hang out with my friends so she could go out and i'd have to watch the babies. And whats even worse, was when my bro was almost a year old, my dad (shows what a good dad he was), my older sis and i took care of my bro so my mom could go to vegas with some guy she barely knew. I still remember that.

[Moontiger]

Heck, print off this thread and mail it to her.

 

Message to scared and alone's mom: You are a terrible human being. Stop being a selfish wanker and woman up to what you have done you CENSORED CENSORED CENSORED.

[The_Seeker]

oh dear. im 27 now. when THAT happened, i was not even 15 yet. when my brother was born, i was 11 and i still had to take care of him, that was 2 years before my sister was born. a lot of the time, i couldn't even hang out with my friends so she could go out and i'd have to watch the babies. And whats even worse, was when my bro was almost a year old, my dad (shows what a good dad he was), my older sis and i took care of my bro so my mom could go to vegas with some guy she barely knew. I still remember that.

 

Make sure she's not getting child support or whatever benefits.

 

Make sure you are the one getting that. AND NEVER TALK TO HER AGAIN.

 

Or else, you will grow gray hair faster than ever and suffer so much that it will cause your relationships and friendships with other people.

 

I wish you the best and may God be very kind to you! You deserve more out of life!

[scared and alone]

The funny thing about her, is now, she hides behind her new found "faith" Whatever. We ALL know who she REALLY is. Forget just being a decent human and woman, what about being a good MOM and APOLOGIZING for everything shes put her kids through? 17 years later, she can't even do it.

[scared and alone]

Seeker, unfortunately my dad passed away when I was 15, and I knew then I was screwed, he was the only real parent I had. But he and his parents were smart enough to make sure that whatever money would go to us went directly to US. Most of the time, my grandma was the one that bought us school clothes and supplies. It's like, she stopped even caring after the young ones were born.

[The_Seeker]

The funny thing about her, is now, she hides behind her new found "faith" Whatever. We ALL know who she REALLY is. Forget just being a decent human and woman, what about being a good MOM and APOLOGIZING for everything shes put her kids through? 17 years later, she can't even do it.

 

So it is decided.

 

She is unforgiven.

[The_Seeker]

Seeker, unfortunately my dad passed away when I was 15, and I knew then I was screwed, he was the only real parent I had. But he and his parents were smart enough to make sure that whatever money would go to us went directly to US. Most of the time, my grandma was the one that bought us school clothes and supplies. It's like, she stopped even caring after the young ones were born.

 

Who stopped caring? Your mom, or grandma?

 

Are you going to get custody of your siblings so she doesn't get the benefits?

[Hollyj]

How can she not own up to it if it resulted in a child?

[scared and alone]

oh no, my grandma is amazing. without her, i couldnt have made it this far. shes basically my mom.

 

my siblings are 16 and 13 now and they are a sad case. and they aren't my dads kids, so they get nothing from him.

[scared and alone]

How can she not own up to it if it resulted in a child?

 

thats what id like to know. she just literally won't talk about it or apologize.

[The_Seeker]

oh no, my grandma is amazing. without her, i couldnt have made it this far. shes basically my mom.

 

my siblings are 16 and 13 now and they are a sad case. and they aren't my dads kids, so they get nothing from him.

 

Even though they're your half siblings. Be there for them. Those years are the toughest. Since you grown to be motherlike to them, be there. They think they know everything but don't give up on them. SHOW THEM A LOT OF LOVE. In the end, if your mom decides to take them back for whatever reason, they know who cares about them and that will be you.

 

If you think about it, if you were there for them, they will be there for you [HOPEFULLY] when you are at your worst.

[The_Seeker]

thats what id like to know. she just literally won't talk about it or apologize.

 

here's a list.

 

- MY LIFE IS YOUNG still.

- MY LIFE IS BORING before and after I got married.

- I never had a life of my own.

- I got other children. They will take care of my kids.

- Why should I care?

- It's my life. I do what I want.

- I could put them in foster care/adoption etc.

- Whatever I'm getting money anyway and there are men who are treating me unlike my kids.

 

Those are the reasons.

[Surreality]

Happened with my parents. Didn't really affect me as much as you'd think, I never had in issue forgiving her, but I did lose a lot of respect for her. Respect is something that can be regained easily though. I will prolly never respect her as much, but I know who she is more than anyone else (yes more than my dad) and I can at LEAST understand as to why she may have done it. I just feel bad for my pops sometimes as he has issues with it to this day (20 years later