just a little FLUTTER in the heart...

[90_hour_sleep]

i'm not even sure where to put this. attraction seems closest. but it's still not quite right.

 

have you ever had that little fluttery feeling after only the briefest of exchanges with someone? it's not physical. it can hardly be called chemical. but there is definitely something there. with where i'm at on my own path...i'm inclined to think of it as an intuitive harmonic. there's a delightful precision about this feeling. it's so subtle...but so vibrant and wholesome at the same time. it's a bit like that feeling you get when a little kid randomly makes eye contact with you...and just smiles. there's something so uncontrived about the whole interaction. just uninhibited authenticity. that word.

 

i'm normally one to get into a long-winded and often vague description of what i'm feeling. so i'll probably just stop there. it's just...been such a very long time since i've felt this...whatever this is.

 

feel free to share your experiences.

[quirky]

Yes, I get that. It's a moment of connection. I think it happens more when you lead an authentic life, when you're in touch with your Higher Self, when you're encouraging/experiencing inner freedom, when you're truly open to the world and life. You seem to recognise that in others..maybe a common understanding, something subtle, a knowing. It is hard to pinpoint indeed. But I get that and most often it is with people that are on a personal growth journey themselves. Or with people that have been though something difficult and painful that transformed them.

 

I get that feeling also when I witness random acts of kindness or random moments that seem beautiful. Like you mentioned about the child..I once saw a child give to the greengrocer one of the free newspapers they deliver free in the city I live in and the greengrocer gave her a banana. I saw it from the bus and it made me smile and it stayed with me.

 

I get that feeling often particularly when I am positive..not necessarily happy but positive. I feel life run through me and the connections happen more.

[90_hour_sleep]

hey quirky...

 

i'm sure there's something to what you're saying. pain...suffering. it works differently for all of us. sometimes it hardens. sometimes it softens. but i think if you've been softened (or hardened for that matter)...there's a certain kindredness with others that you become more receptive to.

 

i think words will pretty much fail me here. i'm going to content myself with the notion that you know this feeling...in your own way. and it's a happy feeling to know that others feel it.

 

 

[quirky]

Yes, I don't know if my answer satisfies your question !

 

When I mentioned the pain I meant it in a soft way, as an understanding. A free life is not a life burdened by too much pain but a life that embraces that pain.. if that makes sense. Did you mean it more on an attraction level?

[90_hour_sleep]

soft...yes. that's the way i lean for sure. generally...i think hardening relates to 'closing'...and softening relates to 'opening'. openness is more natural i think. it's the way we want to go. hardening goes against our inner senses. i'm sure that's an opinion that's up for debate though.

 

i don't think it's a question that can really be 'satisfied'. just different degrees of understanding amongst each other. lol. does THAT make sense? haha.

 

i think i get what you're saying about pain. life isn't really about avoiding pain. there's a certain comfort in learning how to accept it into one's life...and embrace it as you say. i remember someone suggesting to live through difficult times as though you chose it...all of it. there's no picking and choosing. i think there's an ease that comes about as a result of dropping the resistance to the way things are. resisting pain seems to hurt more than the pain itself.

 

attraction isn't the right word. i think probably because there's a romantic association to it. i think it's right if you can somehow drop the emphasis on that part of the word. it's a lot like the feeling you get with a romantic partner with whom you feel completely at ease...but it's not limited to those people in particular. maybe more likely. in my case...this is all in reference to a stranger...a complete stranger. and it's not like the ''fireworks'' feeling of chemistry. it's a weird distinction. i'm failing on an epic level trying to describe this!

[Missing Gemini]

Quirky, The answer is yes. As a matter of fact, that is the reason why I am in this website.

 

I met this guy in September, we always looked at one another, and then one day, I accidentally offered him to sit in a table where I was sitting in the restaurant. I thought he was looking for a table but he was actually with someone. The moment I talked to him and our eyes met, I felt flutters in my stomach or nervous which I couldnt explain, sad thing is, I am committed. It started with one hello, brief chat for 20 minutes then the rest we were eating together with other co workers and friend. Whenever our eyes met, I can feel the connection, the vibrant feeling like it was the brightest day of my life. My gut feelings was he feel the same way, but he was decent enough and act like normal around me. He always write me an email at work, and I find myself responding to his emails. Nothing personal, nor romantic, just talking about life, our life in general. He admitted that he feel connected with me for some reason,it was the unknown thing, he said he felt, I was in his life for a reason. After 30 days of meeting him, he moved back home. We agreed to stay in touch. I find it weird that whenever he sent me an email, the time in his email, was the same time I was thinking about him. I thought it was purely coincidence, but I found it weird that we think at the same time. I feel connected with him for some reason, i tried to get explanation on this, or asked myself many times, Am I inlove with him or just attracted to him? For some reason his email, short or long made my day complete. Things slowed down, his email became lesser and lesser so I decided to say goodbye, it was for the best. It was tough for me, I regret my decision but agreed it was the right thing to do. Although we were not doing anything wrong, but morally speaking, our friendship is wrong as we are both committed. It's been over a month I have not heard from him and up to now I can't stop thinking about him. Just his face on my mind, I am not thinking anything romantic but just a thought of him made me feel sad, happy or lonely. I tried to keep myself busy or read some post in this website so I can get perspective of what I am going through...But is it really possible that you meet someone that will have a big impact in your life?

 

I am trying to move on, but I find myself writing him an email once in a while, nothing romantic just like a pal, saying hello and how things going but sad and glad no response on him. I will say even I feel sad not hearing from him, I also feel glad that he didnt pursue anything that will make me choose or confused with I already have in my life. Nope, we did not have a relationship but we felt very close even with the distance.

 

I feel like I am in a cross road... not sure what to do, but I am just letting things go. I am trying to move on and hoping time will heal everything. Sometimes I think people comes in your life for a reason, season or a lifetime, whatever reason he came to my life, I will cherished the bried memories we had together.

 

I apologize for the long post.