How Did You Know The Time Was Right to Live Together

[Silverbirch]

Hugs and BIG THANK YOU JN. Saturday it shall be and I'll get things prepared beforehand. I think I will do the Phoenix Ritual. Thanks heaps for the links XXX

[Silverbirch]

Feeling a lot better today, but had to get out of the house yesterday for a few hours before work as I started to feel really down thinking about that ex - more to do with having felt like I wasted so many years of my life with a person I should not have been with. I don't have any more years left to waste.

 

Things are looking a bit better for me job wise and my hopes and plans of improved financial stablility look as though they are starting to move along. David popped around to see me briefly 2 days ago before I had to leave for work. He brought some real coffee and muffins! He's a little down atm as all the rain we are having this week has kept him from being able to work - so not so much money earned this week, and he is planning to cram as much as he can into the weekend when the sun comes out. He's talking about going back to his previous line of work and just doing the equine work as an extra as it can be too unpredictable, especially in winter and at the moment, with the current economic climate, a lot of people are cutting back on spending. Fortunately for him, he should be getting a good tax cheque soon. The plan is, regardless of whatever happens, that both of us are working towards improved finances and work stability.

[Realitynut]

But doesn't he understand being a people-pleaser isn't a BAD thing??? It doesnt' have to be cuz you are 'insecure'...maybe he should change his way of thinking about you...and seeing your 'people pleasing' skills as a positive, rather than a negative. Maybe all these women like you cuz you are a people pleaser....lol...what does he want you to be? a B*tch??? lol

 

You are who you are, and he loves you for that!

 

I read a book once, that some traits a person has, your partner at first thinks of it as a 'positive' cute, enduring....then as time marches on, those exact same traits that attracted him, become a 'negative'.

 

Maybe he shouldn't think of it as 'mothering'...he should think of it as you doing 'considerate' things for him, cuz you LOVE him! Of course he can get his own glass of water, but because you love him and want to be the sweet, caring, kind, loving, people-pleasing person that you are....you just do it out of the goodness of your heart!

 

He needs a new perspective. If I thought someone I was with and I loved, and he was insecure, I'd do everything in my power to reassure him. Why? Cuz I can. Cuz I love him. And I make the effort. How difficult is it to stroke someones' ego when they need it. Not hard at all. All dogs love to be petted. So do we.

 

Off my soap box.

What the heck do I know...

[Silverbirch]

Hugs Carla,

How are you. Hope you are feeling better and so sorry to hear about all you have recently been through.

 

I was going to stay at David's place tonight but due to both of us having work tomorrow and a few aches thought I'd stay in. Then I found out he has already bought dinner, a gas heater and cleaned his place because he knew I was coming. I admit I would like to see him anyhow, but just going over for a couple of hours instead. Right now, I'm quite focused on work and being energetic and awake enough to do a really good job. It's rained all week here and I've got wet clothes hanging about over the furniture. HOpe the sun will come out over the weekend even though I will be working.

 

Went to my bellydance group this morning. Best thing I've done in a long time although I wasn't able to do all the dances as I worked last night until 10pm and not home until 11pm. We went to lunch afterwards. I told the drumming teacher that I won't be able go to the class this term until next term due to finances and she told me to come anyway even if I couldn't pay!!! I find it really difficult to do things like that so I might pay as I go along. I did buy myself a very small television set today to keep in my room - haven't had a fully working TV for years and I'm so behind in the news and with it being so cold right now, I've really wanted one.

 

Oh yeah, David I think secretly might like to be "mothered" from time to time. I'm like you though Carla. I don't really see some things as mothering but as loving things a friend can do for another friend or a lover for their lover. He is after all providing food for me tonight. When I told him I wouldn't be staying tonight, he said: "That's alright, I'm not just with you for sex. YOu do have a lot of other qualities which make me want to be with you." I laughed and asked him what they were and he said: "Everything about you except for smoking cigarettes. You're a good soul."

 

Anyway, I suppose I'm nesting for myself in this place I'm living in right now to set myself up right for winter. I think I'll be here a while yet. Doggie is barking too so I'd better go. xxxx

[Silverbirch]

Hugs Carla,

How are you. Hope you are feeling better and so sorry to hear about all you have recently been through.

 

I was going to stay at David's place tonight but due to both of us having work tomorrow and a few aches thought I'd stay in. Then I found out he has already bought dinner, a gas heater and cleaned his place because he knew I was coming. I admit I would like to see him anyhow, but just going over for a couple of hours instead. Right now, I'm quite focused on work and being energetic and awake enough to do a really good job. It's rained all week here and I've got wet clothes hanging about over the furniture. HOpe the sun will come out over the weekend even though I will be working.

 

Went to my bellydance group this morning. Best thing I've done in a long time although I wasn't able to do all the dances as I worked last night until 10pm and not home until 11pm. We went to lunch afterwards. I told the drumming teacher that I won't be able go to the class this term until next term due to finances and she told me to come anyway even if I couldn't pay!!! I find it really difficult to do things like that so I might pay as I go along. I did buy myself a very small television set today to keep in my room - haven't had a fully working TV for years and I'm so behind in the news and with it being so cold right now, I've really wanted one.

 

Oh yeah, David I think secretly might like to be "mothered" from time to time. I'm like you though Carla. I don't really see some things as mothering but as loving things a friend can do for another friend or a lover for their lover. He is after all providing food for me tonight. When I told him I wouldn't be staying tonight, he said: "That's alright, I'm not just with you for sex. YOu do have a lot of other qualities which make me want to be with you." I laughed and asked him what they were and he said: "Everything about you except for smoking cigarettes. You're a good soul."

 

Anyway, I suppose I'm nesting for myself in this place I'm living in right now to set myself up right for winter. I think I'll be here a while yet. Doggie is barking too so I'd better go. xxxx