I can't be the only emotional man out there...

[BHeilman]

I have a BIG problem I need help with. I am totally driven and controlled by my emotions. I CAN'T STOP IT!!! People have complained about this to me and I don't know how to keep them under control!

I don't know why I take everything so personally and too seriously, but I do. I wish I didn't take myself so seriously, but I don't know how to stop!

I've been like this my whole life... I've tried anti-depressents, no help at all!! Of course, I was with someone at the time who depressed me, not anymore though.

This has affected me in every possible way, makes friends not like me any more, some anyway, workers look at me and just roll their eyes, and my family just says to stop!

Don't tell me anything that will cost me money and I don't want to hear another platitude! I've tried counseling, but really ended up dealing with other things...

[ECD]

This might be harsh, but it will surely work.

 

I woulf reccomend:

 

1. Going to the mountains and living 2+ months in the wilderness

 

2. Joining the army and going through boot camp

 

3. Beating the living feces out of the next guy that disrespects you

[BHeilman]

I'm too old for the army, 35

I'm not really much of of a fighter..

but I like the mountain idea

[DragonSlayerX]

ur the alone there...a real man shows isnt afraid to show his emtions my gf and alot of my friend say that bc iam always controlled by my emtions.. i cry get happy sad w/e comes to mind ^_^

[rnorth]

Just to verify, are you someone who thinks whenever someone else who is important in your life, has an issue, is depressed or unhappy, that somehow it has to do with you? I have dealt with this in the past and there is only one attitude that you need to adopt; not everything is about you.

 

You are suffering from depressive narcissicism. This is a selfish affliction. I know because I have exhibited this before myself.

 

When you hear someone else complain, even if they blame it on you, it is important to realize that you are dealing with an individual with their own life experiences that extend back to before they met you.

 

The tactic that I use that is very theraputic is to respond with genuine concern and caring. Not to think about one's self, but to direct your concern back on the individual. This way you no longer worry about how they think about you, but the real problem that they are experiencing.

 

If we want to be successful in our relationships, we need to approach them not thinking what we can get out of them, but what we can give to them. Let negative comments roll off you. Feel compassion for that person instead of taking it personally.

 

This takes practice and time but try and work on this attitude. Also, and this sounds hokey, but listen to Tony Robbins. He has some very strong insight into this and other self-defeating tendencies.

 

You deserve to be happy.

[BHeilman]

I'm not sure who tony robbins is, but I'll try to find out. Yeah, that's exactly how I feel, like everything involves me somehow, when it can't possibly! Kinda silly when you look at it that way!

[BHeilman]

You know what I think my problem is? I take myself, and probably life in general, WAYYYY too seriously! hmmm... I need to learn to make fun of myself and be happy with who I am. I do deserve to be happy

[ECD]

I was serious about the mountain thing dude. It can do you wonders.

[crazylemur]

I feel for you BHielman, your not the only emotional person out there, when things go bad, everyone has a tendency to react rather than respond. Anyway - it just shouldn't go much further than a few "lessons learned", after that pal, your on your own (which is why people are posting some of the stuff they are in response). Anti-depressant? Being happy is great - but you have to get some focus and discipline and start practicing some self control. Its like anything else - you can't walk into a gym and start benching a couple hundred pounds, you have to work at it. Emotional strengths won't come from a Tony Robbins book (though reading his books are a great personal experience). Learning to control your emotion comes from controlling your emotions, plain and simple. The more you do it, the better you get at it. Remember, you have a spoiled mentality - get over the idea that your the center of the universe and swallow some of the things that "happen to you".