BHeilman

You know what I think my problem is? I take myself, and probably life in general, WAYYYY too seriously! hmmm... I need to learn to make fun of myself and be happy with who I am. I do deserve to be happy

I'm not sure who tony robbins is, but I'll try to find out. Yeah, that's exactly how I feel, like everything involves me somehow, when it can't possibly! Kinda silly when you look at it that way!

I'm too old for the army, 35 I'm not really much of of a fighter.. but I like the mountain idea

I have a BIG problem I need help with. I am totally driven and controlled by my emotions. I CAN'T STOP IT!!! People have complained about this to me and I don't know how to keep them under control! I don't know why I take everything so personally and too seriously, but I do. I wish I didn't take myself so seriously, but I don't know how to stop! I've been like this my whole life... I've tried anti-depressents, no help at all!! Of course, I was with someone at the time who depressed me, not anymore though. This has affected me in every possible way, makes friends not like me any more, some anyway, workers look at me and just roll their eyes, and my family just says to stop! Don't tell me anything that will cost me money and I don't want to hear another platitude! I've tried counseling, but really ended up dealing with other things...

Well, I did it! I went to a park and let it all out! I've cried sooo much and yelled sooo much for her, I just never did it in public before! For me, it was realizing how futile my feelings are... There were people there, I yelled my heart out in this little outdoors ampitheater. Nothing was going on in it, but people were enjoying the nice quiet park when I yelled out WHY GOD WHY, and I LOVE HER GOD!! I cried some, but I've cried more before.... I need to let this go and realize it was never meant to be!

I will try this idea tomorrow in a park, thanks man!

I wasn't positive where this should go, but this is close enough. There was a girl I used to work with, let's call her Ruth, who I CANNOT stop thinking about! We worked together for about 10 months. We hit it off right away when she started there, I was there before she was. We would talk all the time. We worked in a call center, so we could sit right next to each other. She is married, I'm going through a divorce. When I first met her is when my soon to be ex and I decided to get a divorce. Ruth has been through this and always cheered me up when I was sad. I would follow Ruth around and act like a puppy dog, ignoring all my other buddies there. We ate luches and took breaks together every day. I even told her I loved her a couple of times. She has a wonderful smile that just lights up the world! I know we were just friends, but somewhere in all those lunches and breaks I fell in love. I would say things that a friend just would say, like that I would never get tired of her. I even met her hubby once before she left that job. I didn't have any ill will towards him at all. As my soon to be ex got further along in our divorce I would cling to Ruth more and more. When she left there it was the saddest day of my life, sadder than my divorce! I've come to believe I never had any true feelings for anyone till Ruth. I still talk to her and her hubby online, and I've visited them a couple of times. I had a fantasy not to long ago where he was dead and I swept her off her feet. I know you all think I am a terrible person for this, but it's true! I still see her smile everytime I go to work and it's just killing me!! I want so bad to tell someone... I know her hubby has never done anything to hurt her, he and I have become friends as well. But in the back of my mind I want desparately to be where he is! I've got a draft of an email where I tell all my feelings for her, this email will never get sent! I can't help but wonder if it's only her happiness, good maraige, and smile I want since my marriage is over. I really think it's something more, why can't I stop thinking about her? Why do I keep dreaming about her? People have told me I'm in love with Ruth. But noone has a clue how to make it stop! I want to try and remain frineds with both of them, they are helping me with my divorce, my life, my well-being, they even helped me by a new pc which I am on now!